According the Wall Street Journal, even if former Prez Trump is indicted and arrested this week… he most likely won’t be placed in handcuffs.

- Unlike how Stormy Daniels likes to spend her free time.

*****

- Whoopi Goldberg debuted a new look on "The View" Monday... when she appeared without glasses for the first time in 28 years. She announced she'd had surgery for Presbyopia which makes it hard to see up close - but her eyes are now "fixed".

- And after taking one look at Joy Behar, she asked if there's anyway she can have the surgery "Undone".

*****

The latest Beauty trend is the “Everything Shower” where people - mostly ladies - spend UP TO ONE HOUR in the shower using special shampoos, conditioners, scalp treatments, exfoliators, serums, oils and lotions.

- If I spend an hour in hour in the shower all I end up with is a lot of wrinkles. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what we’re all trying to avoid???

- And whose Hot water tank lasts for an HOUR??? I don’t care how much “Conditioner” you use… Shrinkage is Shrinkage!!

*****

Ozzy Osbourne - who infamously once bit the head off a bat on stage - said he’s now a big fan of bats and birds and animals - and - at age 74 - “Doesn’t want to hurt anything anymore”.

- Put another way… Turns out, the Batman loves Robins!

*****

After a week of drunken brawls and shootings, the mayor of Miami Beach, Florida wants to “Cancel” Spring Break in his city. He says even an unprecentdented police force couldn’t prevent the violence saying, “We don’t want Spring Break in our City”.

- He recommends that College kids looking for a good time head somewhere more suitable to their vibe… like say Mexico.

*****

According to new research, elite European soccer players are more likely than the average person to develop dementia.

- Like the Soccer players themselves, the Doctors really used their heads to figure that one out.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick