Kwame Kilpatrick is staying in the Hooscow until he’s sentenced. Yesterday, the Judge on his case refused his request to be released because his knee hurts. She also refused to let him out to go see his family in Texas before sentencing day. She didn’t buy his lawyers claim that K has no money and therefore is not a flight risk. 

- Next up: Kwame will admit he has some cash, but claims he’s not a flight risk because his bad knee makes it impossible for him to run. 

- His bad knee isn’t his only “Boo-Boo”…that’s also what his Cell Mate Bubba calls him. 

*****

After several days of testimony from both sides of the Gay Marriage debate, the Supreme Court will now deliberate and make it’s ruling in June. 

- If you see Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia wearing “His & His” robes in the coming weeks…it’ll be a pretty good indicator of how this is gonna turn out. 

- Ever the optomist, Bert already let Ernie put a deposit down on his wedding dress. 

*****

President Obama appointed Julia Pierson as the next director of the Secret Service, making her the first woman to ever hold that position. 

- Apparently she was the only woman in the entire US capable of keeping a secret. (JK ladies!)

*****

The CDC reports that there are over 110 million veneral disease infections in the US…with the majority occurring in College Age kids. 

- It makes sense…it takes years to get a PhD, but only about two minutes to get your STD. 

- The second largest group of infectees: Anyone who’s ever had physical contact with Madonna. 

*****

According to a survey by salary.com, 43% of employees say they waste time on the job by visiting with co-workers. 

- The other 57% waste work time by texting friends who work in other buildings. 

*****

A Pennsylvania man was arrested for hunting deer with a pistol in a Wal-Mart parking lot. 

- He would have gotten away with it if he’d been hunting at Target!

*****

Sean Penn’s 19-year-old son “Hopper” was caught on video violently shoving an African American photographer, telling him “F—- you”, and hurling gay and racial slurs at him. 

- Are they sure he’s not Mel Gibson’s son???

*****

Have a great day and Go Blue and Go Green as Michigan plays Kansas and MSU takes on Duke in the Midwest Regional Semi-Finals in the NCAA tournament tomorrow night! 

-Dick

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