Reports say that former President George W. Bush spends his time these days painting pictures of dogs.
- Playing poker.
- He considerers himself “the Rembrant-er-er” of dog painting.
Amid growing controversy that Lance Armstrong was involved in one of the most sophisticated doping-shemes in sports history, Nike has ended their endorsement deal with him.
- Come on! They’re the ones who said “Just Do It!”
A company called “Fame Daddy” claims they will be opening a “Celebrity Sperm Donor Clinic” starting next year. They say it will allow women to pick a father for their child who excels in a variety of areas including sports.
- I believe there is already an organization that provides this service… It’s called “The NBA”.
Katie Holmes told friends that when she does date again, it won’t be with any actors.
- She should have won a “Best Actress” Oscar for pretending she was in love with Tom all those years.
On this day in 1834 the gas meter was patented by James Bogardus.
- But he told his wife that the dog did it.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
P.S. GO TIGERS!!!
It’s National Boss’s Day! Fitting because Justin Verlander will show the Yankees who’s boss tonight in Game 3 of the series against NY! Tigers lead best of 7 series 2 games to Zip! Game time: 8pm.
Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will face off tonight in the second of their three presidential debates. This time, the debate will be in a town hall format, moderated by CNN’s Candy Crowley and featuring random questions from audience members.
- In politics, “random” is defined as “pre-screened and carefully chosen by the moderator”.
In an interview on radio’s “The Yo Show”, President Obama said he’s certain that American Idol judges Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj can work out their feud “peacefully”.
- He said the same thing about the Israelis and the Palestinians.
- And people say that the politicians in this country aren’t addressing the really important issues!
Hillary Clinton is “falling on her sword” - taking responsibility for the lack of security and resulting attacks in Benghazi last month.
- That’s the difference between Bill and Hillary… He brandishes his sword; she’s falls on hers.
A hotel in Thailand is charging 50 cents a cup for coffee that includes elephant dung.
- They say it’s “Good To The Last Dump!”
- Their slogan is “Thailand Runs on Dumbo!”
Scientists have discovered a new planet that is twice the size of earth which seems to be largely composed of diamonds.
- They would have found it years ago, but it took this long for their eyes to adjust to the glare.
- The planet’s official name is “A Girl’s Best Friend”.
On this day in 1793 Marie Antoinette’s last words were “Pardon, sir. I did not do it on purpose”.
- She had more to say but the guillotine cut her off.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday! Go Tigers!
-Dick
Great weekend for Animals… Lions, Tigers and Wolverines that is!
Felix Baumgartner captured worldwide attention as well as a new record when he accended 24 miles above earth in a hot air balloon, then jumped, falling to Earth in only 4 minutes. He fell at an amazing 834 mph - reportedly breaking the speed of sound - before landing safely.
- The last guy to fall to earth that quickly was Anthony Weiner when he accidentally tweeted nude pix of this “Twitter” to all of his constituents.
- Baumgartner is denying rumors that he snuck his girlfriend on the balloon so he could be the first man to join the “24 Mile High Club”.
If you missed it… here’s the official video released by the jumps sponsor, Red Bull…
Both Obama and Romney took Sunday off from campaigning so they can practice for Tuesday night’s debate.
- Romney is brushing up on foreign policy and Obama is laying in a supply of that 5-Hour Energy Drink to try and stay awake this time.
Lindsay Lohan has endorsed Mitt Romney.
- Therefore getting a lock on the much coveted “celebrity train-wreck” vote.
Michael Vick has admitted that his family has a dog.
- The dog has denied it.
- On the bright side, that’s one less appetizer for North Korea’s Kim Jong Un.
Lady Gaga has posed topless for a magazine shoot standing next clothing designer Donnatella Versace. Lady does use her arms to (sort-of) cover her chest.
- It was chilly in the studio, so between shots Lady Gaga slipped on a robe… made of strip steaks.
Scientists are now suggesting that sex addiction is a real medical disorder.
- So ladies don’t think of your husband as “cheating”, think of him as “suffering from a medical disorder”.
On this day in 1860 eleven-year-old Grace Bedell of New York, wrote a letter to Abraham Lincoln suggesting he would look better if grew a beard.
- This year during the Salvation Army Radiothon I got a letter from Grace’s great-great grandaugher saying I’d look better if I shaved my mustache Off.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick