A new poll reveals that Seasonal Allergies have prevented 49% of respondents from spending time outdoors within the past year.

- Speaking of Seasonal Allergies… It’s May 1st! time to pull out all of my Pollen Decorations!!

- I don’t have the Best Allege Decorations in the neighborhood… but they’re nothing to Sneeze at, either!

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Beginning July 6th, all new cars and trucks sold within the European Union and Northern Ireland will be required to have technology to let drivers know they are speeding.

- That’s right, starting July 6th… Everybody gets a Wife!

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A new study claims that beverage giants Coke and Pepsi are driving the worldwide plastic crisis… with 8 MILLION TONS of Plastic ending up in the Oceans every year.

- And that’s just when Pam Anderson and Cher go swimming off the coast of Malibu.

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While celebrating 39 years of Sobriety, Alec Baldwin, admitted that he was addicted to cocaine and snorted the drug “all day long” for a two year stretch back in the 1980s. He said, “Cocaine was like coffee back then” joking that he’d snorted a line of coke “Long enough to stretch from the Earth to Saturn and back again”.

- Good thing Alec got over his drug habit. I heard doing Coke can really make you fly off the handle.

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Surprise! Early this morning, President Biden announced that he’s cancelling another $6 billion in student loans for 317,000 Americans… bringing total handouts to more than $160 billion. This batch of “Loan Forgiveness” goes to students who were “Scammed by Art Schools” into thinking their degrees would lead to high paying careers.

- Wait… So now we’re gonna pay back loans for people stupid enough to think a DEGREE IN ART HISTORY was going to be LUCRATIVE??

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Hunter Biden’s attorneys are threatening to sue Fox News over its usage of naked photos of him doing drugs with hookers from his infamous laptop - claiming the pics are “private”.

- Wait a minute! The pictures are PRIVATE?? I thought they were RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION?!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick