Economic numbers released this morning show that Inflation ballooned by 8.5% in March, the fastest rise since January 1982.

- That’s the fastest inflation since Pamela Anderson got her first boob job.

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On Monday’s episode of “The View”, Joy Behar announced that - because she’s off filming a movie - Whoopi Goldberg will be “Missing” from the show for a while.

- It’s an Easter MIRACLE!!!

- Hey… why don’t put our heads together and write a movie script that JOY can be in… so she’ll be “Missing from the show for a while too! Say a remake of “The Taming of the Shrew”?? Just a suggestion…

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According to a new survey, 7 in 10 Dog owners claim they can read their furry companion’s minds.

- I don’t mean to be a naysayer, but you don’t have to be “The Amazing Kreskin” to figure out that incessant barking and clawing at the backdoor means “I have to pee”.

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The study also found that most dog owners believe they know their pets so well that a majority consider calling their canines “Mini-Me”.

- And if you’ve a man whose lost a lot of hair and your wife has started calling you “Mr. Bigglesworth”… it’s probably because she thinks you look like Dr. Evil’s hairless cat.

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New research found that mushrooms can communicate to each other using WORDS.

- Turns out mushrooms even SWEAR… with their favorite expletive being “Shiitake”.

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Kim Kardashian says that her soon-to-be-ex-husband Kanye West wanted to give up his singing career to become…. her full time Fashion Stylist.

- You know what they say, “Behind every great woman… is a great behind”. That has nothing to do with the story… it’s just what they say.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick