Kwame’s attorney has come up with yet another reason his dishonor should be let out of jail while he awaits sentencing: He says the Kwaminator has seriously re-injured the knee he hurt playing college football and that prison officials won’t give him proper medical treatment. 

- Chances are he re-injured it while down on his knees begging the warden to let him go. 

- Bobby Ferguson explained that Kwame tripped on his way to the commissary to buy the two of them some Ding Dongs.   

- Critics call it a “Knee-Jerk” reaction by his lawyer…since both the “knee” and the “jerk” refer to Kwame. 

***** 

Kilpatrick’s attorney also claimed that Kwame is “an indigent” and has no money or other assets that would allow him to flee. 

- I’m pretty sure the Judge is going to make sure his assets in a jail cell until the big day. 

***** 

A minor league baseball team in Pennsylvania is giving fans something to cheer about: They’re installing a “Urinal Gaming System” in all of their men’s rooms. The custom urinals, made by Captive Media, feature a “pee controlled” video screen. Players control their Avatar by “relieving” themselves in different directions. If you want to go left…you pee to the left and so on. There’s even a “Leader Board” where you can post your score. 

- Nintendo is coming out with a similar system called the Wii-Wii. 

- Kids love video games! They should have this in all the Pee-Wee League restrooms! 

- This gives a whole new meaning to “Streaming Video”. 

- Turns out your iPhone isn’t the only “Hand Held Device” you’ve got in your pocket. 

***** 

A scientist has writen a paper on how he believes dinosaurs mated. 

- The Paper is titled: “Tyranasaurus Sex”. 

- Steven Speilberg is making a movie based on the paper… Look for “No…Those Pants Do Not Make Jur-Assic Look Big” coming to a theater near you. 

***** 

Pope Francis says that he will live in a modest two-room motel-style apartment instead of the Papal Mansion for the indefinite future. 

- So if you’re looking for a nicely appointed palacial rental property for a summer Italian getaway with a great view, contact the Vatican. (No Dogs or Protestants allowed). 

*****

Governor Chris Christie promised that he will keep a “firm grip” on Prince Harry during his upcoming visit to New Jersey. 

- He developed that “firm grip” after years of holding onto thousands of “Triple-Quarter-Pounders with Bacon and Cheese”. 

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

P.S. Don’t forget…Links to all 76 of the Podcasts we’ve done so far are up for your listening pleasure on the homepage right now! Just click here: dickpurtan.com

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