Reviews of exercise programs show that they don’t work for a lot of kids.
- In response to the news the kids said, “It’s not our fault… we can’t find the power button!”
Research has found that most sexually active teens first had sex in their parents’ home.
- Whatever happened to the good old days when sexually active teens first had sex in their parents’s car?
A reviewer in New York call Lady Gaga’s new Manhattan restaurant “worse than herpes.”
- Apparently he doesn’t like his steak “Medium rare and previously worn”.
- She never should have named the place, “Lady Gag-Gag’s”.
On this day in 1952 “The Complete Book of Etiquette” was first published.
- Ironically, the author became the first one to break the rules by not sending the publisher a “thank you” note.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Congratulations to Miguel Cabrera for becoming only the 12th MLB player in history to win the Triple Crown! Highest Batting Average, Most Homeruns and Most RBI’s!
While both sides claimed a victory in last night’s Presidential debate, most pundits say that Romney came across very energetic, while Obama seemed asleep at the wheel.
- Apparently “No-Doz” isn’t covered under Obamacare.
President Obama prepared for the debate with Massachusetts senator John Kerry playing the role of Mitt Romney.
- And John Edwards played the role of the dog strapped to the roof of Mitt’s car.
- Meanwhile Romney prepared for the debate by talking to an empty chair.
In the wake of the Columbian prostitution scandal, the Secret Service has implemented limits on how much agents can drink.
- They can still hire Hookers, they’re just not allowed to get drunk beforehand.
- If I was President, the only thing I would want “loaded” when it came to a Secret Service Agent was his gun.
According to a new study, scientific research fraud is on the rise.
- Or so the scientists who did the study would like us to believe…
Experts say that sex is a natural beauty treatment.
- So you can become beautiful by having sex. The only problem is, you have to be beautiful to start with or no one will have sex with you.
- Apparently Rosie O’Donnell has been celebate since 1987.
The photographer for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad defected and is seeking asylum in the U.S.
- Great…just when I was looking forward to the pix of Ahmadinejad and his little girl at the “Dictator-Daughter Dinner Dance”.
On this day in Christian Huygens patented the Pocket Watch.
- Later that day a new phrase was coined: “Is that a watch in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an all-new Podcast!
-Dick
Two Big Events tonight… In the last game of the regular season, Miguel Cabrera goes for the Triple Crown while Mitt Romney and President Obama face each other in the first of three debates.
- So tonight we’ve got three guys who are trying to hit it out of the park!
The Chief of the Detroit Police, Ralph Godbee, has been put on leave after it was discovered that he was having an affair with a female officer in the department. She apparently blew the whistle on him when she discovered that he was having another affair with the same woman who had an affair with the last Chief of Police, Warren Evans - which ended up costing him his job.
- Godbee didn’t mind handing over his badge, but asked if he could keep his handcuffs.
After getting widespread ridicule, the Obama campaign yanked an Internet ad that read, “Vote as if your lady parts depend on it”.
- Chaz Bono has no idea who to vote for.
- Question: Do “man boobs” count as “lady parts”?
At a campaign rally, Joe Biden argued that Republicans would raise taxes on the middle class, and that would be terrible because the middle class “has been buried the last four years”.
- “Buried”, huh? Well I guess that finally explains all those “shovel ready jobs” Obama kept talking about.
- We thought for a while that Jimmy Hoffa in a Roseville driveway was a “shovel ready job”, but it turned out to be a dead end street.
The FAA is investigating American Airlines planes in which some seats came unbolted during flights.
- They figured out there was a problem when the pilot ended up flying the plane from the last row.
Internet addiction will soon be labeled as a mental illness in a new International health encyclopedia.
- Luckily, the encyclopedia has an online edition.
A Michigan State University professor snapped in class, stripped naked, and began ranting that his colleagues were all actors and “there is no (expletive) God!”. He teaches mathematics.
- When asked if he would be fired, the head of the Department said, “You do the math!”
On this day in 1922 the first facsimile photo was sent over city telephone lines in Washington, D.C.
- It was a picture of a Congressman’s private parts.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick