Governor Whitmer has issued a “Shelter in Place” order effective immediately and is is asking everyone to “Stay home and stay safe”.

Okay… Everybody click your heels together now and repeat along with me… “THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME! THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME! THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!”

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If you’re looking for something to do, why not calculate how long your supply of Toilet Paper will last?? A new website, Howmuchtoiletpaper.com lets you enter how much you’ve got, how often you go, and how much you use to determine how many days your rolls will last…

- … Before you wipe out your supply.

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Joe Biden says he’s going to be giving his own updates on the Coronavirus after techs “Put in a new high-speed line into my home… they converted a recreation room, basically, into a television studio. So beginning tomorrow, I guess tomorrow, I'm making the first presentation.”

- Joe says you can watch his updates on “The Facebook” and “InstaGramp”.

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The NYC Health Department released a memo urging people to have “Solo Sex” during the coronavirus, saying “YOU are your safest sex partner”.

- For those of you who don’t know what “Solo Sex” is… they want you to play Solitaire!!!

They added that “This is NOT the time to have Orgies”.

- Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but when exactly IS the time to have Orgies??

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Music legend Neil Diamond posted a video of him singing "Sweet Caroline," except it had a few updated lyrics more fitting amid the coronavirus outbreak. He sang "Hands... washing hands... reaching out... don't touch me... I won't touch you!”.

- Coming soon: The Oak Ridge Boys with “El-Virus”, Petula Clark’s new single “Don’t Sneeze In the Subway Darlin” and Johnny Rivers with “I’ve Got the Rockin Pneumonia and the Coronavirus Too”.

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RIP… Kenny Rogers who passed away from natural causes at the age of 81.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick