Bill Cosby’s lawyers have filed a petition to get him released from Prison due to concerns over the Coronavirus.

- Lucky for Bill, if he does get sick he can just drink one of his “Special Cocktails” and by the time he wakes up, the whole thing will be a blur.

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Officials in Italy say that “business” is way down for members of Organized Crime.

- Making this the first time in history the Mafia is Taking a Hit instead of Ordering one!!

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Joe Biden is at it again… During a Skyped appearance on “The View” he was asked if he agreed with Trump saying that shutting down the nations economy could make “The cure worse than the problem itself”. Joe said, “We have to take care of the Cure. That will make the problem worse no matter what. No matter what”.

- Joe’s about one gaffe away from getting his own Two-Hour Special on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”.

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Squad Member Ilhan Omar is calling for all U.S. Citizens to be given a Pre-loaded debit card worth $2000 - and to cover the cost, she proposed the U.S. Treasury mint two 1 Trillion Dollar Coins. (TRUE!)

- Why not just have the Government put an ATM in all of our homes???

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Jennifer Aniston is among the ladies in Hollywood who are paying to have their Hollywood Hairdressers send them “At Home Touch Up Coloring Kits” to help them get through while Salon’s are closed.

- Wasn’t there a Mini-Series about a hair color shortage back in the 70’s? I think it was called “Roots”.

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Caitlyn Jenner said she is spending her time in Self-Quarantine cleaning out her closets.

- She says she’s getting rid of all kinds of junk she doesn’t need anymore. Ya know, like Boxer Shorts and Jock Straps.

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A Rabbi, A Minister and a Priest walk into a bar…

Just kidding. The bars are closed.

SONG OF THE DAY…

Huey Lewis and the News: “The Heart of Rock and Toilet-Paper-Roll”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick