U.S. News & World Report released it’s annual rankings of “Top 10 Countries in the World” based on Quality of Life and Social Purpose and the winner is….. CANADA.

- Upon hearing the news, proud Canadians took to the streets shouting, “We’re #1, Eh?! We’re #1, Eh?!”

The US came in sixth on the list behind Japan, Germany, Switzerland and Australia.

- “We’re #6! We’re #6!”

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Meanwhile, new federal data show that sexually transmitted diseases have reached an all-time high in the U.S. for the sixth consecutive year.

- They attribute the increase to COVID lockdowns and Madonna being back on the market.

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Nike announced that they’ll begin selling “Used Shoes” under the name Nike Refurbished… that will offer “Gently Used” sneakers for a discounted price.

- What’s next…. “Gently Used” underwear??

- They have “Previously Enjoyed” watches, cars and jewelry… Why not “Previously Enjoyed” Underpants??

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Chinese officials have launched what they say is the world’s first traffic light for Camels.

- Not surprising that this story came out today… Wednesday IS Hump Day! (Ancient Chinese Joke!)

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Hasbro is now selling a Voice-Activated Robot that “Talks, Punches and Drives” for $700.

- Who needs a Robot when we’ve already got Alec Baldwin??

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Bernie Madoff who scammed investors out of more than 17 BILLION dollars in an elaborate Ponzi scheme has died in Prison of natural causes at the age of 82.

- In case you wanted to start a “GoFundMe” page for Bernie, the Madoff family says it’s not necessary. Turns out before he passed on, Bernie came up with an elaborate scheme to sell shares to investors to pay for his funeral.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick