The Tigers are bringing back Jose Valverde. After falling apart at the end of last season, he’s been looking sharp in the minors and is headed back to the D. They say his speed and his change-up pitches are back.

And speaking of change-ups… If Chastity Bono can become Chaz Bono - why can’t Valverde become Verlander?   

BTW… Chaz is showing off a svelte new figure. He announced that the former She had dropped a whopping 60 pounds, going from 250 to 190. 

- He attributes the loss to healthy eating and a dramatic reduction in PMS cravings for ice cream and chocolate. 

***** 

All charges have been dropped against the Elvis Impersonator who was accused of sending poisonous ricin-laced letters to Politicians in D.C. 

- The FBI should have known it wasn’t him from the beginning because none of the letters were marked “Return to Sender”.  

***** 

TV Guide ran a poll asking “What’s the best TV theme song of all time?” The winner? The theme from “Cheers”. 

- The theme from “The Jefferson’s” started out strong, but then it quit “Movin’ On Up” the list. 

***** 

North Korea is reportedly training 11-year-old-soldiers for their army. 

- So now Kim Jong Un not only has children to command, but also to have playdates with! 

***** 

Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were seen having dinner together last Sunday in Beverly Hills. 

- They reportedly got into an argument, but luckily Yoko Ono was there to break it up. 

- Their waiter lamented that in lieu of a tip, “All I’ve got is a photograph”. 

***** 

Some toddlers in England have become so addicted to their iPads that they need therapy. 

- Remember the good old days when you got excited when your toddler said “iPoop”?

- Luckily, there are therapists available online 24/7. 

***** 

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday! Plus an all-new Podcast Friday - Honest!!!!!

-Dick

 

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