According to a new survey, only ONE IN TEN Millennials manage to clean their bathroom at least once a month.

- The other 9 expect their Mom do it since it’s HER house anyway.

*****

Two Florida psychics were charged with fraud and forced to pay back $1.4 Million they bilked from their victims.

- Wow. You gotta have Crystal Balls to take advantage of people like that.

*****

Special Forces Captured a 560-pound ISIS terrorist on Friday who had to be hauled away on a flat bed truck.

- The Navy Seals captured him at Baghdad’s “Eat ‘Til You Explode” Buffet.

- He was captured once before but escaped after stabbing a Guard with a Lamb Shank.

*****

Pope Francis has appointed a woman to a Senior Vatican position.

- He made the announcement by releasing smoke from a Camomile, Lavender & Vanilla Bean Yankee Candle out of the chimney in the Sistine Chapel.

*****

Amazon is developing new terminals that will link your credit card information to your palm print so you can pay for groceries by waving your hand at checkout. 

- But there’s still a good chance you’ll get stuck behind the lady who pulls out her checkbook AFTER everything has been bagged then spends ten minutes filling out the ledger.

- They got the idea from watching Harry and Meghan waving their Royal Future goodbye.

*****

A deaf man is suing “PornHub” because their site doesn’t include close captioning or any other means of getting the dialogue. 

- I’m thinking this guy is the only man in history who actually DID just read Playboy for the articles.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick