Had a great time over the weekend… Went to see the annual “Glory of Christmas” show at Northridge Church in Plymouth. Broadway worthy! They’ve been doing it for 31 years and it’s really spectacular! Congrats to everyone who volunteers their amazing time and talents!

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Vivek Ramaswamy was caught on a hot mic using the bathroom during a broadcast that was live-streamed on “X” (formerly Twitter) with other celebs including Elon Musk.

- Well they said it was going to be “Live-streamed”. It’s nice to see some truth-n-advertising for a change!

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The world's second oldest woman has died at the age of 116 at a nursing home in Japan. Fusa Tatsumi, who was Japan's oldest person, passed away on Tuesday at a care facility in Osaka after eating her favorite meal of bean-paste jelly.

- Wow. She made it to 116 and still came in 2nd Place. See what can happen if you don’t exercise and eat right? !

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A recent survey finds that 87% of consumers believe “Unidentified Calls” that show up on their phone may be fraudulent… and don’t answer because it may be “people looking for money”.

- It’s true! Just this morning I let a bunch of calls go to voicemail… Two from my daughters and three from my Grandkids!

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Yet ANOTHER Swedish Cross-Country Skier recently froze his penis during a Race… the second one in the last couple weeks.

- Yet ANOTHER reason Men might want to STOP competing in WOMEN’s Sporting Events!

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Charlie Glenn, of Hamilton, Ohio says he does not want an apology from his ex-girlfriend and still has love for her, even after she shot him in the testicle for “no apparent reason”.

- Which reminds me… I don’t think I’ve heard Yorgi Yorggenson’s “I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas Time” yet this year!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Hunter Biden faces a nine count indictment – three felonies and six misdemeanors – for alleged tax crimes during 2016 to 2019… and could spend 17 years in Prison.

- He won’t, of course… But he COULD!

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A reporter went out and bought the same groceries that McCauley Culkin’s character in “Home Alone” bought for just under $20 in 1990, to see how much they’d cost today. The Total? More than $65 bucks. That’s an increase of 250%.

- To quote the movie clip McCauley plays on his TV to scare the Robbers, Joe Pesci and his partner, away from his house during the movie…. “Keep the Change, You Filthy Animal”.

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According to a new study, seeing a Co-worker sniffle immediately triggers your body to Prep for illness.

- A similar study found that seeing a Sander’s Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramel immediately triggers my body to Gain Weight.

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Government Officials are warning the public about a disturbing and “very sophisticated” gift card scam that has national and international implications.

- But I’m not worried. I’ve been emailing with a guy in Nigeria the last couple of weeks and he told me the whole “scam” angle is being completely overblown.

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The movie “Godzilla Minus One” has brought in $52 MILLION since its release in the US on December 1st… getting good reviews from both critics and movie goers.

- Critics expected the Godzilla movie to be a bomb. Not the Biggest Bomb to ever come out of Japan in December… but a bomb nonetheless.

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According to a new poll 41% of Gen Z (age 11 to 26) say it’s “important” to them that they have the best holiday decor in their neighborhood.

- This reminds me of when I was a kid… Every year my mother would put me in charge of putting the Tinsel on the Christmas Tree. And then, my Mother would re-do it !!

You gotta tradition!

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RIP… Ryan O’Neal, star of TV’s “Peyton Place”, and movies including "Love Story" and "Paper Moon" died Friday at age 82. No cause of death was given, but O’Neal had suffered from both Leukemia and Prostate Cancer. His daughter, actress Tatum O’Neal says she hopes he’s now reunited with his “longtime love” Farrah Fawcett who died in 2009. O’Neal and Fawcett were together for 17 years.

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

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For the first time since its release in 1958… Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" is the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100 chart! The holiday classic outperformed Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You," which came in at No. 2.

- Brenda Lee was just 13 years old when she recorded the song… meaning she’s 78 today. She’s still “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”… but now she does it with a Walker while wearing Compression Socks.

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This Saturday, Lifetime Network will debut “A Cowboy Christmas Romance”… the Channel’s first Christmas Movie to feature a Sex Scene.

- Well I guess we know who’s gonna end up on Santa’s “Naughty” list.

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A new report says that U.S. lawmakers are calling for more transparency when it comes to UFOs.

- I’m all for more transparency… with the exception of the Kardashian women. I think we’ve seen enough of them on the Internet.

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King Charles recently told world leaders that the warning signs of the Climate Crisis are being ignored and that the world is heading for “Dangerous Uncharted Territory.”

- Oh yeah? Well we told him that when Harry was about to marry Meghan… and Charles didn't do anything to stop THAT.

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Video game fans are reportedly freaking out after learning that the highly anticipated “Grand Theft Auto 6” doesn’t come out until 2025.

- 2025? Boy this really puts a dent in my Christmas Wish List!!

- So I’m just supposed to play “Grand Theft Auto 5” for another year????

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The director of the “Evil Dead” movies said he's making new installments of the franchise which feature flesh-possessing demons who wreak havoc on regular people, terrorizing their every moment.

- Merry Christmas!!!

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A new report says that the “Pop-Tarts Bowl” between the North Carolina State Wolfpack and Kansas State Wildcats will feature the first ever edible mascot. The winner of the matchup will get a very large toaster pastry.

- This reminds me of that one year they had the "Fiber One Bowl". If I remember correctly... It was a real blowout.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

1 Comment

Oxford University Press has announced that the Oxford Word of the Year for 2023 is…

Rizz. You read that right. “Rizz”.

I’m just gonna say it. I’ve never heard that word in my life. So I looked it up… Rizz is defined as “Style, charm or attractiveness” and as “the ability to attract a romantic or sexual partner”.

Personally… I’d say Jennifer Aniston and Charlize Theron have “Rizz”. But that’s just me…

- “Rizz” just doesn’t sound that attractive. I mean, “Plop, Plop… Rizz, Rizz… Oh, How Pretty She Is… “ just doesn’t work for me.

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Climate Czar John Kerry appeared to have "Broken Wind" during one of his "Climate Change" talks in Dubai yesterday. He was in the middle of equating the Climate Crisis with increased deaths when an audible bleating noise was heard.

- Maybe John should stop worrying about SUV emissions and worry about his own.

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The story even made international headlines... with the British paper, TheDailyMail.com calling the Flatulence episode a "Bottom Burp".

- I've never heard it called a “Bottom Burp” before. It's got a much nicer ring to it than most of the terms my son-in-laws usually use to describe it.

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HBO Films has optioned the rights to a new book that details the short-lived Political Career of Congressman George Santos. For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Santos was kicked out of Congress last week for ethics violations for lying about his past.

- Well if "Lying" is the standard to make a movie about a Congressman... then C-SPAN is the new Netflix.

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According to a new survey by WalletHub, more than 1 in 3 Americans are foregoing Christmas gifts this year due to inflation.

- That’s fine! Because all I want this year is a chance to have my Medicare Part B coverage reviewed to see if my doctor is in network… and luckily, from what they tell me on TV, operators are STANDING BY RIGHT NOW to let me know if special benefits are available in my area!!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Michigan’s headed to the Rose Bowl where they’ll play Alabama… Washington will face Texas, then the winners of those games will face off for the National Championship! GO BLUE!!!

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Billy Crystal, Dionne Warwick and Bee Gee Brother Barry Gibb were among the five artists named as Kennedy Center Honorees by President Biden at the White House Sunday night. The group was honored for their contributions to shaping the “very soul of then nation”.

- Dionne Warwick said she had “no idea” she was even nominated for the award… which doesn’t speak to highly of her “Psychic Hotline”.

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This week, Slider-fans camped out for twelve hours to be the first people inside the new White Castle restaurant location in Tempe, Arizona.

- Historians say the last time someone worked that hard to get in a Castle, Meghan Markle was trying to get Prince Harry to Marry her.

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Speaking of Wedded Bliss…

Sanitation workers in New Hampshire went digging through 20 tons of trash to locate a resident's lost wedding ring.

- But it was all worth it when they emerged from the dump with the ring… and the bride gave them the finger… ya know… to put it on.

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Washington, D.C., is continuing to see a steady increase in crime with over 900 carjackings reported in the district so far this year.

- Wow… They’re REALLY GOOD at Stealing in D.C.! And now they’ve got all those carjackers, too!

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A stretch of highway in Ohio was closed when two-semi’s carrying candy collided, leaving the freeway covered in Caramel and Chocolate.

- Say, that would make a really good candy bar! I can hear it now… “Get your Twix… on Route 66”

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

The heir of the Woke Anheuser-Busch Beer Company- that lost TENS OF BILLIONS of $$$ during the Dylan Mulvaney Trans-Woman Beer Ad disaster, has put his mansion in Malibu, California, up for sale for $4.45 MILLION.

- The house has 6 Bedrooms and 7 and 1/2 Gender Neutral Bathrooms.

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Elon Musk said that Advertisers like Disney, NBC, and others who have pulled advertising off "X" over his Free Speech policies can go "Go BLANK Yourselves”.

- Well I guess that’s an example of that “Free Speech” he’s talkin’ about, right there!

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Ron DeSantis and Gavin Newsom will finally face-off in a highly anticipated debate on Fox News Thursday night.

- So the guy who's 40 points behind the GOP leader is debating another guy who says he's NOT EVEN RUNNING... Do I have that right???

- Or, if you look at it another way, The Governor of the State people are LEAVING (California) is debating the Governor of the State people are leaving to GO TO (Florida)... Get the Popcorn! This is gonna be fun!

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A Florida man was busted for soliciting a prostitute after he offered to pay an undercover cop with a Hamburger.

- Unfortunately, giving the Hooker a Hamburger didn't magically turn it into a "Happy Meal" like he'd hoped.

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Before her death in 1996, A psychic from Bulgaria, who reportedly predicted 9/11 and the Covid-19 pandemic, forecast that 2024 will be a year filled will "Dark Events" including a major economic crisis, biological attacks and an assassination attempt on Vladimir Putin.

- I don’t mean to knock her "Credentials”… but the way things are going these days, I don’t think you need to be a Bulgarean Psychic to figure out things are going in the WRONG DIRECTION!

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According to a new study, a “Positive Personality” may be all you need to prevent dementia.

- Well that rules most of the ladies on “The View”.

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“Oppenheimer” has become the new Cabbage Patch Kid or Buzz Lightyear of the 2023 Christmas Season, with shoppers buying them up faster than retailers can keep them in stock.

- What a sad commentary on life today... When the "Feel Good Christmas Gift of the Season" is a Movie about dropping the Atomic Bomb!!

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RIP… Henry Kissinger, who shaped America’s Cold War Policies, died yesterday at the age of 100.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Harvard will offer a new class next term called "Taylor Swift and Her World" - which will take students on a "Deep dive into Swift's music, lyrics and their impact on today's culture".

- It’ll make a great companion class to this term’s offering “How to Date a Professional Football Player”.

- In the old days, I couldn’t get into Harvard because I wasn’t Smart enough. Now I’m Smart enough to advise my Granddaughters not to take that class.

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Daryl Hall has filed a lawsuit and RESTRAINING ORDER against his long-time partner John Oates in a dispute concerning sales of their extensive music catalog.

- Turns out Oats wanted to Sell the Catalog to some "Rich Girl" and Hall was like, "I Can't Go For That".

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Security footage shows two dogs ripping apart cars at a dealership in Houston, Texas.

- The cars have been repaired, but let's just say that due to some of the Canine Criminals handiwork, the vehicles no longer have that "New Car Smell".

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A Georgia man was taken into custody by Sheriff’s Deputies after he got high on mushrooms, put on a yellow chicken suit and started yelling at passing cars.

- NOTE TO GUY IN CHICKEN SUIT: Next time: Glue yourself to the road and start complaining about CLIMATE CHANGE!!! They’ll LET YOU GO!!!!

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On Friday, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un examined photos from his nation's first spy satellite.

- He was so proud because it only took two weeks to get the pics back now that North Korea has upgraded it's technology to include a new Fotomat Kiosk in the parking lot at the Pyonyang Outlet Mall.

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A recent report says that some stores and chains in the U.K. and Canada are ditching self-checkout machines and returning to traditional cashiers.

- And with all the crime in American Cities these days, stores here are going to ditch BOTH Cashiers AND Self-Checkout Machines to make it easier for the Looters to get to the front door with their Free Stuff!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Wishing you a Wonderful Holiday with Family & Friends!

-Dick & Jackie

Tomorrow’s the Big Day! Thanksgiving!

FYI… I’m going to keep today’s blog short because I’ve got a lot of peeling, chopping, dicing, stuffing, spooning, leveling, whisking, baking, frosting, basting, simmering, & roasting to do to get ready!

Well… To be honest… I don’t do any of those things. It’s just a regular day for me.

But I do have one very important job tomorrow: PRE-HEATING. That’s right… I’m in charge of Preheating the Oven.

It may not seem like much… but technically it’s the key to the WHOLE OPERATION! Without my part… there would be no Thanksgiving Dinner! You’re welcome!

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Speaking of that… Just a reminder… If you have any questions about your Bird… the Butterball Turkey Talk Line is up and running! Just call 1-800-BUTTERBALL! You can also go to Butterball.com where they have experts on hand to offer advice and provide cooks with “Emotional Support”.

- Call me crazy… but I’m thinking the TURKEY’s need the “Emotional Support” more than the COOKS do…

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A Hawaiian woman has been ordered to pay nearly $39,000 in restitution to American Airlines for swearing at a flight crew and will be prohibited from flying for the next three years.

- The fine seems excessive… but the way air travel is these days, the “No flying for 3 years” thing almost seems like a GIFT!

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A British tourist was knocked unconscious after a group of 20 Thai lapdancers began fighting over him at a Strip Club.

- This gives a whole new meaning to “Thai-ing one on”.

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Some Mashed Potatoes, Cranberry Sauce and a Turkey walk into a bar and order drinks.

The bartender says to the Mashed Potatoes… “I’m giving you this beer because I can see you’ve taken your lumps and I think you deserve it”.

“And for you, Mr. Cranberry… a Shot… because I can see you enjoy getting “Sauced”.

Finally, the Bartender looks at the Turkey, pushes a bottle of Vodka in front of him and says, “This is for you. It’s a reward for always sticking your neck out”.

And the Turkey says “Bada Boom!”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow… Thanksgiving!

-Dick

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NOTE: Seems hard to believe… but today is the 60th Anniversary of the Assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Aldi Foodstores is opening it’s first ever bottomless Pigs-in-a-Blanket restaurant in the U.K… where you can get an endless supply of Sausages wrapped in Bacon for one low price.

- And that price is: A Heart Attack.

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We’re just 2 days away from Thanksgiving...

Why didn't the Turkey cross the Road?

- He saw what happened to the Chicken.

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With all of the focus on Thanksgiving, let's not forget what comes next... "Black Friday"...the official kick off of the Christmas shopping season

A lot of people don't know this, but on the Friday after the first Thanksgiving, Pocahontas got in a fist fight with a Pilgrim lady at the "Kohl's of Plymouth". They were both reaching for the same pair of Cuddle Duds Flannel Christmas Pajamas... when the fists - and arrows - started flying.

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Over the weekend in Paris, a hat worn by Napoléon Bonaparte sold for $2.1 million at auction.

- Not sure it’s REAL, though, since it had “Make Paris Great Again” sewn into the front of the cap.

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A US Navy reconnaissance jet with nine crew members aboard crashed into water off the Hawaiian island of Oahu on Monday after OVERSHOOTING THE RUNWAY at a US Marine Corps base. Thankfully, there were no serious injuries.

- But, as the air escaped from the plane into the beautiful blue Hawaii waters… there were a lot of “Tiny Bubbles”.

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According to a new survey, 48 percent of Americans admit that they’ve have attended a Holiday party just for the food.

- Yes… and??

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Happy Birthday to President Biden who turns 81 today. The Birthday Boy spent the morning Pardoning “Liberty” and “Bell”… two Turkeys who will be “Spared” this Thanksgiving.

- The ceremony went off without a hitch until he also accidentally pardoned Chris Christie.

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Airlines are bracing for record Thanksgiving travel over the Thanksgiving Holiday with more than 30 Million Americans expected to be patted down by TSA agents at the nation's airports.

- If you want to avoid the hassle of having to show ID, being x-rayed and being felt-up by an armed security guard, you can always just walk in through the southern border and get a FREE flight to Grandma's house no questions asked.

- Of course you might get “patted down” by your Crazy inebriated Uncle…

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A cargo plane leaving New York's John F. Kennedy Airport had to turn around shortly after take-off when a horse got loose and began walking up the aisle on board.

- Apparently the Horse insisted on using the restroom in First Class… but only had a ticket for (Stage) Coach.

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The US Postal Service reported a $6.5 billion net loss for the 12 months ending September 30th and said it will not break-even next year.

- They sent out a letter with all the details… but naturally it got lost in the mail.

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According to a new report, so called “Porch Pirates” are expected to steal upwards of $74 BILLION worth of packages from front porches during the holiday season this year.

- And that’s if they just pick up the packages of cash the White House has sent to Ukrainian President Zelensky in Ukraine!

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According to a new report by Pew Research Center, Americans’ trust in science and scientists has dropped signigificantly since the start of the Covid Pandemic.

- Read all about it in the new book, “Curious George Wonders Whether He REALLY Needs That 47th Covid Booster”.

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RIP… Rosalynn Carter… Former First Lady & wife of President Jimmy Carter has died at 96 at the couple’s home in Plains, Georgia. The former first lady, who was a life-long champion of mental health, caregiving, & women’s rights, died surrounded by family and friends. In a statement released Sunday, former President Carter called his wife "my equal partner in everything I ever accomplished… As long as Rosalynn was in the world, I always knew somebody loved and supported me.”

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

The new superhero movie “The Marvels” has been a dissppointment at the box office. It features “Kamala Khan” - a teammate of “Captain Marvel”.

- Her character is, of course, based on “Kamala Harris” - a teammate of “Captain Confusion”.

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I read an article that said cutting just 12% of calories from your diet can help you build healthier muscles and slow down aging.

- So I figured, this sounds easy, right? So I take a $100,000 Candy Bar we had left over from Halloween and I figure I’ll cut off 12% of that… so I get out a pair of scissors and I start trimming the candy bar until I cut off what I figure is about $12 Grand worth of Chocolate, Caramel and Crispies and then eat the remaining 88%. Did my muscles get any bigger?? No. Did I stop aging? I don’t think so. Did I end up making a huge mess and then eating the parts I cut off the candy bar anyway?? You better believe it!!

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Disney theme parks have been so packed, that riders at Disneyland and Disney World have been “relieving themselves” while standing in line, according to eyewitness accounts posted on social media.

- With many of the women commenting… “It really IS a Small World, After all”.

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Two Girl Scout Troop leaders have been charged with embezzling more than $20,000 from an Ann Arbor Girl Scout Troop.

- On a bright note... each of the Troop Leaders will receive a special "Embezzlement Badge"!

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Animal rescuers on Long Island, New York had to rescue an Owl that got itself trapped in the front grille of a car.

- Not a very Wise move on the Owls part. I'm just sayin'...

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A new report says that traces of cannabis in human bones suggest 17th-century Italians were recreational pot users.

- “When the Moon hits your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie… That’s the Munchies!”

- Well this explains how Michaelangelo painted the celling of the Sistine Chapel… he was HIGH.

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Thanksgiving is one week from day… a survey found that the LEAST popular dish to grace most American’s Thanksgiving table is…. Cranberry Sauce.

- I have to throw a flag on the play on this one! I LOVE Cranberry sauce! And I’m old school - I like it the old fashioned way - Straight out of the Ocean Spray Can!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

Dick

President Biden and Chinese President Xi are meeting in San Francisco today. The White House says the goal of the meeting is to ease tensions and normalize communications with the Communist Super Power.

- That… and Joe’s hoping to get Xi to give him the “Ancient Chinese Secret” to getting his laundry so clean!

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Barbara Streisand says she will leave the United States if Donald Trump is elected President in 2024.

- In related news…. She offered to perform LIVE at the Innauguration if Joe and Kamala win. Which is great! I haven’t heard “Send in the Clowns” in FOREVER!

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According to a new survey, Cannabis users say the drug improves their sleep better than supplements like Melatonin.

- But according to former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee… nothing will get you the good nights sleep you need like RELAXIUM!!!!

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A New York Post article claims that there’s an estimated $32 BILLION worth of treasure lying at the bottom of the sea inside of Sunken Ships.

- As soon as the news broke… two things happended instantly: 1) Congress tried to TAX the Money. And 2) Urkranian President Zelensky tried to BORROW it.

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A new poll finds that the British are among the world’s biggest binge drinkers… with British Men AND Women binge drinking more than their Irish counterparts.

- When the Irish heard the news, they were so depressed, they drank themselves into a stupor, sang a couple verses of “Danny Boy” and passed out.

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A CVS location in Washington DC was forced to wipe its shelves clean of toilet paper and replace them instead with framed photos of the products amid rising thefts in the country’s capital.

- It’s working out okay so far… but Note to Consumers: Be careful!!! The edges of those picture frames aren’t nearly as soft as the Charmin you’re used to!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Crazy night last night… with the Republican Debate on one Channel… the Country Music Awards on another.

- You know things are bad when the lyrics to the Country Songs are less depressing than the Speeches at the Debate.

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A Canadian family welcomed a bouncing baby boy last month — who weighed a whopping 14 1bs. 8 ounces. "It was a mind-blowing experience," said the baby’s father, “It was like… winning the Stanley Cup. Everybody was jumping and screaming. It was fun."

- I’m not sure “Fun” is the word the MOM used to describe it… but, okay… we’ll go with that.

“Sonny”… the couple’s fifth child was actually delivered by C-Section because 2 of the couples older children had tipped the scales at 13 pounds each.

- Basically the Mom told her OB, “When push comes to shove… I’m NOT DOING any of the pushing or shoving anymore!!”

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A new survey found that when dining out, 53% of people experience “Food Envy,” … wishing they had ordered what someone else is enjoying.

- And the #1 most “Envied” item is the one Meg Ryan was having in “When Harry Met Sally”.

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A Deer crashed through the front window of the “Curvaceous” lingerie store in Lansing and did some browsing before finding its way back outside.

- The deer has not been identified, but I’m better her name was “Vixen” or “Dancer”.

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A new survey finds that many people suffer from “Tattoo Regret”… with tattoos on the Forearm getting the most post-ink second-thoughts.

- Well, there was one woman who got “Two Door Convertible” tattooed on her Chest when she was twenty… and said by the time she was 80… she needed to have it “fixed” to read “FOUR ON THE FLOOR”.

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A new version of the Burt Reynolds football comedy “The Longest Yard” will be headed to theaters in 2024.

- In my opinion… “The Longest Yard” EVER was the front yard of the house I grew up in in Kenmore, New York when my Dad made me get out of bed every Saturday to mow.

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During a recent diving exploration, there were roughly 50,000 bronze coins found dating back to the 4th century AD off the coast of Sardinia in Italy.

- Thus the famous song… “50,000 Coins Close to the Fountain”.

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As promised… Here’s the video of 11 year old Lia Lucci singing at Andiamos last Friday night. I was there when she got picked from the audience to sing during David Foster’s show there last week and Lia was so good, they invited her back to perform during Frankie Scinta’s show two nights later! In the clip, she’s singing, “I Will Always Love You”. It was a hit for Whitney Houston - and I’m thinking Lia’s version is a Winner, too.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

People Magazine announced their “Sexiest Man Alive” for 2023 and the Winner is… Patrick Dempsey aka the former “Dr. McDreamy” from Grey’s Anatomy… the Medical Drama he left in 2015.

I had lunch with him one day in the cafeteria at Sinai Hospital in Detroit. The idea was to see how long it would take for the Nurses to realize that “Dr. McDreamy” was sitting across from me having lunch.

Let’s just say within five minutes “Dr. McDreamy” had more Nurses attending to him that an ICU patient during a Code Blue… and “Dr. McDiscJockey” (that’s me) was left sitting eating my cup of Sugar-Free Jell-O.

It’s not easy being the Wingman for the “Sexiest Man Alive”… but somebody’s gotta do it!

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The last “new” Beatles song, “Now and Then,” was released last week… using Artificial Intelligence to separate out John Lennon's vocal tracks, then incorporating Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr's musical additions.

- I was curious about the whole “AI” thing… but it turns out, even “Artificial Intelligence” was smart enough to edit Yoko Ono’s vocals out of the final mix!

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An Oregon jury awarded a man $1.4 MILLION after he claimed his landlord stole his pet cat following the feline’s mysterious disappearance.

- The man wasn’t supposed to reveal the amount of the settlement… but he let the Cat out of the bag.

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The Oregon Department of Education just decided that basic “Reading, Writing and ‘rithmetic” are not required for students to get a high school diploma. They just voted to extended a rule - put in place during the pandemic - that gets rid of PASSING GRADES as a requirement to Graduate from High School through 2028.

- I guess it makes sense. How much Education do you need to make a Sign and Protest something you know absolutely NOTHING about??

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After the great response we got to the pic and story about 11 year old Detroit singer Lia Lucci yesterday… Her Dad sent me a video of her singing “I Will Always Love You” at Andiamo’s last Friday Night during Las Vegas star Frankie Scinta’s show, and I’m going to post it at the end of the blog tomorrow! She’s a great kid with an amazing voice!!!

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Had the chance to see two great shows at Andiamo Celebrity Show Room in Warren last week… David Foster & Katherine McPhee on Wednesday, then Frankie Scinta on Friday. But the real star of the show BOTH nights was the amazing little girl you see with me in the pic. That’s Lia Lucci, 11, a local girl who happened to be in the audience with her parents at the David Foster show Wednesday and got a chance to sing Whitney Houston and Dolly Parton’s hit “I Will Always Love You”. To say Miss Lucci was astounding is an understatement. She was incredible… and they invited her back to perform with Frankie on Friday. Remember her name: Lia Lucci. She’s going places!!!

FYI… “I Will Always Love You” was actually written and recorded by Dolly Parton in 1973… before Whitney Houston asked Dolly if she could record it - which she did and had a HUGE hit with it in 1992. It almost got the “Royal Treatment”… when Elvis asked Dolly if HE could record the song… but, believe it or not, Dolly turned him down!

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A new study out of Canada found that Birth Control Pills alter the part of Women’s brains responsible for Emotion, Anxiety and Fear… and might make them more likely to “take risks”.

- Well I can think of ONE risk taking the Pill is gonna make them more willing to take.

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Four men have been charged for stealing a $6 MILLION 18-carat solid gold toilet stolen from the home where Winston Churchill was born in 1874.

- In the words of Winston himself… “This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Maybe he WASN’T talking about WWII… Maybe he was foretelling this whole toilet theft thing… “And when the waves of Tourists begin to arrive in years to come… they’ll have a place to put their End” !!!

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A biologically female author from Toronto who came out as a transgender man last August after his now wife (who was his husband for 19 years) - came out as a trans woman - has announced that their son is now their daughter and they are now in a four way open-relationship with their respective trans lovers.

- Just in time for the Holidays!

- I’d love to be a fly on the wall when they try to figure out the “Secret Santa” exchange in THAT family!

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According to a new survey, 4 in 10 parents admit they don’t want to be like their own Parents.

- The other 6 in 10 couldn't be reached for comment as they were outside yelling at the neighborhood kids to get offa their lawn.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

The liberal mayors of NYC, Chicago, Denver, Houston and LA are teaming up to demand that the Biden administration step in and pony up $5 BILLION in taxpayer $$$ to cover the costs of taking care of migrants after those Mayors THEMSELVES declared they were "Sanctuary Cities".

- Okay..... Here's another idea: NO.

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Willie Nelson is bringing something new to Michigan and it's not music... Starting next Wednesday, "Willie's Reserve"... Nelson's personal line of Cannabis products go on sale in select dispensaries around the state.

- Hear more details in Willies new song, "To All the Joints I've Rolled Before".

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77 year old Cher says she and her 37 year old boyfriend Alexander "A.E." Edwards have a great relationship, but admits that - with a 40 year age difference between them, he doesn't always get her references.

- For example, when Cher mentions “Sonny Bono” he thinks she talking about the Weather Forecast.

- And she thinks “Kaitlyn & Bruce” Jenner used to be married. (Perhaps you already know this… but Kaitlyn and Bruce ARE THE SAME PERSON as I understand it)

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A huge, scared Black Bear climbed into a tree near Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom, forcing more than a dozen attractions and rides to close down temporarily.

- Apparently the bear freaked out after he had a few too many drinks during dinner at the Country Bear Jamboree and woke up next to Sleeping Beauty.

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An Indian man who has been separated from his wife for nearly 40 YEARS and has been trying to divorce her for 27 YEARS had his request for divorce dismissed by the Supreme Court.

- Why the rush?

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An Iowa man thought he was pretty clever when he tried to get out of an Indecent Exposure charge by telling police that he wasn't actually "Pleasuring Himself" as he walked around a busy Target store, but rather was playing with a sex toy he had hidden in his shorts. But police didn't buy his story and he was arrested.

- The man's wife said she was shocked... saying, "He'a a quiet guy... It's not like him to walk around Tooting his own horn".

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Wednesday night, Jennifer, Jackie, JoAnne and Jessica and I went to the Andiamo Showroom in Warren to see David Foster and his wife Katherine McPhee. (The girls had gotten me tix for my Birthday present!) What a show! He’s written and produced more songs than you can count… for everyone from Celine Dion and Josh Grobin to Chicago, Michael Jackson and Peter Cetera. He played piano and she sang with a fabulous orchestra behind them. I’d say go see ‘em tonight… but they’re sold out again!

Note: I’m posting the video of “The Prayer”, the song David and Carol Bayer Sager wrote for Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli. Enjoy!

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RIP… Bobby Knight, longtime Basketball Coach at Indiana who died yesterday at age 83.

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Monday, President Biden signed an Executive Order designed to curb threats stemming from the rise of AI… and now we know why: A White House Spokesperson says the Prez watched Tom Cruise’s
”Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning” and got worried about Computers taking over. (True!)

- Uh oh. I heard he also watched, “The Wizard of Oz”… so look for a new Ban on Flying Houses & Scarecrows.

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Pharmacists protesting poor working conditions walked out of Walgreens and CVS stores around the country Monday.

- It would be a hard pill to swallow… if only there was someone to fill your prescription!

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Hundreds of years after the “Salem Witch Trials relatives are trying to have the women’s conviction’s overturned and their names cleared.

- Back then, the women considered “Witches” were arrested and put to death. In modern times, they’d get a TV show called, “The Real Housewives of Salem, Massachusetts”.

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The Internet is full of “Hacks”… Ways to improve your life with simple “tricks”.

For example, today I read that the best way to get your sneakers extra clean is by “Brushing Them” with White Toothpaste.

- Question: They didn’t mention it, but should I Floss the eyelet holes where the laces go too?

- I usually use Crest toothpaste (Colgate globs up too much at the tip of the tube) for my teeth - but I have a blister on my heel from trick or treating so when I clean my sneakers today… I’m gonna use Sensodyne.

- When I was growing up, I had an Aunt and Uncle named Tom & Eilah. But I always called them “Tom & Eyelet” because my Mother had told me that was the “Proper name” for the lace holes in my shoes and I figured I should use the “Proper name” for my Aunt”. What did I know? I was a kid! I was only 18!

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And then I read Hack #2:

Always eat your hamburger upside down. Why? Because the top bun - which is technically called the “Crown” - is thicker than the bottom.

- Come to think of it… That’s the exact Opposite of my Aunt Eilah.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

It’s Halloween! I’m no Genius… but being a Dad myself, I know what Trick or Treaters like and I’m here for it! In keeping with tradition, I’ll be at my front door tonight, ladle in hand, waiting to hand out a delicious scoop of fresh, hot Chunky Beef Soup to each little ghost or goblin that comes by!!! 🎃👻

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PICTURED: Me gettin’ out of bed on the first morning after retiring. Didn’t have to comb my hair that day! Pretty sharp, huh?

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Americans spent $3.7 billion on Halloween candy last year… and this year is set to go even higher. The unexpected big seller in 2023: Marshmallow Peeps.

- Not making the list again this year: Chocolate Covered Pickled Pigs Feet (Dark Chocolate - if you’re “health -conscious).

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England’s Royal Family claims “ghosts” that haunt many of the families castles and cottages make everyday seem like Halloween. Over the years, members of the family - including Camilla - claim they were terrified when they “felt” or “saw” the ghosts of former residents.

- They say it was almost as bad as their first Christmas with Meghan Markle.

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Question: What was Andy William’s Second Favorite Holiday and Why?

Answer: Halloween! Because It’s The Ghost Wonderful Time of the Year! (Bada Boom)

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Why did Yogi Bear wear a Band-Aid as his Halloween Costume?

- He wanted to go as his friend “Boo-Boo”!

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The Transportation Security Administration says marijuana was discovered in a woman's adult diaper at an airport checkpoint.

- Question: What was the woman wearing at the time? It Depends!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow…

-Dick

Love to my high school sweetheart, first wife and mother of my six daughters, Gail, who we lost five years ago today. Miss you today and everyday…❤️

a

Matthew Perry - who played Chandler Bing on the hit sit-com “Friends” has died at just 54 from an apparent drowning in a hot tub at his California home.

Perry shot to fame in the 90’s as part of the ensemble cast that included Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox and the other “Friends”… but struggled with a severe addiction to alcohol and drugs that led him to more than a dozen trips to rehab and $9 MILLION spent trying to get sober.

Perry eventually did overcome his addictions - and wrote about his struggles in his book, “Friends, Lovers and the Big, Terrible Thing”.

Interesting Facts about Matthew Perry

- Many in the industry consider him a brilliant comedic actor

- He was born in Canada and went to elementary school with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

- Dated Julia Roberts in the 1990’s - but HE broke up with HER - because he was afraid he wasn’t good enough for her.

- Although he never married, was said to “long for a wife and kids”.

- His Step-Dad is Keith Morrison (also Canadian) - host of NBC’s “Dateline”.

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VP Kamala Harris raised eyebrows on 60 Minutes Sunday night… When asked about stepping in if Biden opted not to run for re-election in 2024. She replied: 'Well, first of all, I'm not gonna engage in that hypothetical, because Joe Biden is Very Much Alive and is running for re-election”.

- Well that’s good to hear.

- Most politician like to say they’ve got the “Pulse of the Nation”… Kamala’s busy making just making sure the President has a Pulse!

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Late last night, the judge in Trump’s Election Interference Case Re-Imposed the Gag Order against him. An hour later, the former Prez tweeted that former AG Bill Barr is, “Dumb, Weak, Slow Moving, Lethargic, Gutless, and Lazy”.

- Well… 5 out of 6 ain’t bad!

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Taylor Swift broke her own Spotify record for the “Most-Streamed” Artist in a single day.

- Speaking of “Streaming”… I saw a commercial for “Flowmax” last night where a bunch of guys are kayaking down a river and they're all laughing. Maybe it’s because they all just “went” in the River like everybody else does???

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday! Halloween!

-Dick

P.S. Happy Birthday to my #3 Daughter Jill today!!!