The Commission on Presidential Debates will “Mute” Trump’s & Biden’s mics during the 2-minute response times during Thursday’s debate.

- Biden said he’s okay with it and the Prez said he’ll just talk louder.

*****

Biden says he’s taking 4 days off from campaigning… a move his campaign director said is because he’s so far ahead in the polls they don’t want risk any mistakes like talking about his son Hunter’s Ukraine-China email $$$ scandal.

- That… and Joe made an appointment to get cable hooked up in his basement and Comcast said they’ll be there sometime between 8 and 5 on Thursday.

*****

CNN’s star legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended because he was caught “pleasuring himself” during a ZOOM call with colleagues!!!

- And all this time I thought the whole “No pants on a Zoom call” thing was just a rumor.

CNN isn’t reporting any details, saying that Toobin has asked for some time off to deal with a “Personal Issue”.

- Well it doesn’t get much more “Personal” than that.

*****

Even O.J. Simpson commented on the Toobin story saying “At least Pee-wee Herman was in an X-rated movie THEATER”.

- How pathetic is it when even OJ SIMPSON calls you an idiot??

*****

A 2000 year old 40-Yard long figure of a relaxing cat has been found carved into a hillside in Peru.

- Archeologists are going to study it… but FIRST they’re going to change the 80-Yard long Litter Box carved into the the other side of the hill.

*****

NASA is launching a 4G phone network on the moon that will allow astronauts to make calls and text from space.

- Finally! Someone can text “I Love You to the Moon and Back” and actually PROVE it.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick