Yesterday, President Obama granted clemency to 231 Federal Prison Inmates... the most ever by a US President in a single day... but Kwame Kilpatrick wasn't one of them. 

- On the bright side, this means Kwame can continue his role in the Prison's "Living Nativity Scene". He plays the Ass standing next to the Ox. 

*****

Donald Trump officially became the President-Elect of the U.S. when he was certified by the Electoral College yesterday. 

- Unlike most guys leaving College, instead of moving into his parent's basement, he's moving into the White House. 

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Michelle Obama told Oprah she wouldn't rule out a run for the Presidency. 

- It would mark the first time in U.S. history that a woman has come close to becoming President... correction, it would be the first time a woman who wears Skirts could make it all the way to the Oval Office. 

*****

Speaking of "Skirts"... Bill Clinton says that Donald Trump's only talent is "getting Angry White Men to vote for him".

- I can think of one Angry White Man who didn't vote for Trump... Bill Clinton. 

*****

Scientists claim that humans aren't the only ones who "go gray" due to stress... They say the same thing happens to dogs who lead stressful lives. 

- The Makers of "Just For Men" hair coloring immediately introduced "Just For Shitzu's". 

*****

A U.S. Marshall pulled a gun on a McDonald's employee who was taking too long to bring his Filet-o-Fish. 

- The quick thinking employee escaped injury by kneeing the Marshall in his McNuggets. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick