I stayed up late (hey, I always do now!) to watch all the election results. Of course the results are important to all of us, but I realized I’d gone a little overboard when I jumped up off the couch and fist-bumped my wife Gail when they announced that Zeke Grabinski had just won the 4th Congressional District in North Dakota. (I’d never heard of Zeke before last night… but I wish him well!)
Kids in San Francisco are McMad!
San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors voted 8 to 3 Tuesday, in a veto-proof majority to effectively ban Happy Meals. The new law requires restaurant kid meals to meet strict nutritional guidelines if they want to include a toy. Some say its an encroachment on freedom while others say it will help fight childhood obesity. All in all it might not make a difference since Mickey D’s can still sell the Happy Meals without the toys, which were recently rated as “sucky” in a poll of San Fran kids.
- Ironically, San Francisco resident and soon-to-be ex Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, described the overall National Election results as “Sucky”.
- In a related story in-Bun-bent Mayor McCheese easily defeated his opponent known only as “Wendy”.
McDonald’s Gets McScrewed Again…
A Brazilian court last week ordered McDonald’s to pay a former manager $17,000 because he got fat while working there. He said he felt forced by McDonald’s quality standards to sample the food every day to make sure it tasted good enough, plus the company offered free lunches to employees. He gained 65 pounds over the 12 years that he worked there, but McDonald’s may appeal noting that they offer low-cal options like salads.
- Who hasn’t gained 65 pounds in 12 years?
- His attorney said his client now has a serious medical condition and needs to see a urologist from eating too many McNuggets.
Speaking of Super-Sizing…
America isn’t the only country with an obesity problem: A British clothing company has begun selling the nation’s largest off-the-rack suit. It’s Size XXXXL. The pants have a 60-inch waist and the jacket has a 64-inch chest – that’s 22 inches wider than average. Two average size men could comfortable fit in the suit.
- Or one guy who used to work at a McDonald’s in Brazil.
- Or one guy who used to work on my radio show…
- Despite Sunday’s victory, XXXXL is the Superbowl the Lions will most likely appear in.
But There’s Nothing “Natural” About Her!
Pam Anderson posed for Playboy’s January Cover for $25,000 so she could donate the money to help Indonesian disaster victims. But a local Islamic group condemned her, saying that taking the money would be against the law of God because it was obtained through “immoral acts”. The Islamic Defenders Front said, “If she wants to be photographed naked, then she is challenging a bigger disaster to happen in Indonesia.”
- Even though she’s not topless, being on the cover of Playboy is considered immoral. But apparently killing people over religion… that’s okay!
- If Pam causes a natural disaster here in the States it will most likely be in the Silicone Valley.
Quick Notes…
Charlie Sheen has filed for divorce from his wife Brooke Mueller.
- I don’t blame him a bit. I wouldn’t put up with all her antics either!
- I’m sure he’ll find solace in at least one of his 5000 Hooker friends.
Today’s Almanac
On this day in 1952, frozen bread was sold for the first time.
- Before that, people had to actually freeze their own bread before thawing it out!
On A Serious Note…
I, along with all of Purtan’s People, wish only the best for Sparky Anderson! The baseball legend, who is 76, has been placed in the care of hospice for complications from dementia at his California home. Our thoughts and prayers are with Sparky and his family!
- Dick