President Trump will do a Town Hall Meeting on NBC Tonight while Joe Biden is doing a separate one on ABC.

- I haven’t been this torn about what to watch since “Judge Judy” was on opposite “The Maury Povich Show”.

*****

Hormel Foods announced the launch of "Breathable Bacon”… A Bacon scented Face Mask.

- And I always said they’d NEVER come up with a Bacon scented mask. Now I’ve got Egg on my face.

*****

A Travelocity survey found that most Americans WON’T visit their relatives on Thanksgiving this year.

- Experts say it’s because of three things: The Pandemic, the Election Results and the fact that their Relatives are really Annoying.

*****

“The Bachelorette” Clare Crawley says she’s confident she’ll find a husband THIS time, despite the fact that she didn’t find love on “The Bachelor,” or “Bachelor in Paradise,” or “Bachelor in Paradise” again, or “The Bachelor Winter Games.”

- I must confess I haven’t seen any of the shows so I don’t know what she looks like. But I hear she’s got “a great personality”.

*****

New York’s hottest sex club is throwing an exclusive “Black Death” themed Halloween party.

- So people in New York can go to a “Sex Club”, but here in Michigan you have to wear a mask to go BOWLING???

*****

Right before she and Harry “Quit” the Royal Family to pursue “Privacy”, Meghan Markle reportedly told her advisors she wanted to be “The Most Famous Person in the World”. 

- And here I thought she was trying to be “The Most Annoying Person in the World”. 

*****

Researchers say that men with deeper voices are more likely to cheat on their partners.

- You mean Barry White was LYING when he said “You’re My First, My Last… My Everything”??

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick