After 37 months in the slammer at the so-called “Camp Cupcake”, former Detroit Congresswoman Monica Conyers is back on the streets and working full time at a collision shop here in Detroit. She says she’s very happy.
- Her actual quote was, “I’m so #!@% *(%@ F—- happy to be out of that *%^# jail!”
- A collision shop is perfect for Monica! She’s really good at fixing things…like city contracts.
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A noticeably heavier O.J. Simpson took the stand yesterday in an effort to get a new trial in his armed robbery and kidnapping conviction in 2008.
- He denied gaining weight and is publishing a new book called “If I Ate It”.
- Simpson looked so old, he’s now being referred to as “O.J. Mixed With Metamucil”.
- With all of the scandals it Washington, O.J. actually came off as believeable.
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A CPR machine brought a man who was clinically dead for 40 minutes back to life.
- The machine will next be used to try to revive the Obama Administration.
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Ohio University evolutionary researchers say they’ve identified the point at which monkey’s split from apes.
- It was the day Davy Jones was hired as the Monkees’ lead singer.
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A Florida chiropractor is accused of forcing his employees to engage in Scientology practices such as yelling at ashtrays.
- The chiropractor was accusing the cigarette butts in the ashtray of being out of alignment…which could could turn out to be the smoking gun.
- So now we know what Tom Cruise does when he’s not jumping up and down on couches.
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Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple turns 9-years-old this week.
- She will now be known as “Apple 9.0”
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An obsessed fan was charged with trespassing after he allegedly swam to Taylor Swift’s beach house in Rhode Island.
- Taylor has decided that instead of pressing charges, she’ll date him for a while, break-up with him and then write a hit song about it.
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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an All New Podcast!
-Dick