Hillary Clinton celebrated her 72nd birthday over the weekend.

- Wow. She doesn’t look a DAY over the election.

*****

Jeff Bezos - who is worth $110 BILLION - is being called a “FASHION INFLUENCER” after bathing suits similar to the $280 Octopus print trunks he wore on vacation almost sold out on… yes… Amazon.

- I haven’t got Bezos’ money… but at least I’ve got all of my hair.

- I swim three times a week and my bathing suit isn’t Octopus print… but it does have Flamingos all over it. (True) My girls tell me I’m an “UNFASHIONABLE NON-INFLUENCER”.

*****

United Airlines is set to unveil a new Star Wars themed Boeing 737 which will be painted with scenes from the movie, play Star Wars music as passengers board and offer galactic goodie bags.

- The best part is when the Captain comes on the loudspeaker and announces, “Luke… I am your Pilot”.

*****

Thousands of people have signed a petition to shut down an Extreme Haunted House in Tennessee that tortures its visitors and features terrifying creatures.

- What’s the big deal? “The View” does that EVERYDAY.

*****

The World’s Oldest Woman, Tanzilya Bisembeyeva who credited “optimism and fermented milk” for her longevity has died at age 123.

- Apparently “fermented milk” isn’t quite as good for you as she thought.

*****

Another woman in China became the “World’s Oldest New Mother” Monday when she gave birth at age 67.

- The baby has her nose… and her husbands bladder control issues.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick