The President and First Lady welcomed a new German Shepherd puppy to the Family.

- The Prez thanked the American people for their “Outpouring of well-wishes”… and smacked the puppy on the nose with a newspaper for his “Outpouring” all over the Oval Office carpet.

*****

A new report claims "Mrs. Claus" has become a popular character in X-Rated movies.

- Consider yourself lucky that all you saw was your Mommy KISSING Santa Claus.

*****

According to a recent survey, 7 in 10 Americans don’t know that the movies “Die Hard” and “Mean Girls” are actually based on books.

- For those of you who would like to read the original books - “Die Hard” tells the story of a Car Battery… and “Mean Girls” is a behind-the-scenes-look at the Ladies of “The View”.

*****

A Missouri man with a white beard and Santa hat was arrested for robbing a credit union.

- Police are still looking for his accomplice who they describe as “Aprroximately 3 1/2 feet tall, wearing a green hat and pointy shoes”.

*****

On this day in 1997 - 3 years after the famous attack that Tonya Harding orchestrated on Nancy Kerrigan’s knee down at Cobo Hall - Nancy & Tonya pre-recorded a TV show to air on FOX.

- Tonya, of course is the one who Colin Kaepernick credits with giving him the idea of “Taking a Knee”.

- Tonya was so much smarter than Jussie Smolett! At least she had the sense to hire someone to beat up NANCY’s, not HER OWN KNEE. Jussie paid two guys to beat HIMSELF up. What a moron!!

*****

A Chinese woman believed to be “The World’s Oldest Person EVER” has died suddenly at the age of 135.

- Suddenly??

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick