It’s “Thomas Jefferson Day”! For most of us, it’s the day we celebrate one of the greatest minds in American History… the man who wrote the Declaration of Independence. And for those suffering from “Wokeness”… it’s another great day to tear down a statue.

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Authorities in Spain are investigating a business man who was found in possession of a 1,000-piece black-market Taxidermy collection.

- For those of you who don’t know what “Taxidermy” is… It’s when you take a taxi to an appointment with your dermatologist.

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While he was giving a speech on Infrastructure in Iowa yesterday, a bird pooped on President Biden’s suit coat.

- Well, as they say, S*** happens.

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At a rally in North Carolina, Donald Trump suggested that he is “Perhaps the most honest human being” ever created.

- NOTE FROM JACKIE: Obviously “The Donald” has never met my ex-husband.

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Sweden will reportedly apply for NATO membership today in a move set to infuriate Vladimir Putin by expanding the US-backed security alliance's presence on Russia's borders.

- Vlad’s already mad at Sweden because he can’t figure out how to put together a bunch of tanks he bought at IKEA.

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RIP… Gilbert Gottfried… rough-voiced Comedian, “Aladdin” star, and one time voice of the AFFLAC Duck has died after a long battle with a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy at 67.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick