Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Before that ginormous Chinese Rocket fell into the Indian Ocean this weekend, and everyone was worried about where it would land, my good buddy and former “Purtan’s Person” Joe Noune sent me this email describing a conversation he had with someone in his neighborhood…

“A female neighbor in my condo complex told me she was afraid that the Chinese rocket scheduled to come down this evening may end up landing in her parking space thus destroying her car. So she moved her car over 2 parking spaces. I told her, "Good thinking. Great Move! But you should know that the rocket is pretty good sized so you should have moved your car at least 4 parking spaces away." So she did”.

Turned out to be a smart decision… because it landed a mere 9000 Miles away in the Indian Ocean. Talk about a near-miss!

You gotta love Joe!

*****

Following a cyberattack believed to be orchestrated by a Russia-based criminal group which closed the 5,500 mile Colonial Pipeline, more than one thousand gas stations on the east coast have run out of gas.

- So if you want to top off your gas… you’ll have to go to Taco Bell.

*****

Oceanographers say they have no idea how a Pacific Football Fish - with teeth as sharp as glass and a body shaped like a football washed ashore on a California beach last week - as the species lives miles below the surface of the Pacific.

- The WH immediately announced that Prez. Biden has put VP Harris in charge of “Getting to the root cause of why bizarre fish Migrate to the US”.

*****

A new survey reveals that Americans are turning to salads “more than ever” to avoid packing on the dreaded Pandemic Pounds.

- Americans are desperate to lose weight… and salads are just the tip of the Iceberg.

*****

The survey of 2,000 Americans finds 73% have been dedicating themselves to better daily routines over the past year, which includes healthy habits like getting more quality sleep, eating healthier foods, and working out more often.

- THEN WHY DO WE NEED TO EAT SALADS??

*****

Elon Musk’s girlfriend was so anxious about his hosting gig on SNL - that she suffered a Panic Attack and had to be taken to the hospital TWO DAYS AFTER his appearance.

- Let me get this straight… She’s okay with the whole “Going to Mars” thing… but the TV thing caused her to panic?

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick