Purtan Podcast #60: From The Kennedys To The Kardashians: Celebrities In The News...And The Nude!

Happy weekend! In today’s ALL NEW Podcast (#60!), Jackie and I sit down with the frequent and “fascinating” (his word, not ours) guest Tom DeLisle for a rapid fire look at celebs both living and those what have gone to that great People Magazine in the sky. From Madonna’s pledge to strip naked on stage if Obama is re-elected to Charlize Theron’s new obese, gay boyfriend… It’s all here. 

And on the heels of the Vice-Presidential debate, we discuss a rather famous Political Family - the Kennedys. Tom, a friend of Bobby and Ethel Kennedy’s daughter Courtney, shares some some rather embarrassing stories about his time with her. (Let’s just say road trips. singing along with the radio and alcohol don’t always make for the best mix!) 

And of course, me - being me - I find a way to bring up some “new” info about World War II. 

If history isn’t your thing, don’t worry! We wrap things up with an in-depth look at the sex lives of gorillas and the importance of chimpanzees’ butts. 

So sit your butt down and check out Podcast #60! 

Have a great weekend! 

-Dick 

Purtan Podcast #60 (26:36)

Go Tigers!!!

Do or Die for the Tigers tonight in Game 5 against the A’s… They’re tied at 2 a piece after a 9th inning Tiger meltdown by Valverde. Verlander takes the mound tonight! First pitch: 9:37pm Detroit time. 

*****

On the eve of the Vice Presidential debate, it was revealed that Barack Obama had been a guest at moderator Martha Raddatz’s wedding. 

- But she insists she won’t favor Biden since the Obama’s gave her a really ugly vase as a wedding gift. 

*****

President Obama claims that he was just “too polite” in last weeks debate. 

- You could tell…expecially when he asked the moderator to give him some easier questions to answer. 

*****

The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency declared that Lance Armstrong’s cycling team comprised “the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program” they’d ever seen. 

- Obviously the Anti-Doping Agency was never required to investigate Cheech and Chong. 

*****

GM is hiring hundreds of IT workers in Michigan due to the increased use of computerized technology in cars. 

- Not only is the pay good, GM is actually paying all of their moving expenses from India!

*****

A study in the New England Journal of Medicine found that Nobel Prize-winning geniuses are more likely to eat a lot of chocolate than ordinary people. 

- If that’s true, wouldn’t all women with PMS be Nobel Laureates? 

*****

Country/Pop star Carrie Underwood says tht big hair makes the rest of her look small. 

- No wonder Marge Simpson looks anorexic! 

- This explains why we all looked so much thinner back in the 80’s. 

*****

On this day in 1689 Peter the Great became Tsar of Russia. 

- When he got divorced a few years later Mrs. the Great admitted that he was more “Peter the Average”. 

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an ALL NEW Podcast! 

-Dick

Talk About An Angry Bird!

Sesame Workshop demanded that the Obama campaign remove the image of Big Bird from their latest anti-Romney attack ad.  

- If they want to hire a bird to do their talking, they should go with a parrot. 

- Meanwhile Bert & Ernie are planning a pro-Obama ad thanking him for his support of gay marriage. 

Kids Miffed At Mitt?

Mitt Romney is being criticized for backing out of a Nickelodeon kids question and answer session. 

- He was afraid they would dump that green goop on him and mess up his hair. 

- His campaign staff denied rumors that Mitt cancelled because he believes Dora the Explorer and her cousin Diego are illegal immigrants. 

Sandusky Oh, Bye, Oh!

Jerry Sandusky was sentenced to 30-60 years in prison. 

- Or as I like to call it “Not nearly long enough”.

- His wife Dottie still thinks he’s downstairs in the basement watching TV.  

Another Dumb Idea From The Folks In California...

Tim Robbins is teaching acting to inmates at a California prison. 

- Is it really a good idea to let the guy who figured out how to break out of prison in the “Shawshank Redemption” teach an acting class to criminals?  

OMG! QVC Host Faints; Co-Host Just Keeps Selling!

QVC guest host Cassie Laner fainted on live TV and fell into the arms of her male co-host, who just kept right on with his sales pitch and never missed a beat. 

- He even sold the necklace and earrings she was wearing! 

- As an added bonus…she won’t have to pay for the ambulance ride to the hospital because QVC offers FREE shipping! 

Hogan No Hero to Sex-Tape Co-Star...

The woman in the Hulk Hogan sex tape says that she’s embarassed by the whole thing. 

- Apparently the Hulk wasn’t so “Incredible”. 

Today's Almanac

On this day in 1966 the game of Twister was invented…

- …by a group of out-of-work chiropractors.  

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Go Get 'Em Tigers!

Tigers will try and make it 3-0 tonight in their third game against the A’s in Oakland. Game 9:07pm Detroit time. Go Tigers! 

If Only She'd Exercised Her "Right To Remain Silent"!

Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee announced his retirement after being accused - for the second time in two years - of having a sexual relationship with a subordinate. In the latest scandal, he allegedly rewarded the female officer with a promotion to the internal affairs department. 

- Well if anyone knows about the “internal affairs department” it’s Ralph Godbee. 

- Godbee says he plans to go into the insurance business and offer women his special “retirement package”. 

"The Captain Says Your Seat Is Now Free To Move Around The Cabin..."

American Airlines claims that a combination of poor design along with spilled coffee and pop is what’s causing seats on its planes to come loose during the flight. 

- Call me crazy but I’ve always thought it was the passengers that became jittery, not the seats.  

Sexless Marriages: "Cruel" But Probably Not "Unusual" Punishment!

A top court has ruled that a sexless marriage constitutes cruelty and is grounds for divorce. 

-  Who knew the seven-times divorced Larry King wasn’t really the stud he appeared to be on TV. 

Terrorists: All Fired Up?

Al Qaeda is being blamed for several forest fires aound Europe. 

- Good to see they’re branching out in new directions. 

- Apparently the terrorists were told that if they set the fires, when they die, they’ll get 72 sapplings. 

Lady Gaga Latest Celeb To Ride "Vomit Comet" On Stage!

One week after Justin Bieber vomited on stage in Arizona, Lada Gaga vomited on stage in Spain. 

- They’ve decided to tour together in a show being billed as “Puke-a-Palooza”. 

One Of Hollywood's Longest Marriages Comes Up Short...

Hollywood was stunned Monday at news that Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have split up after 30 years of marriage. 

- Rhea claims she was tired of getting “the short end of the stick”. 

- It’s all about respect…they both want to find somebody they can look up to. 

Today's Almanac

On this day in 1872 Aaron Montgomery began the mail-order business. 

- The next day, stock in “plain brown wrapping paper” went through the roof.  

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday! 

Go Tigers!

-Dick

Tigers: Way To Go At Two and Oh!

Tigers up 2 games to zip against the Oakland A’s in the first round of the play-offs! Next game: Tuesday, 9:07pm our time, in Oakland… Go Tigers! 

At least the Lions didn’t lose! (It was a bye week.)

Joe Biden Gets New Shoes For Debate To Avoid Germs When He Puts Foot In Mouth!

Vice President Joe Biden has taken a week off campaigning to prepare for his debate with Republican Veep Candidate Paul Ryan. 

- While he’s practicing, the Obama campaign is desparately trying to get the debate changed to a “silence contest”. 

Voyager I Leaves Solar System; Unfortunately Lindsay Lohan Not On Board...

New information from NASA’s Voyager 1 indicates that the spacecraft may have exited the Solar System. 

- It’s nice to know even rocket scientists can get screwed over by using MapQuest. (Or maybe it was the new iPhone 5 Map App!)