It’s National Plumber’s Day! So this would be a good day to call your plumber and tell him you made him a cake to celebrate! Tell him he can stop by ANTYTIME today between 8 and 10… Tomorrow from Noon to 3… or Thursday from 1 to 5 to pick it up!

*****

Going under the knife for a nose job is becoming less popular as people turn to “non-surgical alternatives” to change the appearance of their schnoz - although they didn’t mention what those “alternatives” are.

- Here’s an idea…. Get on an airplane, then talk incessantly and throw bottles of water at Mike Tyson until he’s so annoyed he’ll rearrange your face for free!

*****

The famous painting of George Washington crossing the Delaware River that hung in the White House for 40 years is being auctioned off this week and is expected to sell for $20 MILLION.

- And for an extra 50 GRAND, you can get a painting of Joe Biden crossing INTO DELAWARD on an Amtrak Train painted by Hunter Biden.

*****

The University of Waterloo in Canada has announced an opening for a tenure track position… but it’s only available to qualified individuals who “Self-identify as Women, Transgender, Non-Binary or Two-Spirit."

- Two-Spirit?? Is that someone who likes Vodka AND Gin in their Martinis??

*****

Apple is taking a lot of heat for it’s new “Pregnant Man” emoji… which came out last week and features Pregnant men in 5 different skin tones.

- So men CAN have babies!!!!!!!

- NOTE TO SELF: Send all my pregnant guy friends a congrats Text! And make sure it’s got the RIGHT colored emoji.

*****

On Friday, in response to Disney’s “Woke” policies, Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a bill dissolving the special tax status they had in Florida.

- It you thought the HATTER was MAD before… you should see him now!!

*****

And Happy Belated Birthday to #4 Daughter JoAnne!!!!

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick