The British Press is reporting that Lady Gaga is afraid of ghosts and has hired so-called “Ghostbusters” to clear the area back stage before all of her future performances. She is allegedly terrified of “bad energy”.
- The head of the Local Ghost Union, who goes by the name “Casper”insists all ghosts are friendly. He added, “Lady Gaga has nothing to worry about. We Ghosts are actually afraid of her”.
From Gaga to Godiva…
On yesterday’s date in 1678, Lady Godiva rode naked through Coventry, England to protest high taxes.
- Coincidentally yesterday Lady Gaga rode through Coventry, England on horseback fully clothed. Why? Because she’s weird.
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Superman made his first appearance in the comics on this date in 1938 – meaning he turns 72 today.
- And thanks to Cialis he’s still able to tell Lois Lane, “Up, Up and Away!”
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Chinese scientists have finally figured out why the Great Wall has stood for 600 years. Turns out the mortar holding the bricks together is a mixture of lime and sticky rice flour. It has such a strong microstructure that even after six centuries, weeds can’t grow between the bricks.
- The scientists discovered this by accident… They just picked one item from Column A and one from Column B.
- This my friends is the real “Ancient Chinese Secret”
- Here’s an idea: Why doesn’t BP mix up a batch to try and plug the oil gusher in the Gulf!
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Fergie, the Dutchess of York appears on Oprah today where she will reportedly claim that she was broke and drunk when she was caught on videotape offering to sell access to her ex, Prince Andrew for $700,000. Us Weekly reports that she’s a shopaholic who wants to appear on “Dancing with the Stars”.
- Wait… a shopaholic who wants to be on DWTS. Are they talking about Fergie or Oprah?
- Let’s see… Fergie likes to get drunk, trade cash for influence and spend a lot of money. I say we elect her to Congress.
- I think she’s going on Oprah in the hopes of winning a new car!
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Speaking of celebrities (sort of) reality-show star Heidi Montag and her reality show husband Spencer Pratt have separated. Heidi, who recently underwent 10 plastic surgeries in one day claims that Spencer is “brainwashing” her.
- Which, I believe, is impossible if one doesn’t have a brain.
Reps for the couple say they have no plans to divorce – that this is just a “hiccup” in their relationship.
- If you’ve seen pictures of Heidi’s new implants you know that if she hiccups she could knock herself unconscious.
- Spencer says he’s so commited to making it work, he’s willing to become a whole new guy. Why not? She’s already become a whole new girl.
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The food police at the Center for Science in the Public Interest have just announced their picks for the nine least healthy restaurant items in America. Included on the list: California Pizza Kitchen’s Tostada Pizza with grilled steak (which has the calorie and fat equivalent of a pepperoni pizza with six beef tacos on top) and the Cheesecake Factory’s Chocolate Tower Truffle Cake. Weighing in at ¾ of a lb. it has over 1600 calories and is the equivalent of eating 14 Hostess Ho-Hos.
- Didn’t Tiger Woods date a Hostess Ho-Ho?
- Nutritionists say you’d have to be a “Ding-Dong” to eat this stuff.
- But it’s okay as long as you wash it all down with a Diet pop.