All That Glitters Is Not The Golden Globes
Tuesday was a big day in Hollywood with the announcement of this year’s Golden Globe nominees. “The King’s Speech” led with 7, followed by “The Social Network” with 6. Critical favs like “127: and the upcoming “True Grit” were surprisingly snubbed, while nominations for “Best Comedy or Musical” went to the widely-panned bombs, “Burlesque” and “The Tourist”, which isn’t a comedy or a musical. Insiders say it proves the Hollywood Foreign Press will nominate any movie if it gets big stars like Christina Aguilera, Cher, Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp to show up for the ceremony.
- If they want big stars to show up, then how come I wasn’t nominated for my eleven second role in Beverly Hills Cop III?
- On the bright side, win or lose, we’ll all get a chance to see Angelina Jolie’s Golden Globes.
- Cher will be there accepting the “Lifetime Plastic Surgery Achievement Award”.
Peter Pan Made It Look So Easy!
Hugh Jackman really took it on the chin during a recent taping of “Oprah” in Australia. Actually, he took it on his whole face. Jackman delighted audiences by sliding 100 yeards on a zipwire from the top of the Syndey Opera House to the stage below. Unfortunately, he hit the brake too late. He crashed into a lighting rig, cut his eye, flipped 90 degrees and hung over the stage for several seconds before landing. Oprah stopped the show while paramedics applied ice to his face. Jackman said, “That was so much fun until the end.”
- Which is exactly what Nancy Pelosi said the day after the mid-term elections.
- Oprah immediately surprised Jackman with lifetime health care coverage, one of her “favorite things”!
- Jackman is famous for playing “Wolverine”… with that kind of athletic ability, maybe we could get him to play for Michigan. (The girls tell me he’s got quite the tight-end).
It’s Just Not “Norm!”-al
Kelsey Grammer’s estranged wife, former Playboy model Camille Dantaccis is reportedly threatening to release kinky sex tapes that the couple made if the “Frasier” star doesn’t cough up big alimony cash.
- So Kelsey Grammer made a kinky sex tape? Isn’t this the kind of thing Frasier Crane warned against on his radio call-in show?
- Kelsey is said to be drowning his sorrows at an unnamed bar in Boston! He said, “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name”.
- Lillith was cold…but this is really cold!
- Speaking of Frasier Crane, didn’t the real Dr. Laura have nude pictures taken of her and released by her boyfriend? And these pseudo and real therapists make a living giving us advice?
“To Bieber or Not To Bieber…”
TMZ.com has confirmed that Canadian officals will not charge 16 year-old Justin Bieber with punching a 12-year-old boy at a laser tag center. The victim allegedly used a homophobic slur on Bieber and attacked him first.
- Source say Bieber threw his hands up and yelled, “Don’t Lase Me Bro!”
- The most serious damage inflicted: Bieber’s hair was temporarily knocked out of place.
- Didn’t the same thing happened recently to Susan Boyle at a Senior Center?
Split-Ends Sexy?
Voted this year’s sexiest man and woman, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson announced that they are divorcing after just two years of marriage.
- It’s said to be very amicable. They’re splitting all the mirrors in the house 50-50.
- So if they’re looking to “trade up”, they better hope Brad and Angelina start having marital problems.
Celebrity Shorts…
Alice Cooper and Neil Diamond will be inducted into the 2011 Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.
- I can’t wait to hear Alice sing to Neil, “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore”!
Today’s Almanac
On this day in 1791, the University of Pennsylvania established the first law school in the U.S.
- The first two students admitted: Isiah Feiger and Jedadiah Bernstein.
Have a great day, stay warm, and I’ll see you right back here tomorrow!
- Dick