Crazy night last night… with the Republican Debate on one Channel… the Country Music Awards on another.

- You know things are bad when the lyrics to the Country Songs are less depressing than the Speeches at the Debate.

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A Canadian family welcomed a bouncing baby boy last month — who weighed a whopping 14 1bs. 8 ounces. "It was a mind-blowing experience," said the baby’s father, “It was like… winning the Stanley Cup. Everybody was jumping and screaming. It was fun."

- I’m not sure “Fun” is the word the MOM used to describe it… but, okay… we’ll go with that.

“Sonny”… the couple’s fifth child was actually delivered by C-Section because 2 of the couples older children had tipped the scales at 13 pounds each.

- Basically the Mom told her OB, “When push comes to shove… I’m NOT DOING any of the pushing or shoving anymore!!”

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A new survey found that when dining out, 53% of people experience “Food Envy,” … wishing they had ordered what someone else is enjoying.

- And the #1 most “Envied” item is the one Meg Ryan was having in “When Harry Met Sally”.

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A Deer crashed through the front window of the “Curvaceous” lingerie store in Lansing and did some browsing before finding its way back outside.

- The deer has not been identified, but I’m better her name was “Vixen” or “Dancer”.

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A new survey finds that many people suffer from “Tattoo Regret”… with tattoos on the Forearm getting the most post-ink second-thoughts.

- Well, there was one woman who got “Two Door Convertible” tattooed on her Chest when she was twenty… and said by the time she was 80… she needed to have it “fixed” to read “FOUR ON THE FLOOR”.

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A new version of the Burt Reynolds football comedy “The Longest Yard” will be headed to theaters in 2024.

- In my opinion… “The Longest Yard” EVER was the front yard of the house I grew up in in Kenmore, New York when my Dad made me get out of bed every Saturday to mow.

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During a recent diving exploration, there were roughly 50,000 bronze coins found dating back to the 4th century AD off the coast of Sardinia in Italy.

- Thus the famous song… “50,000 Coins Close to the Fountain”.

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As promised… Here’s the video of 11 year old Lia Lucci singing at Andiamos last Friday night. I was there when she got picked from the audience to sing during David Foster’s show there last week and Lia was so good, they invited her back to perform during Frankie Scinta’s show two nights later! In the clip, she’s singing, “I Will Always Love You”. It was a hit for Whitney Houston - and I’m thinking Lia’s version is a Winner, too.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

People Magazine announced their “Sexiest Man Alive” for 2023 and the Winner is… Patrick Dempsey aka the former “Dr. McDreamy” from Grey’s Anatomy… the Medical Drama he left in 2015.

I had lunch with him one day in the cafeteria at Sinai Hospital in Detroit. The idea was to see how long it would take for the Nurses to realize that “Dr. McDreamy” was sitting across from me having lunch.

Let’s just say within five minutes “Dr. McDreamy” had more Nurses attending to him that an ICU patient during a Code Blue… and “Dr. McDiscJockey” (that’s me) was left sitting eating my cup of Sugar-Free Jell-O.

It’s not easy being the Wingman for the “Sexiest Man Alive”… but somebody’s gotta do it!

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The last “new” Beatles song, “Now and Then,” was released last week… using Artificial Intelligence to separate out John Lennon's vocal tracks, then incorporating Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr's musical additions.

- I was curious about the whole “AI” thing… but it turns out, even “Artificial Intelligence” was smart enough to edit Yoko Ono’s vocals out of the final mix!

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An Oregon jury awarded a man $1.4 MILLION after he claimed his landlord stole his pet cat following the feline’s mysterious disappearance.

- The man wasn’t supposed to reveal the amount of the settlement… but he let the Cat out of the bag.

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The Oregon Department of Education just decided that basic “Reading, Writing and ‘rithmetic” are not required for students to get a high school diploma. They just voted to extended a rule - put in place during the pandemic - that gets rid of PASSING GRADES as a requirement to Graduate from High School through 2028.

- I guess it makes sense. How much Education do you need to make a Sign and Protest something you know absolutely NOTHING about??

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After the great response we got to the pic and story about 11 year old Detroit singer Lia Lucci yesterday… Her Dad sent me a video of her singing “I Will Always Love You” at Andiamo’s last Friday Night during Las Vegas star Frankie Scinta’s show, and I’m going to post it at the end of the blog tomorrow! She’s a great kid with an amazing voice!!!

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Had the chance to see two great shows at Andiamo Celebrity Show Room in Warren last week… David Foster & Katherine McPhee on Wednesday, then Frankie Scinta on Friday. But the real star of the show BOTH nights was the amazing little girl you see with me in the pic. That’s Lia Lucci, 11, a local girl who happened to be in the audience with her parents at the David Foster show Wednesday and got a chance to sing Whitney Houston and Dolly Parton’s hit “I Will Always Love You”. To say Miss Lucci was astounding is an understatement. She was incredible… and they invited her back to perform with Frankie on Friday. Remember her name: Lia Lucci. She’s going places!!!

FYI… “I Will Always Love You” was actually written and recorded by Dolly Parton in 1973… before Whitney Houston asked Dolly if she could record it - which she did and had a HUGE hit with it in 1992. It almost got the “Royal Treatment”… when Elvis asked Dolly if HE could record the song… but, believe it or not, Dolly turned him down!

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A new study out of Canada found that Birth Control Pills alter the part of Women’s brains responsible for Emotion, Anxiety and Fear… and might make them more likely to “take risks”.

- Well I can think of ONE risk taking the Pill is gonna make them more willing to take.

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Four men have been charged for stealing a $6 MILLION 18-carat solid gold toilet stolen from the home where Winston Churchill was born in 1874.

- In the words of Winston himself… “This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Maybe he WASN’T talking about WWII… Maybe he was foretelling this whole toilet theft thing… “And when the waves of Tourists begin to arrive in years to come… they’ll have a place to put their End” !!!

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A biologically female author from Toronto who came out as a transgender man last August after his now wife (who was his husband for 19 years) - came out as a trans woman - has announced that their son is now their daughter and they are now in a four way open-relationship with their respective trans lovers.

- Just in time for the Holidays!

- I’d love to be a fly on the wall when they try to figure out the “Secret Santa” exchange in THAT family!

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According to a new survey, 4 in 10 parents admit they don’t want to be like their own Parents.

- The other 6 in 10 couldn't be reached for comment as they were outside yelling at the neighborhood kids to get offa their lawn.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

The liberal mayors of NYC, Chicago, Denver, Houston and LA are teaming up to demand that the Biden administration step in and pony up $5 BILLION in taxpayer $$$ to cover the costs of taking care of migrants after those Mayors THEMSELVES declared they were "Sanctuary Cities".

- Okay..... Here's another idea: NO.

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Willie Nelson is bringing something new to Michigan and it's not music... Starting next Wednesday, "Willie's Reserve"... Nelson's personal line of Cannabis products go on sale in select dispensaries around the state.

- Hear more details in Willies new song, "To All the Joints I've Rolled Before".

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77 year old Cher says she and her 37 year old boyfriend Alexander "A.E." Edwards have a great relationship, but admits that - with a 40 year age difference between them, he doesn't always get her references.

- For example, when Cher mentions “Sonny Bono” he thinks she talking about the Weather Forecast.

- And she thinks “Kaitlyn & Bruce” Jenner used to be married. (Perhaps you already know this… but Kaitlyn and Bruce ARE THE SAME PERSON as I understand it)

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A huge, scared Black Bear climbed into a tree near Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom, forcing more than a dozen attractions and rides to close down temporarily.

- Apparently the bear freaked out after he had a few too many drinks during dinner at the Country Bear Jamboree and woke up next to Sleeping Beauty.

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An Indian man who has been separated from his wife for nearly 40 YEARS and has been trying to divorce her for 27 YEARS had his request for divorce dismissed by the Supreme Court.

- Why the rush?

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An Iowa man thought he was pretty clever when he tried to get out of an Indecent Exposure charge by telling police that he wasn't actually "Pleasuring Himself" as he walked around a busy Target store, but rather was playing with a sex toy he had hidden in his shorts. But police didn't buy his story and he was arrested.

- The man's wife said she was shocked... saying, "He'a a quiet guy... It's not like him to walk around Tooting his own horn".

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Wednesday night, Jennifer, Jackie, JoAnne and Jessica and I went to the Andiamo Showroom in Warren to see David Foster and his wife Katherine McPhee. (The girls had gotten me tix for my Birthday present!) What a show! He’s written and produced more songs than you can count… for everyone from Celine Dion and Josh Grobin to Chicago, Michael Jackson and Peter Cetera. He played piano and she sang with a fabulous orchestra behind them. I’d say go see ‘em tonight… but they’re sold out again!

Note: I’m posting the video of “The Prayer”, the song David and Carol Bayer Sager wrote for Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli. Enjoy!

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RIP… Bobby Knight, longtime Basketball Coach at Indiana who died yesterday at age 83.

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Monday, President Biden signed an Executive Order designed to curb threats stemming from the rise of AI… and now we know why: A White House Spokesperson says the Prez watched Tom Cruise’s
”Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning” and got worried about Computers taking over. (True!)

- Uh oh. I heard he also watched, “The Wizard of Oz”… so look for a new Ban on Flying Houses & Scarecrows.

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Pharmacists protesting poor working conditions walked out of Walgreens and CVS stores around the country Monday.

- It would be a hard pill to swallow… if only there was someone to fill your prescription!

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Hundreds of years after the “Salem Witch Trials relatives are trying to have the women’s conviction’s overturned and their names cleared.

- Back then, the women considered “Witches” were arrested and put to death. In modern times, they’d get a TV show called, “The Real Housewives of Salem, Massachusetts”.

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The Internet is full of “Hacks”… Ways to improve your life with simple “tricks”.

For example, today I read that the best way to get your sneakers extra clean is by “Brushing Them” with White Toothpaste.

- Question: They didn’t mention it, but should I Floss the eyelet holes where the laces go too?

- I usually use Crest toothpaste (Colgate globs up too much at the tip of the tube) for my teeth - but I have a blister on my heel from trick or treating so when I clean my sneakers today… I’m gonna use Sensodyne.

- When I was growing up, I had an Aunt and Uncle named Tom & Eilah. But I always called them “Tom & Eyelet” because my Mother had told me that was the “Proper name” for the lace holes in my shoes and I figured I should use the “Proper name” for my Aunt”. What did I know? I was a kid! I was only 18!

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And then I read Hack #2:

Always eat your hamburger upside down. Why? Because the top bun - which is technically called the “Crown” - is thicker than the bottom.

- Come to think of it… That’s the exact Opposite of my Aunt Eilah.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

It’s Halloween! I’m no Genius… but being a Dad myself, I know what Trick or Treaters like and I’m here for it! In keeping with tradition, I’ll be at my front door tonight, ladle in hand, waiting to hand out a delicious scoop of fresh, hot Chunky Beef Soup to each little ghost or goblin that comes by!!! 🎃👻

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PICTURED: Me gettin’ out of bed on the first morning after retiring. Didn’t have to comb my hair that day! Pretty sharp, huh?

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Americans spent $3.7 billion on Halloween candy last year… and this year is set to go even higher. The unexpected big seller in 2023: Marshmallow Peeps.

- Not making the list again this year: Chocolate Covered Pickled Pigs Feet (Dark Chocolate - if you’re “health -conscious).

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England’s Royal Family claims “ghosts” that haunt many of the families castles and cottages make everyday seem like Halloween. Over the years, members of the family - including Camilla - claim they were terrified when they “felt” or “saw” the ghosts of former residents.

- They say it was almost as bad as their first Christmas with Meghan Markle.

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Question: What was Andy William’s Second Favorite Holiday and Why?

Answer: Halloween! Because It’s The Ghost Wonderful Time of the Year! (Bada Boom)

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Why did Yogi Bear wear a Band-Aid as his Halloween Costume?

- He wanted to go as his friend “Boo-Boo”!

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The Transportation Security Administration says marijuana was discovered in a woman's adult diaper at an airport checkpoint.

- Question: What was the woman wearing at the time? It Depends!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow…

-Dick

Love to my high school sweetheart, first wife and mother of my six daughters, Gail, who we lost five years ago today. Miss you today and everyday…❤️

a

Matthew Perry - who played Chandler Bing on the hit sit-com “Friends” has died at just 54 from an apparent drowning in a hot tub at his California home.

Perry shot to fame in the 90’s as part of the ensemble cast that included Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox and the other “Friends”… but struggled with a severe addiction to alcohol and drugs that led him to more than a dozen trips to rehab and $9 MILLION spent trying to get sober.

Perry eventually did overcome his addictions - and wrote about his struggles in his book, “Friends, Lovers and the Big, Terrible Thing”.

Interesting Facts about Matthew Perry

- Many in the industry consider him a brilliant comedic actor

- He was born in Canada and went to elementary school with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

- Dated Julia Roberts in the 1990’s - but HE broke up with HER - because he was afraid he wasn’t good enough for her.

- Although he never married, was said to “long for a wife and kids”.

- His Step-Dad is Keith Morrison (also Canadian) - host of NBC’s “Dateline”.

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VP Kamala Harris raised eyebrows on 60 Minutes Sunday night… When asked about stepping in if Biden opted not to run for re-election in 2024. She replied: 'Well, first of all, I'm not gonna engage in that hypothetical, because Joe Biden is Very Much Alive and is running for re-election”.

- Well that’s good to hear.

- Most politician like to say they’ve got the “Pulse of the Nation”… Kamala’s busy making just making sure the President has a Pulse!

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Late last night, the judge in Trump’s Election Interference Case Re-Imposed the Gag Order against him. An hour later, the former Prez tweeted that former AG Bill Barr is, “Dumb, Weak, Slow Moving, Lethargic, Gutless, and Lazy”.

- Well… 5 out of 6 ain’t bad!

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Taylor Swift broke her own Spotify record for the “Most-Streamed” Artist in a single day.

- Speaking of “Streaming”… I saw a commercial for “Flowmax” last night where a bunch of guys are kayaking down a river and they're all laughing. Maybe it’s because they all just “went” in the River like everybody else does???

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday! Halloween!

-Dick

P.S. Happy Birthday to my #3 Daughter Jill today!!!

Buzzfeed.com put out a list of costumes you should avoid this year if you want keep from offending anyone. To avoid controversy they suggest NOT dressing up like: Covid, the Covid Vaccine, Vladimir Putin, Queen Elizabeth (too soon) or President Donald Trump.

- Whoa! I got nervous for a second when I saw the word “President”! I’m going as “Mr. Belvedere” and thought my whole “TY8-7100 for a Home Improvement Date” get-up might be too-controversial.

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Speaking of Halloween… Last week, costumed boating enthusiasts in Antwerp, Belgium held their annual “Pumpkin Regatta”… an event where giant-hollowed out 2000 lb. pumpkin “kayaks” are raced down a river. The pumpkin-boats are said to be “sticky, oily, and really hard to steer”.

- But more importantly… Unlike normal Kayaks, when you're done with the Pumpkin Regatta, you can turn your boat into an awesome PIE!

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Costco is selling a 157-piece Ultimate Cookware Set of Luxury Brand “Le Creuset” for $4,499-dollars.

- I know $5000 sounds like a lot for Pots and Pans, but You're saving $59.95!! AND it comes with a FREE pancake spatula!

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With Halloween just around the corner…

What is Casper the Ghost’s favorite Christmas song?

“I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus”. (Bada Boom!)

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According to a recent survey, only 24% of Gen Z (11 to 26 year olds) say they always tip their hairdresser, stylist, or barber.

Here’s a Tip for Gen Zers: Stop dying your hair pink, green, and blue and go get a job.

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A new study finds that children can be “bored into obesity,” as they eat much more when they experience boredom.

- So by this logic… we can “Excite them into Shape”???

So basically take away all the incredibly important ridiculously expensive electronic stuff that they can’t live without and go back to the Batts & Balls, Bikes & Big Wheels, Marbles, Yo-Yos & Imaginations WE had when WE were kids… And we’ll start getting Healthy kids back!!!

Worked for Us…

It’ll work for Them!

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A 60 year old Arizona woman with osteoporosis has taken up pole dancing to improve her condition. She said her Doctor told her exercise is the #1 way to increase bone mass - and dancing is a good way to work out.

- Osteoporosis at only 60! It amazing how fast you go from Break Dancing to Try-Not-To-Break-a-Hip Dancing!

- Hey… maybe Pole Dancing is something Martha, with the big square black glasses from the “Medicare Advantage” commercials that are all over TV now, should look into doing. I actually think she’s kind of cute… but the Ad runs so much, she’s starting to get on my nerves. But hey… she’s got a lot of energy. Martha must be taking “Balance of Nature”!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

The Republicans will put up yet another candidate for Speaker of the House this afternoon… this time it’s Louisiana Rep. Mike Johnson. He’s the 4th person since Kevin McCarthy was ousted 3 weeks ago.

- There’s no rule that says the Speaker has to be a member of Congress, so if he doesn’t win… I’m gonna nominate Taylor Swift. She’s got a good voice and so much $$$, she could fund all the wars AND write a hit song about it, too!

- In every pic of her I see, she’s got her mouth WIDE open. She’s either singing or trying to catch a football from her new boyfriend.

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With mortgage rates nearing 8%, more and more “adult kids” are moving back in with their parents.

- The technical term for this within the Real Estate Community is “The Hunter Biden Effect”.

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A new Meta-Gallup survey has found that nearly 1 in 4 adults across the world have reported feeling very or fairly lonely. And it’s not just people. Apparently animals are lonely too.

For example, a scientist in Austria recently reported that,

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo.

(Admit it… You started singing, didn’t you??)

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The next “Mission Impossible” movie has been delayed to 2025 due to the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike.

- Apparently the “Impossible” part is getting any of the extras to show up for work.

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A 23-year-old Florida man is facing charges after police say he handed pharmacy employees a note demanding a laundry list of prescription drugs, including Viagra. The note said “I don’t want to hurt you… but if you don’t put the pills in the bag… I’ll shoot you”. Police apprehended the suspect before he was able to take any of the Viagra.

- Talk about a hardened criminal. Well, almost.

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A wedding planned for an inn in Vermont had to be relocated at the last minute when an innkeeper was arrested after he allegedly put a loaded handgun to the neck of the bride’s father.

- Usually it’s the best man who get’s loaded at the Wedding… but, whatever.

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RIP… Richard Roundtree, the actor best known for playing the title character in the 1971 movie “Shaft” has died following a short battle with Pancreatic Cancer at age 81.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

A naked selfie of Joe Biden's 69 year old brother Frank has been discovered on a gay porn site. The Prez’s younger sib admits he took the pic of himself naked - wearing only a baseball cap and glasses - in 2018. Frank sez that someone must have "hacked his phone” - even though he admitted the pic has been on the porn site for 5 YEARS.

- Move over Hunter! Looks like you’re not the only crazy Biden Family member!!

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Tabloid papers ran wild with an unsubstantiated story yesterday that Russian President Vladimir Putin had suffered a cardiac arrest in his bedroom at the Kremlin on Sunday - but was successfully recessitated with CPR.

- Time is always of the essence when it comes to CPR... Thankfully Vlad was shirtless like usual, so they didn't have to waste any time putting on the electric shock paddles.

- Ultimately doctors determined that Vlad didn’t actually have a Heart Attack… since he doesn’t actually have a Heart.

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Spirit Airlines canceled about 100 flights this weekend after pulling some planes out of service for unexplained “Inspections”. A company spokesperson says they expect the resulting delays to last for several days.

- Call me crazy… but doesn’t this happen every year after Spirit Hosts it’s “Pilot’s Appreciation Weekend” in Vegas??

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Tropical Storm Norma weakened to become a tropical depression after strengthening slightly and dumping heavy rain as it moved into the Mexican mainland.

- Then Norma did something crazy by today’s standards… It STAYED IN MEXICO!!!!

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According to a recent survey, nearly half of U.S. adults under the age of 50 say they wish there were more than two political parties to vote for.

- Well why not? Some of the crazies tell us there are 87 different genders… the least we can do is have a half dozen Political Parties to choose from.

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A new scientific paper out of Geneva University in Switzerland claims that nearly half of patients in a recent study reported changes in their behavior and values after receiving blood transfusions and/or organ transplants. The results have some researchers questioning whether blood and tissue can carry "personality traits" from one person to another.

- I believe it. I knew a guy who got blood transfusion from his mother-in-law. Now he spends all his time telling himself he's not good enough to be married to his mother-in-law’s daughter.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

This morning, a Jet Blue plane TIPPEDS BACKWARDS while parked at the gate at JFK “due to a shift in weight and balance” causing the nose of the plane to lift up and then go back down.

- Btw… Chris Christie was sitting in the Back Row… Nice to see at least one Politician who still flys Commercial !!!

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In YESTERDAY’s embarrassing news…

Did you see the Lions Game???

- The last time the Lions played that badly was back in 2008 when they went 0-16 for the year. I thought the days of fans pulling their hats and bags down and watching the game through the eye holes were over!

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Michigan State is apologizing after an image of Adolf Hitler appeared on a Spartan Stadium video board Saturday night before the game against Michigan… alongside a trivia question answer about his birthplace. MSU said the scoreboard content came from a third-party source and that the school will no longer use that company and will update its screening procedures.

- They might also want to make sure the Professors in their History Department are up to speed, too. (These days… you never know!)

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Question: Are you sick of all the pics and stories about Taylor Swift and her new boyfriend, KC Chief’s player Travis Kelce??

- TMI… TMI… !!!

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The world's oldest dog - a pup named “Bobi” has died at the age of 31. Bobi’s owner says his “perfect pup” was born in an outhouse and not expected to live… but was scrappy, lived on “People food” and never spent a minute on a leash.

- Let’s see… Bobi was 31 in Human years. And supposedly each Human year counts for 7 in Dog life… So Bob would have been 217 Years old if he was a Human! That’s amazing! And what’s even more amazing… If he was still alive, he could run for President!!

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Amazon is upping its delivery game… this time by introducing a new fleet of Delivery Drones that will deliver packages weighing up to 5 lbs. through light rain in UNDER AN HOUR.

- Wait… Does it HAVE to be RAINING??? What if I order something that weighs less than 5 lbs. and it’s Sunny out? Can I still get it?

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

I

Dolly Parton says she’s sleeps in her make-up… because “You never know what’s going to happen in the middle of the night”.

- This is exactly why I always comb my mustache before I go to bed. I wanna look good the next morning.

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New research suggests the winter months may promote healthier eating habits.

- Let’s see… We’ve got Halloween Candy, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Pumpkin-Spiced EVERYTHING... Sure, let’s go with “Healthier”.

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A Japanese company says Artificial Intelligence software proves that Russian President Vladimir Putin DOES use a body double at public appearances amid rumors of health problems. They claim the REAL Putin hosted the country’s Victory Day Parade in May, but that some of the other “Vlads” are only a 40% match to the real Putin on Facial Recognition Software.

- I had a body double for a while back in 80’s… I wonder what ever happened to him?? His name was George Clooney…

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77 year old Cher has once again threatened to leave the US if Donald Trump wins the Election, tweeting “I almost got an ulcer the last time… This time I will leave the country”.

- Promise???

- Something tells me she’ll end up staying and making money off it… I can hear it now… “Gypsies, TRUMP & Thieves”.

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A recent survey finds that Sexual Satisfaction among older adults may delay or even prevent Memory Loss and Cognitive Decline.

- But even if Sexual Satisfaction DOESN’T help prevent cognitive decline… you’ll be in a MUCH better mood about it.

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A Louisiana couple recently welcomed "Spontaneous Triplets" – Triplets that were conceived naturally without the use of fertility drugs. Spontaneous Triplets are a rare occurrence that happens in only 1 out of every 1 MILLION to 200 MILLION pregnancies. 


- Wow. What are the odds?? Kinda like having 6 Girls and NO Boys! Oh, wait a minute… That’s what happened to me and my wife!

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An Arkansas man was arrested and changed with Public Indecency after police found him in a parked car romancing… a stuffed animal.

- The police didn’t divulge which stuffed animal it was… but if I had to guess, I’d go with “Tickle Me Elmo”.

- Hey… It could have been worse. He could have been caught with Bert & Ernie.

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RIP… Character actor Burt Young… who was nominated for an Oscar for his role as “Paulie” in the Rocky movies - and was a former boxer himself… has died at age 83. No cause of death was given.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

A new report shows that American voters increasingly think both President Biden and his son did something illegal when it comes to Hunter’s foreign business dealings.

- Gosh… With TWO wars going on simultaneously, I almost forgot about the Biden Family Financial Corruption Investigations!!

- Not to mention Trump’s legal problems.

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A School District is South Dakota sent out an email reminding parents that they won't be celebrating Halloween at school due to "Diversity and Inclusion" of all students... but will be celebrating with a slew of LGBQT + Classroom Activities during Pride Month.

- Here's a tip: If your kid REALLY, REALLY wants to wear a Halloween costume to school... just have 'em dress up as a Drag Queen!

- Heck... they can probably even borrow the costume from their teacher!

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India says it plans to send an astronaut to the Moon by 2040 - that on the heels of US plans to return to the the Lunar surface in 2025 and China - who says it will land it's "citizens" on the Moon by 2030.

- And I'm just trying to get a flight next Spring that doesn't have three layovers and cost ten thousand dollars.

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According to a new survey, Americans say building savings for an emergency and paying monthly bills are just as stressful as saving enough for retirement.

- Look on the bright side! The way things are going... you may never be able to afford to retire so you don't need to worry about saving for it!

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StudyFinds.com has compiled the best Halloween celebrations in the U.S. and the “Village Halloween Parade” New York City came in number one. Thousands of people take to the streets, drinking and carousing in multi-colored wigs and bizarre outfits.

- Isn’t that what they do EVERY NIGHT in New York???

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According to the latest data the new iPhone 15 is selling worse among young people in China than its predecessor the iPhone 14.

- Looks like the kids in China are learning an important lesson early: Don't Bring Your Work Home With You!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Taylor Swift and KC Chief player Travis Kelce were spotted getting handsy for the second night in a row while out on a romantic dinner date. The pair were all smiles as they left a swanky NYC restaurant hand-in-hand before ducking into an SUV waiting outside.

- These two are so in love… this is gonna be Taylor’s best Break Up Album EVER!!!

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On Monday, Judge Tanya Chutkan issued a gag order on former President Trump, limiting what he can say about his alleged attempt to challenge the results of the 2020 election. Trump immediately tweeted that he'll appeal the ruling calling the whole thing a "Witch Hunt".

- Speaking of Witches... Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg have selected their Halloween costumes and it’s going to be SCARY!!!! They’re going as each other!!!

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Scientists at the University of Michigan say new research shows that Ultra Processed Foods or “UPF’s” - like chips, hot dogs, pop and sugary cereal are just as addictive as nicotine, cocaine and heroin. They say 14% of people are actually “Junk Food Addicts”.

- I’m not saying I have a problem… but I did break out in a cold sweat the other day when I ran out of “Yasso” Frozen Chocolate Covered Vanilla Yogurt Bars. Boy are they good! (and available at Kroger!)

- … And in the spirit of full disclosure… I’m also a certified Raisinette-aholic, too! (What am I a Raisinette Influencer all of a sudden?? To be honest… I don’t even know what an “Influencer” is!)

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The CEO of Levi's has come up with a new way to fight Climate Change: Wear your pants in the shower! Charles "Chip" Bergh says wearing your jeans while you shower and washing them like you would your legs helps eliminate the "toxic microfibers from denim that build up in washing machines and eventually make their way to aquatic ecosystems".

- Call me crazy… but doesn’t the water from the shower end up in the SAME PLACE as the water from the WASHING MACHINE??

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Oprah Winfrey is throwing cold water on Mitt Romney's claim that she asked him to join her in a run for the Presidency in 2020. She says she encouraged MITT to run... but never planned to run herself.

- But how fun would it have been to have Oprah as President?? We all would have gotten a NEW CAR!!!!

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An Italian motorcyclist was recently left in excruciating pain after a motorcycle crash dislodged his testicle and sent it up into his body.

- Ironically, Police blamed the crash on a "loose ball bearing".

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

As of this morning… no additional big news out of the Israeli/Hamas War.

RIP… Suzanne Summers… the bubbly actress best known for her role as “Chrissy” on “Three’s Company” and for the “The Thigh Master” commercials. She lost 23 years long battle with Breast cancer on Sunday, just one day before her 77th birthday.

RIP… Piper Laurie… the actress best known movies, “The Hustler” and “Carrie” died Saturday at the age of 91. No cause of death was given.

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And now for some Good News…

The Detroit Lions are tied for the BEST RECORD in the NFL after Sunday’s 20-6 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Lions are now 5-1 for the first time since 2011… with a four game winning streak. That puts Detroit at the top of the heap with the 2023 Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs, the Miami Dolphins, the San Francisco 49ers and the Philadelphia Eagles. The 49ers and Eagles were undefeated going into yesterday’s games… but both ended up losing. So now all five teams are tied at 5 -1.

Could the Lions end up going to the Super Bowl???? Maybe!!!!!! Should we savor this moment of being tied for 1st place???? Definitely!!!!!

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A North Carolina angler set a new Saltwater Fishing World Record when he brought in a 3 pound “Puddingwife” earlier this month. For those of you who don’t know what a “Puddingwife” is… I looked it up. It’s a brightly colored reef fish that’s edible -but most people consider it a “trash fish” due it’s “blue flesh and excessive mucus”.

- Sounds yummy! And with the right Tartar Sauce… you don’t even notice the Mucus!

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According to a national survey, the average American chows down on enough pizza each year to stuff a full-sized suitcase.

- I did my part yesterday… I had two pieces of pizza for dinner and a side of pasta with Marinara.

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Last week a Canadian man ate 50 of the world's hottest chili peppers - The Carolina Reaper - in a record-breaking 6 minutes and 49.2 seconds -- and then went on to eat 85 more.

- This is either really dumb… or the fastest Colonoscopy Prep I’ve ever heard of.

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Scientists at the University of Michigan say new research shows that Ultra Processed Foods or “UPF’s” - like chips, hot dogs, pop and sugary cereal are just as addictive as nicotine, cocaine and heroin. They say 14% of people are actually “Junk Food Addicts”.

- I’m not saying I have a problem… but I did break out in a cold sweat the other day when I ran out of “Yazzo” Frozen Chocolate Yogurt Bars. Boy are they good! (and available at Kroger!)

- … Not to mention… I’m also a certified Raisinette-aholic, too!

*****

Have a good day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Some bright news on a gloomy Thursday…

27 members of Oak Pointe Church in Novi… who had been on a trip to visit the Holy Sites of Israel when Hamas launched their deadly terrorist attacks on Saturday, have made it home safely!

Pastor Jon Morales, his wife Anna and a group of 25 others were traveling through the desert when they got word of the attacks. They made their way to a shelter in Jerusalem, where they stayed in hiding until arrangements could be made for their safe passage out of the country.

Eventually they were taken by bus to Amman, Jordan - where the group was split in two - with half flying to Dubai, and half to Qutar. From there… they were flown to Chicago where the groups were reunited before flying to Detroit where they landed safely last night!

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The Latest…

• Gaza in a complete blackout.

• Isreal & US confirm photos of atrocities against children

• New numbers from the White House: Hamas has killed at least 27 Americans.

• 14 Americans are unaccounted for/missing in Israel.

• Starting tomorrow, US Gov. will offer Charter flights out of Israel to places around Europe for U.S. citizens and their families. Also looking at ways out by land and sea.

• White House says they don’t know anything about the condition or location of hostages - nor does there appear to be a plan to go get them or to deploy US troops to the area.

As for the $6 BILLION that the US handed back to Iran last month as part of a Prisoner Swap that is being held in a bank in Qatar, there have been calls to RE-FREEZE those funds so they can’t be accessed by Iran (who backs/trains/finances Hamas). But the White House says that’s not happening. They say the money “will only be used for humanitarian aid - food, medicine, etc… for the Iranian people”.

Here’s the problem with that argument. Knowing they have an extra $6 BILLION in the bank … means Iran can spend their cash on Terror.

And so it goes…

See you back here Monday when hopefully we’ll be back to our usual topics!

-Dick & Jackie

Day 5…

As we continue to watch the horrific images coming out of Israel as they prepare for a full scale invasion of Gaza, US Officials have confirmed that 22 Americans have lost their lives and 17 are unaccounted for - and presumed taken hostage - during Hamas’s terrorist attacks.

US hostage negociators are reportedly in Israel to help get our people back… and Navy Seal Team 6 is said to be standing by to aid in any possible rescue/evacuation operations of American and Israeli hostages. The power and water has been cut in Gaza, rockets are flying in both directions, and - it was just announced that 9 UN staff members have been killed in a missile attack.

Amidst all this…. Questions still remain how the Terrorists were able to just walk (and parachute!) into one of the most secure nations on earth and unleash such barbarism??

It makes you wonder, If they could do it there… ??

Before the horrific attacks on Israel… one of the biggest issues here - that was really starting to get some attention - was the out of control situation at the US Southern Border. Day after day we saw pictures and videos of trucks and trains and lines and lines of people flooding into this Country.

I am 100% for legal immigration. LEGAL immigration. Our nation has a long and storied history of proud people coming here from around the world - seeking a better life. For example, my Dad came over from Europe on the HMS Carpathia when he was just 8 months old. That’s the same ship that went on to pick up the survivors of the Titanic. And of course everyone who came in had to register at Ellis Island in NY.

But that’s not the case with everyone who comes here anymore. I’m afraid what we are experiencing now is different. Hundreds of thousands of migrants from - according the to data I’ve seen - 183 different countries - flooding across our border with absolutely no vetting. No background checks. No anything.

And the numbers are staggering. The Homeland Security Department reported that just last month, Border Patrol Agents apprehended more than 210,000 migrants who crossed the souther border ILLEGALLY - that is, they “sneaked in” between official ports of entry. And, by the Homeland’s own admission, even if they are apprehended, most are given a court date years in the future and released into the US.

How about this: 151 people on the Terrorist Watch List have been arrested trying to cross our Southern Border so far this year … compared to just 15 in 2021.

Makes you wonder how many got in that they DIDN’T catch.

I guess my point is this:

We closed the border for Covid. For 19 Months. “To Save Lives”.

I think the least we can do now - and should have done already - is “Err on the side of caution”.

See you back here Thursday

-Dick

Citing an “Acute and immediate need”… the Biden Administration will waive 26 Federal laws to allow several miles of Border Wall to be built in South Texas. You might remember, President Biden called Trump’s wall “Racist” and vowed that “Not one foot of wall would be built” during a Biden Presidency.

- Well to quote one of Joe’s favorite expressions, Who’s the “lying’ dog face pony soldier” now??

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THIS JUST IN… Joe and Jill Biden's two-year-old German Shepherd, Commander, HAS BEEN REMOVED from the White House - after biting a 12th White House Staff Member this week.

- The reason they didn’t get rid of Commander when Hunter was living at the White House was that Hunter was always Hung Over and needed easy access to the “Hair of the Dog that Bit Him”.

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According to a WH spokesperson, Commander is not presently on the White House campus while “Next steps are evaluated”.

- “Next Steps”?? If I was Commander… I wouldn’t be accepting any invitations to go Paddleboarding at the Obamas place in Martha’s Vineyard anytime soon.

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According to a new survey, members of Gen Z (11 to 26 year olds) have a bad reputation for having poor communication skills at work.

- It’s true. I stopped at a lemonade stand over the summer… and instead of thanking me for the dollar I paid, the two little kids handed me an iPAD asking if I’d like to tip 15%, 20% or a “Custom Amount”.

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U.S. Congressman Henry Cuellar of Texas was Carjacked at gunpoint outside his Washington, D.C. apartment the other night by three armed gunmen.

- Cuellar said it was terrifying… but he finally understood what the American people feel like ever since the government started trying to take away their Gas Powered Cars.

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Thought looting was just a problem on land? Think again! Residents living on houseboats and yachts in the San Francisco Bay say they have to resort to physically fighting off seafaring bandits who are sneaking up on rowboats and ransackinging their ships.

- Wasn’t it Otis Reading who sang, “Sittin’ on the Dock of the bay… Watching the Pirates-with-my-big-screen-TV-float-away…” ??? Or something like that.

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Scientists report that remote workers can have a 54% lower Carbon Footprint than on-site employees.

- Am I the only one who doesn’t really understand this whole “Carbon Footrprint” thing? I’m still more worried about the effects of guys who wear black socks with shorts and sandals.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

It’s October 4th - and that can only mean one thing! It’s Actor Broderick Crawford Day! As a kid I loved watching his show, “Highway Patrol”… and how he’d sign off his Police radio transmissions with a brusque “10-4”! Thanks to all of you who called me over thru the years to remind me!!

It’s also the day that FEMA and the FCC will be conducting a Nationwide Test of the Emergency Alert System… This afternoon at approximentally 2:20pm, all TV’s Radios & Cell Phones will display a message that starts with “THIS IS A TEST of the Wireless Emergency Alert System. No Action is Needed”. There will also be the usual “tone” used during a test, so don’t panic. (The way things are going in the World… we’ll have plenty of time for that later!)

Speaking of panic…

Another crazy day in Washington, D.C. as a small group of Republicans backed by all the Democrats in Congress voted to oust Repub Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy. It’s the first time in history a Speaker has been forced from his role.

- Hey… If there looking for a “Speaker” that will do whatever you ask it to do… these day we go with "Alexa”!!

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Seriously… It turns out the Speaker doesn’t actually have to be a Member of Congress so people are throwing around all kinds of names as McCarthy’s replacement including… wait for it… DONALD TRUMP.

- Trump is said to be thinking it over while he’s in Court fighting some of the 91 Indictments against him.

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The NFL is being accused of relying too much on the Taylor Swift/KC Chief player Travis Kelce romance to boost ratings… with even Him admitting that cutting to shots of Her in the box cheering him on 17 TIMES during the game was “too much”.

- Maybe… but it’s still better than when we were all treated to those shots of Dennis Rodman canoodling Madonna.

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Scientists say that small amounts of venom from a Brazilian Wandering Spider could help treat Erectile Dysfunction.

- I don’t care how well it works, something tells me it’s gonna Frighten Miss Muffet Away.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Former Prez Trump is back in Court in today for day two of his Civil Fraud trial… Yesterday, courtroom staff were seen carrying six big bags of McDonald’s (Trump’s fav) into the courthouse during the lunch break.

- Trump was going to buy Pizza for everyone at the Courthouse… but it turns out Chris Christie had already already snapped up all the pies in NYC for his own pre-lunch snack.

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Hunter Biden was in court in Delaware this morning pleading NOT GUILTY to charges that he lied about being addicted to drugs when he bought a gun back in 2018. That comes after a plea deal fell apart this summer on tax and gun charges. If convicted on all charges… Hunter could face a maximum of 25 years in prison and fines up to $750,000.

- And I’d say the chances of Hunter going to the slammer for 25 years are about the same as the chances that Jack Smith drops all 91 counts against Donald Trump, invites him over for Thanksgiving, and buys him a “World’s Greatest President” Mug for Christmas.

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From the “I Didn’t See That One Coming Department”…

70 year old Vladimir Putin - who has been in office since 1999 - is set to announce that he WILL SEEK another six year term as President of Russia.

- It’s part of his “Make Communism Great Again” program.

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A new report says that more & more “Ant Enthusiasts” in Edmonton, Alberta are keeping the insects as pets.

- It’s not as easy as you think. I had an Ant Farm as a kid. And let me tell you… It was no picnic.

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Vanna White is missing from this week’s episodes of “Wheel of Fortune” because she tested positive for Covid.

- But Pat Sajak says Vann’a turned the corner and will be back to turning letters next week.

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In case you missed it, the Philadelphia Phillies denied an Emotional Support Alligator from entering their ballpark.

- What a croc.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick