Caesarean Section Day… 4 of my 6 girls were born by Caesarean Section. After the third one… I said, “Doctor… Do you think it would be easier if you just put in a zipper?”

****

The Village People have confirmed that they will be performing at multiple Inauguration Events… They’ll perform their hit “YMCA” - one of Trump’s favorites and a staple at many of his rallies.

- And they’ll be able to play “Macho Man” since Pete Buttegeig will no longer be part of the Administration.

*****

Over the weekend, President Biden said that if he had stayed in the race he “would have beaten” Prez Elect Trump in the 2024 election. He then went on to say that Kamala Harris would also have beaten Trump.

-6 more days, people. 6 more days.

*****

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle are being criticized on Social Media for “touring” the disaster zones from the California Fires… but not doing much to help out.

-But Meghan says this is in keeping with her brand. She’s really good at starting fires and running away.

*****

In a new interview, 81-year-old Robert De Niro confirmed that he doesn’t change diapers after admitting that his girlfriend does the “heavy lifting.”

It’s not that his girlfriend doesn’t want him to help it’s just every time she asks, they have to go through the whole, “You talking to me? You talking to me?” thing from Taxi Driver.

*****

A new study finds that men who regularly drink grape juice could significantly lower their odds of erectile dysfunction (ED).

-And just like that, Bill Clinton changed his natioalitoty from “American” to “Welch”.

*****

According to a new survey, one-third of those living with partners described their significant other as “a baby” when sick.

-Not me. As long as I’ve got my footie pajamas, Jell-O and coloring books… I’m good to go.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick