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GO TIGERS!!!

Post-Season here we come! Congratulations to the Tigers who clinched the American League Central Division Championship last night when they defeated the KC Royals 6-3! And Cabrera inches closer to winning Triple Crown! 

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"Let Them Eat...Asparagus???"

Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan said that he prefers asparagus to cake. 

- Tip to Readers: You can enjoy both veggies and sweets by simply doing what I do: eating Carrot Cake.  

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Royal Family Costs A Kings Ransom!

A study finds that British taxpayers spend $58 million a year on the Royal Family.

- Not counting the bribe money they spend trying to prevent the tabs from printing naked pictures of them. 

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"Lost In Translation?"

According to a Japanese study, people are able to complete work more efficiently if they spend part of their work day looking at photos of cute fuzzy kittens on the internet. 

 

 

 

- In America “cute fuzzy kittens” translates into the English word “porn”.  

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Today's Almanac

On this day in 1949 the first television sitcom, “The Aldrich Family” debuted on NBC. 

- Unlike today’s sit-coms, it featured an overweight, not-so-smart dad with witty kids and a beautiful wife. No wait…

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

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Welcome To October-Fast!!!

The Lions disappoint again… But the Tigers’ magic number for clinching Division down to 1! Cabrera close to winning the Triple Crown! 

***** 

Aides to both Obama and Romney are trying to lower expectations for how well their candidate will do in Wednesday’s first Presidential debate. 

- Obama plans to make himself look good by having Joe Biden warm-up the crowd. 

- Romney plans to make himself look good by having Joe Biden warm-up the crowd. 

*****

A new study finds that Republican women politicians look more feminine that Democratic women politicians. 

- Finally…the REAL reason why Bill Clinton always said he was willing to “reach across the aisle”. 

*****

National Sausage Month begins today. 

- Former Congressmen Anthony Weiner will celebrate by tweeting pictures of himself to his former female constituants. 

- Want more info? Just follow the “link”. 

*****

Justin Bieber got sick during a concert in Arizona and threw up twice onstage. 

- Perhaps he was actuallly listening to his own songs through his ear piece? 

*****

A college in Spain is reportedly offering a class in prostitution. 

- Let’s face it…Prostitution is probably one of the only professions left where you’re guaranteed to make a living. 

- The professor was said to be “exhausted” after the first take-home exam. 

*****

A study finds that couples who share housework run a higher risk of divorcing. 

- This confirms what I’ve been telling my wife for years. 

***** 

On this day in 1888 the first issue of National Geographic Magazine was published. 

- Later that day, thousands of teenage boys locked themselves in their bedrooms and didn’t come out for a week. 

Have a great first day of October and I’ll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

 

 

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Purtan Podcast #59: "How I Accepted A TV Emmy That I Found Out Moments Later I Hadn't Won"

In this my 59th Podcast, Jackie and I are once again joined by story-teller extraordianare and former “Purtan’s Person” Tom DeLisle. Before Tom headed out to Hollywood to hob-nob with the “big stars”, he worked for me - writing bits for my radio show as well as co-writing and producing my TV special which aired on Channel 4 in 1981. We take a look back at some of the great moments we shared… including the time I accidentally went on stage to accept a TV Emmy that I hadn’t won, and a visit to Jackie up at UofM for a football game that went horribly wrong (the visit…not the game).

Tom also shares a great story about how the Great Gordie Howe was questioned by the Police about a set of stolen golf clubs that he’d received as “a gift” from a local, um, how do I put it, “Businessman”. 

I’m not sure how we did it, but we also managed to get in a discussion about Bill Bonds, Thomas Jefferson, and who had the better body, Jamie Lee Curtis or her mother, “Psycho” star Janet Lee.

And for the “Tip of the Week” I’ll tell you guys out there a great way to get sympathy from your wife or girlfriend when you’ve been “overserved”. 

So sit back and enjoy as we “serve up” Podcast #59. Have a great weekend! 

- Dick 

Purtan Podcast #59 (30:58)

 

 

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Finally...A "Good Call" In The NFL!!!

The owners and the striking NFL referees have settled their dispute and the “Regular Refs” will even be working the game between Baltimore and Cleveland tonight. Prior to the agreement, the NFL players were considering protesting by taking a knee on every snap.

 

- The replacement refs are just lucky they aren’t taking a knee to the groin.

 

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Ahmadine-Jerk At UN...

During his speech to the UN yesterday, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called for “a new world order”. 

- He also announced a worldwide ban on ugly sticks… like the one his parents apparently hit him with while he was growing up. 

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Some Chicken Soup Would Have Cured Him!

The New York Post put together a gift basket of Jewish food, including bagels and cream cheese, to try to change Ahmadinejad’s attitude, but the Secret Service Agents wouldn’t let them deliver it. 

- So they confiscated the basket and sent it to their Hooker friends in Colombia.

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Today's Almanac

On this date in 2008 CNSA astronaut Zhai Zhigang became the first Chinese person to perform a spacewalk.

- And he managed to keep 7 plates spinning on sticks at the very same time!  

 

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow with a brand new Podcast! 

-Dick

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OMG! Justin Bieber on DWTS!

Justin Bieber lipsynched his way through his hit song “As Long As You Love Me” last night on DWTS, wearing what looked to be a leather bodysuit. 

- Reportedly he did pretty well considering he was up WAY past his bedtime! 

- Viewers said you could see his Batman underpants peaking out of of his leather costume.

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Pam Anderson Gets The Kiss-Off; Tom Bergeron Gets Kissed!

Pamela Anderson and her partner were the first couple voted off on the brand new season of DWTS - The All-Star Edition. 

- Apparently the judges thought she was “stiff and plastic”.

Host Tom Bergeron was caught off guard when Kirstie Alley planted a long kiss on him “for winning his Emmy” as Best Reality Show host Sunday night. 

- Tom said the earth moved… Not from the kiss, but from Kirstie running across the stage. 

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