Billionaire investor Warren Buffet told CNBC he has no interest in having a smartphone and is sticking with his low-tech flip-phone. 

- So basically I'm the same person as Warren Buffet... except for the "Billionaire investor" part. 

*****

The author of the new book "Fire & Fury" claims that Donald and Melania are the first Presidential couple to sleep in separate bedrooms since John and Jackie Kennedy.

- Three words: Bill and Hillary.

*****

Harvey Weinstein and his wife Georgina have filed for divorce. 

- Why? Did he do something to upset her??

*****

Immigration agents raided one hundred 7-Eleven stores around the country in an effort to crack down on illegal hiring. 

- 21 illegal workers were apprehended. Along with three hot dogs which have been "on the roller" since 2008.

*****

Jay Leno says that Trump has made late nite TV "depressing" and that it was more fun to make jokes about "Bush being dumb and Clinton being horny". 

- I thought according to a lot of people, Trump is BOTH. 

*****

The married stars of "My 600 Pound Life", 714 lb. Lee Sutton and his 542 lb. wife Rena Kiser announced that they'd lost enough weight so they had sex for the first time.

- Or at least they THINK they did.  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick