It’s National Visit Your Relatives Day! It’s also National Stress Awareness Day.

- COINCIDENCE?? I don’t think so!!!

*****

Goop blasted a lawsuit filed against its vagina-scented candle as “frivolous.”

The Gwyneth Paltrow-founded lifestyle company responded to a lawsuit filed by a Texas resident named Colby Watson who claims the candle exploded after burning it for the first time for “an estimated three hours or less.”

*****

The MTV Movie Awards turned on Ellen DeGeneres during their “In Memoriam” segment when they put up a pic of Ellen with the caption, “Ellen’s Reign of Terror - 2003-2021”.

- But on a bright note, she was named “Miss Congeniality” by members of the Alec Baldwin Street Fighters Fan Club.

*****

Jeffrey Epstein reportedly gave advice to Bill Gates about ending his marriage with his now-estranged wife, Melinda, during meetings the two had at the pedophile’s townhouse in Manhattan.

- Did you ever wonder how all these famous, big name rich guys ended up picking JEFFREY EPSTEIN as their Personal Life Coach??

- I’m sure Jeffrey is smiling up from Hell knowing that Bill took his advice.

*****

At a Gender Reveal Party, when a father-to-be found out his wife was having a Girl, he had a fit and threw all the party decorations on the ground.

- Well I know SOMEONE who’s not getting invited to the Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance in 2037.

*****

Last night, NY Mets outfielder Kevin Pillar took a 94 mph pitch directly to his face during a game against the Braves… leaving him with a fractured nose.

- There hasn’t been this much talk about a guys nose since Hunter Biden went on Spring Break.

*****

ChicK-Fil-A is reportedly running out of its famous dipping sauces and is now limiting customers to one packet per order.

- Personally, I think whoever came up with the concept for the way they Operate their restaurants, Season and Cook their Chicken and Run their Drive-Thrus - should have run for, and been elected, President! Amazing.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick