It's April 15th... Deadline Day for filing your federal income taxes. 

- And if you're like me...you have every confidence that Congress will spend your money wisely!

*****

In clip from his upcoming interview with Diane Sawyer about his sex change, Bruce Jenner said "My whole life has been getting me ready for this". 

- And now that he's a woman, it takes him 3 hours to get ready for interviews. 

*****

Royal Caribbean has two ships at sea right now with passengers experiencing gastrointestinal illnesses. 

- On the bright side, the line at the Midnight Buffet is a lot shorter than usual. 

- To try and contain the illness, all of the sick passengers have been moved to the Poop Deck. 

*****

Hillary Clinton confirmed that she named 35 year old Robby Mook as her campaign chief, making him the first openly gay manager of a US presidential campaign. 

- His strategy to get votes? Accessorize!

*****

A new study found that 58% of American students are not proficient enough in Grammar. 

- For example, most of the students believe "Grammar" is the old lady married to their "Gramper". 

*****

65 year old Billy Joel and his 33 year old girlfriend have confirmed that they have a baby on the way. 

- She wants a boy... But Billy wants an Uptown Girl. 

- A baby at 65??? He must be going out of his tree. Or driving his car into one... 

*****

The FDA is monitoring a program that prescribes medicinal marijuana to dogs. 

- And you thought Rover could jump high to catch that Frisbee now!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick