Three years ago today… Our long, national nightmare began... when Harry and Meghan tied the knot. So Happy Anniversary to you two crazy, publicity loving kids! Today’s your day!! (just like every other day).

- If you want to get them a gift, they’re registered at Bed, Wrath of Meghan, & Beyond.

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Meanwhile… there’s Baby News out of Britain that is raising eyebrows. Stick with me on this… This morning Princess Beatrice (Prince Andrew and Fergie’s daughter) announced that she and her husband Eduardo are expecting their first child. Royal insiders say they purposely timed the announcement to coincide with Harry and Meghans’ Anniversary because Harry and Meghan stole Beatrice’s sister Eugenie and her husband Jack’s thunder on Eugenie’s wedding day in 2018 by announcing that Meghan was pregnant with their first baby, Archie.

- You got that? Me either. And I even had Jackie explain it to me.

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According to an expose in the Atlantic Magazine, VP Kamala Harris keeps a Nixon-like list of Reporters that she doesn’t like because they’ve called her “Aloof and Inaccessible”.

- Reporters couldn’t get her to comment because… you know… she’s Aloof and Inaccessible.

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A recent study found some Mammals are able to “Breathe through their bottoms” and that humans may one day have the ability.

- If this happens and Kim Kardashian ever hyperventilates… we’re all gonna suffocate.

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Cops in Lehigh Acres, Florida reported that a large alligator was seen chasing a man through a Wendy’s parking lot.

- So THAT’s where the beef is.

Speaking of “Where’s the Beef”… I tried to eat healthy in a restaurant the other day and ordered one of those meatless, plant-based burgers. I almost lost my lunch. There isn’t enough ketchup or mustard in the world to make that taste like anything but an old pizza box. When the waitress asked if everything was okay, I said, “Not really”. She asked me if I wanted something else instead and I said, “PLEASE!” I went with a plain old chicken sandwich. It was delicious!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick