Well it’s been three weeks today since I said “goodbye” to radio and “hello” to a good nights sleep. I thought I’d take a minute to fill you in on what I’ve been up to. And fasten your seatbelts… it’s pretty exciting.
Take today for example… This morning I had an orange for breakfast. Navel, I think. Delicious. Then, after finding out that our power and water would be turned off for the next six hours due to a “household repair issue” that, amazingly enough, Gail couldn’t fix – we decided to head out for some real excitement: You guessed it – Costco. After flashing my membership card (with a picture of me that looks like a cross between Groucho Marx and Saddam Hussein) I headed to the vitamin aisle. Who knew Fish Oil pills came in pallets? I guess I just never had the time to notice before.
I casually strolled the aisles, sampling turkey sausage and 67 Grain-Crackers, not caring if I filled up so much I’d have to have a late lunch. (“Late Lunches” used to screw up my nap, but guess what… “I don’t need no stinkin’ nap!)
After packing the car with enough paper towels to clean up the spill from the Exxon Valdez, we headed over to the bookstore. “Maybe I’ll branch out and read a novel”, I thought to myself. “Something different than my usual fare of history books and biographies…”
I checked out, thrilled with my purchase, “Hitler’s Favorite Knock-Knock Jokes”.
At 3:25pm EST I treated myself to a snack – low fat granola with a pomegranate juice chaser. (I know…I’m a wild man).
With the power and water back on, I worked out, took a shower and now – after sending this off – Gail and I are headed out to dinner with our favorite daughter and son-in-law. (Not Jackie) – just kidding. She’s in the top six, I swear.
After dinner… who knows? It’s either “The American Idol Double Elimination Round” I DVRed on Wednesday or a special on Iwo Jima. I’ll decide later.
So as you can see… my life is just as exciting as ever. Speaking of which, I want to leave you with something we used to do every Friday on the show: The Story of The Week.
A 64-year-old British handyman, Peer Aspinall was asked to prune a sycamore tree on the grounds of a hotel in Lancashire. Being a seasoned professional, he leaned his ladder against a branch 14 feet above the ground – and then proceeded to saw off the branch. He was in the hospital for two weeks.
I think I like this story so much because it reminds me of something I can see myself doing. Which is, of course, while Gail has always forbidden me to go near ladders or prune anything.
Have a great weekend… Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. (Which, as you can see, pretty much leaves things wide open)
I miss you all and thanks for your many kind messages! I appreciate them, each and every one.
Talk to you soon,
Dick