According to new Registration Stats, for the first time in 31 years, the Labrador Retriever has been unseated as the most popular dog breed in America… The new Top Dog in the U.S.? The French Bull Dog.
- But no worries… If history has taught us anything, the French Bull Dog will surrender the title, and Labs will be back in the Drivers Seat by next week.
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Whoopi Goldberg issues public apology for using the racially charged (??) word “Gypped” while slamming Trump about Stormy Daniels on “The View” yesterday. She said she should have used the word “Cheated” instead of “Gypped” which is considered a slur against Romanian Gypsies.
- And I’m sure that comes as a great relief to the MILLIONS of Romanian Gypsies who watch “The View”.
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Speaking of Whoopi… After her fellow co-hosts and audience members heard an unusual noise coming from Whoopi’s chair while she was chatting during the show, Whoopi looked into the camera and said, “That was Gas”.
- Well they don’t call her “Whoopi” for nothin’.
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PETA - the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals - has asked Jill Biden to consider replacing the real chicken eggs used at the annual Easter Egg Roll with “reusable plastic or wooden eggs” so as not to prop up the “cruel egg industry”.
- This is NOT gonna go Over Easy with Egg lovers.
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According to a new study, Great Apes like Gorillas get themselves “High” by spinning around until they're dizzy. Researchers say they’re hoping this could provide new insight into why humans seek out mild-altering drugs like like booze and cocaine.
- I knew a Gorilla with a drinking problem. Took him forever to get that monkey off his back. (Ba-da-boom!)
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A new survey reveals that 1 in 4 adults plans to wager on the NCAA tournament during “March Madness” to the tune of $15.5 BILLION.
- But not worries… If you hedge your bets and lose, they’re a good chance you’ll get a government Bail Out!
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Students in a Health Class at an Oregon High School were asked to write a short “Fantasy Sex Story” for class credit. The story couldn’t include anything that might subject them to a Sexually Transmitted Disease but had to incorporate three things like massage oil, feathers, or sex toys.
- When I was in high school, thought it was risqué when I got to make an ashtray out of plywood in Shop.
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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!
-Dick