Former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was convicted of murder and was sentenced to life without parole. 

- Luckily, getting patted on the butt during all those huddles has prepared him for the slammer. 

*****

Paula Deen announced that her new restaurant in Tennessee will open on April 27th. 

- And the first 25 customers get a free Egg White Omelet! 

*****

A female CEO in Texas, Cheryl Rios, it taking fire for claiming that a woman should not be President of the US because her hormones would  make it impossible for her to start a war. 

- But she did admit that a female President would be tough at the negociating table...for a few days every month. 

*****

Doctors in London say that Julius Caesar may have suffered a series of mini-strokes that left him angry later in life. 

- He was particularly angry about that whole being assassinated thing. 

*****

Kim Kardashian's book of "selfies" hits book stores at the end of the week. 

- I've already reserved my copy at "Butts and Noble". 

*****

Brian Williams was seen around New York City walking his dog. 

- He claimed he used a pooper-scooper, but even his dog said it wasn't true. 

*****

A Montana man was arrested after his girlfriend found him "romancing" their pet Husky. 

- Apparently this guys thinks dogs are "Man's Best Friend...With Benefits". 

- He claims he was just trying to prove that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick