The National Guard now has troops surrounding the White House 24-hours a day.

- Apparently they’re afraid looters could get to Prez Trump’s supply of Orange Hair Dye.

*****

The College Board is skipping plans to conduct a home version of the SAT Test because some students don’t have access to the “necessary technology”.

- I skipped the SAT’s because my brain didn’t have access to the “necessary knowledge”.

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A British historian says the Pandemic is teaching people to be less selfish and more open to spending their lives helping others.

- It’s true! I just saw a guy on the news helping another guy carry an 85” TV out of an appliance store that was on fire!

*****

A Swedish study found that antidepressant drugs can lead to violent behavior.

- On a bright note, if you get arrested for a violent crime, you’ll feel pretty good about it.

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A Massachusetts man was busted for striking a highway worker with a giant pickle.

- Sounds like Anthony Weiner is out and about again.

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The movie “Mission Impossible 7” starring Tom Cruise is set to begin filming in September.

- In this one, the Impossible Mission is making Tom look tall enough to ride the roller coaster at Cedar Point.

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Former “James Bond Girl” Britt Ekland says the era of super-hot Bond Girls is over because producers want to be more politically correct.

- I can’t wait to see Caitlyn Jenner in “The Woman With the Golden Gun… In Her Pants”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick