President Trump is calling for himself and Joe Biden to take Drug Tests before their debates to make sure neither one of their performances is being “enhanced”.

- Why not just ask their wives?

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In an attempt to disprove rumors that NK leader Kim Jong Un is deceased, the state media released pictures of Kim they claim are from this Tuesday.

- They posted the pics on BadHairCut&ReallyFatFaceBook.

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Some fans are less than thrilled with the trailer for the new Batman movie which features the Super Hero with long, flowing hair and black eyeliner.

- Sounds to me like Batman now identifies more as “Wonder Woman”.

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A 2nd pool boy has come forward to say he had a sexual relationship with Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife.

- But Falwell says they were all in a hotel pool and it was “Just a game of Marco Polo that got out of hand”.

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The Warsaw Zoo announced that it will start giving it’s Elephants medical marijuana in an attempt to reduce their Stress Levels.

- Apparently the Elephants are stressed about getting pulled over and having the Cops find Pot in their Trunk. (Bada Boom!)

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Governor Whitmer went on TV this week to say that during the Pandemic, she “Won’t be Bullied” into re-opening Bowling Alleys like most other states.

- Hey Gov… Spare me. This makes no sense! If ANYBODY can ward off germs, it’s people who spend time WEARING OTHER PEOPLE’S SHOES.

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A Florida woman was arrested for assaulting her father because of his flatulence.

- In his defense, her Dad said they’d been arguing and she reacted badly when he tried to turn the other cheek.

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Happy Birthday to Macauley Culkin who TURNED 40 yesterday. It won’t be too long before he’ll be staring in the new movie “Assisted Living Home Alone”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick