A woman walked through a New York lumber store over the weekend completely naked.
- The store now boasts that they feature 2 X 4’s and 36-18-34’s.
- Employee’s of the store have been Pine-ing for her ever since.
- One guy tweeted a picture of her and suddenly every man in New York decided it was time to build a new deck.
Disneyland Tokyo announced that it’s going to allow same-sex couples to get married at the themepark.
- John Travolta just filed a flight plan to Tokyo for he and his masseuse.
- I don’t want to be there when Sleeping Beauty wakes up and finds out Prince Charming has found his own Prince Charming.
- To celebrate, the park has added an 8th dwarf… “Flamboyant-y”.
The Yankee Candle company has launched a limited-edition candle that smells like a man cave.
- Isn’t the whole point of candles to keep your house from smelling like a man cave?
Robin Gibb, one-third of the Bee Gee’s died Sunday at the age of 62 after a long battle with Cancer.
- A sad reminder that none of us can keep “Stayin’ Alive” forever…
Have a great day and I’ll see you right back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Hey… It’s me… “The Father of The Bride”! In today’s Podcast, Jackie and I re-cap my daughter Jill’s big wedding last weekend! It may not have been a “same sex” marriage, but I think even President Obama and Joe Biden would have had a great time at the reception!
Plus… with Mother’s Day the very next day, Jackie tells us about a very special gift she got from her 10-year-old son Charlie that warmed her heart and froze her “nether regions”!
And speaking of “mothering”… TIME Magazine’s new “Breast Feeding Cover” is all the rage - and causing some rage as well, with it’s touting of “Total Attachment Parenting”. From NEVER letting your baby cry, letting the “baby” nurse well into toddlerhood, and letting the “little one” sleep in bed with Mom and Dad indefinitely, I think the doctor behind this theory should be put in a “Time Out”!
From Wedding Bells to Baby Blues… listen in on the conversation right now!
I hate to run, but I’ve got an appointment at the chiropractor. (Break dancing to that Lada Gaga song seemed like such a great idea at the time…)
Have a great weekend!
-Dick
The Facebook IPO is expected to be the largest stock offering in history when it debuts tomorrow.
- Of course at almost $40 a share, most Facebook users are saying LOL to the IPO.
- Jeff Zuckerberg is so excited he’s already hit the “Like” button on the official Facebook page a million times.
- If the offering brings in the tens of millions expected, Zuckerberg will be LHAO all the way to the bank!
The defense has rested in the John Edwards trial without Edwards or his baby-mama mistress Rielle Hunter ever taking the stand.
- If only John had “rested” instead of “sexted” he wouldn’t be in trouble in the first place.
- Broadway is already planning a show about the trial… It’s called “Hairspray The Musical - Part II”.
- Some of the witnesses broke down on the stand… but it wasn’t from emotion, it was the fumes from John’s hairspray.
A watchdog group has discovered that the government spent $1.5 million in federal stimulus money studying erectile dysfunction.
- And that’s why they call it “Stimulus Money”.
- Another example of your tax dollars hard at work…
- The secret code name for the program was “Cialis Doesn’t Live Here Anymore”.
Reasearchers say that fat starts to reach a person’s waistline within three hours of eating a meal.
- With the exception of Kim Kardashian - where the fat goes right past her waist and straight to her butt.
- So it takes four hours to fly to Vegas… but only three hours for the free buffet to land on your gut?
In a related story… a new study claims that sleepwalking is not rare in the United States.
- Which is why I always eat a huge, fatty meal before bed so I can walk it off while I’m sleeping.
Officials in a Japanese city claim they’ve created the biggest public toilet in the world.
- Of course if everyone flushes at the same time, Tsunami warnings are issued in Hawaii.
- I thought NYC’s Times Square was the biggest public toilet in the world.
- The toilet is so big, it’s got it’s own Mayor… a Mr. “Ty. D. Bowl”.
Some Arabs are protesting Sasha Baron Cohen’s new comedy, “The Dictator”, saying that it makes them look bad.
- Unlike Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who always makes them look good!
On this day in 1620 the first merry-go-round was seen at a fair in Turkey.
- It was almost as popular as the carnival’s biggest attracton: “Whack-A-Greek”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with a brand-spanking new Podcast!
-Dick
President Obama said Tuesday that his daughers Malia and Sasha can only use their cell phones on weekends.
- So they were forced to order a pizza last night on the Oval Office phone and were confused when Monica Lewinsky showed up.
- The girls were so angry they sent out mean tweets about their dad and were immediately arrested by the Secret Service for making a threat against the President.
A survey says that 12 percent of American moms use their cell phones during sex.
- I believe this is known as “phone sex”.
- Experts warn that much like driving, using your cell phone during sex can result in a rear end collision.
- Bill Clinton always talks on his cell phone during “the deed”… so he can call Hillary and assure her that he’s home vacuuming.
Chris Matthews, who repeadedly mocked Sarah Palin as a dunce who would bomb out on “Jeopardy”, went on the show this week and came in last with only $2300.
- He said he was distracted by “the tingle” that went up his leg everytime he pushed the buzzer.
- Chris did ace one category: “American Presidents Whose Last Name Start With ‘O’”.
- So basically the host of “Hardball” couldn’t even get the “softball” questions.
New Jersey “Tanning Mom” Patricia Krentcil said she would pose for Playboy if they ask.
- If I were her, I wouldn’t be waiting by the phone.
- I think she stands a better chance of landing the cover of “Leather Face Quarterly”.
- If they turn her down, she’s offered to have her little girl pose for the Highlights Magazine tanning issue in the Pediatricians office.
NBC unveiled it’s new fall lineup. Headlining the list: a show about Hannibal Lecter.
- It will be called “Everybody Loves Raymond… With Some Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti”.
A new study shows that many pregnant women fear exercising while they are expecting.
- That’s because being in such good shape is what got them pregnant in the first place.
- Maybe they’re just saving up all their energy for “the big push” at the end of 9 months.
On this day in 1770, 14-year-old Marie Antoinette married the future King Louis XVI of France who was 15.
- Years later, she was beheaded for telling the starving peasants, “Let them eat cake”. Unfortunately for her, there was no Entenmann’s Bakery in Paris.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
Southeast Michigan may become home to a new version of NYC’s “Chinatown”, a planned community of 415 upscale homes for Chinese immigrants. It would be built off US 23, south of Ann Arbor. The idea is to encourage Chinese investors and to entice Asian students to attend U of M.
- Zingerman’s Deli has already added “General Tso’s Pastrami” to their menu.
- They’re also offering a new alcoholic beverage: “Let’s Go Brew!”