Three members of the Minneapolis City Council have charged the city $152,000 for a personal SECURITY DETAIL after they received threats when they called to “Defund the Police”.

- Yup.

*****

The internet is burning up with pics of what Oceanographers say is a “Triggerfish” - a fish that lives near Malaysia and has Human teeth.

- Since the fish has no hands to brush or floss, does it end up with Fin-givitis??

- I thought for a moment it was Joy Behar.

*****

First they thought it was bats… then dogs… but a new COVID-19 Researcher claims pets AREN’T responsible for spreading the Virus.

- This is the first time in history a man DIDN’T “Blame the Dog”.

*****

A group of grocery shoppers are boycotting Whole Foods because of its refusal to let employees wear “Black Lives Matter” masks.

- The group spokesmen said they’d rather take their $20 and buy a head of lettuce somewhere else.

*****

Los Angeles announced that ALL SCHOOLS will be closed to in-person learning this fall.

- Poor Lori Laughlin! Now she has to shell out another half-mil to make sure her daughter gets into a good Home School.

*****

For $250 you get now get a futuristic-looking “Hazmet Suit for Air Travel” which looks like the top half of an astronaut’s uniform, has anti-fogging “windows” and a built-in hospital-grade air-purifying device.

- But you still CAN’T bring more than 3.4 ounces of shampoo in your carry on.

*****

The Icelandic Board of Tourism is offering to let people frustrated by Lockdowns record themselves screaming - and then playing the screams on giant loud speakers in remote parts of the country.

- Thus the expression, “I Scream… You Scream… We All Scream… For Ice……………… Land”.

*****

Speaking of Screaming… Alec Baldwin is selling his West Village Penthouse in New York City for $11 million dollars.

- It has Five Bedrooms and Six Bathrooms… but you have to get into a fist fight with Alex on the sidewalk if you want a parking spot.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick