A new poll finds 2 in 5 Americans will experience “Daylight Saving Anxiety” when getting ready to set our clocks back an hour on Sunday, November 3rd.

- Well, Duh… That means we have to wait ANOTHER HOUR to find out who won the election on Tuesday, November 5th. Like this thing hasn’t gone on long enough…

*****

During a speech yesterday, President Biden said that we need to lock former President Trump up in Prison.

-Well that is a step down from trying to take him out completely!

-*****

To keep traffic flowing... a New Zealand airport posted a sign in its drop-off zone asking passengers and their drivers to limit their farewell hugs to a maximum of three minutes.

- By next week, the airlines will be allowing you one free hug and kiss if you’re in Business Class - but if you fly economy, you’re gonna have to pay extra for a hug or check your emotions at the gate.

*****

A recent study found that superhero movies can promote prosocial behavior — actions that benefits other people or society.

For example, Superman can inspire people to do do Super-Human feats... and Batman inspires guys to wear tights, a cape and drive around in a convertible chasing a giant Penguin.

*****

Authorities in Hong Kong say they arrested an older man on suspicion of indecent exposure after residents reported seeing him exercising in a public park in the nude.

-Wait… that’s not something you’re supposed to do? (Asking for a friend)

*****

During a recent interview, Patriots Owner Robert Kraft revealed how Tom Brady broke the news that he was leaving the team back in 2020. Kraft said that Brady came over to his house and started crying.

- That’s the same thing players used to do when they found out they been drafted by the Lions.

NOTICE I said USED TO DO!!!!! That was THEN. This is NOW!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

A new survey finds that an overwhelming majority of teens and young adults are worried about how climate change will affect their future.

My friends and I didn’t worry about “Climate Change” We called it “Weather”. Hot in the Summer. Cold in the Winter. As long as we had a Hose and a Shovel… we were good.

*****

Kamala Harris is taking heat for holding a Town Hall Meeting that only allowed “Pre-determined” questions to be asked… in other words - another scripted event. NBC’s Maria Shriver was forced to admit it to the audience when asked live on the air by a viewer.

- Well as long as we can get Putin and Xi to agree to submit questions/statements ahead of time, you know before any bombings/nuclear attacks that kind of thing… we should be cool if she wins, right?

*****

Medical researchers say music might do more than just lift your spirits – it could actually help you recover faster after surgery.

For instance if you’re having Gallbladder surgery… you might want to listen to The Rolling Stones.

*****

A study of 2,000 nationally representative Americans revealed that 36 days of our year are lost to scrolling, streaming, and bingeing content on our phones, computers and TVs.

- I keep this blog short so I only waste a few minutes of your time. Your welcome.

*****

An Idaho man set a Guinness World Record by blowing a playing card across a room 33 feet in a single breath.

-What’s the Deal with that?

*****

Congrats to Britney Spears who says she’s “Married Herself”… The troubled pop star posted a photo of herself wearing a white silk nightgown and a lace veil in the living room of her mansion. This is Brittney’s 4th marriage.

-And sadly, at this point, I’m pretty sure she’s registered at ‘Bed, Bath and Beyond Need of an Intervention”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

It’s International Day of the Nacho. I Say Order Extra Refried Beans and Let the Chips Fall Where they May!!!

*****

Donald Trump told a story about Arnold Palmer at a rally in Pennsylvania that ended with the former Commander-in-Chief insinuating that the Golf legend’s manhood was legendary.

Apparently Arnold Palmer was a real Milton Berle.

*****

Speaking of Trump... Cars lined up for blocks as he donned an apron, made Fries & worked the drive thru window of a McDonald's in Pennsylvania Sunday.

- Not to be outdone... the Harris Campaign announced that later today, Kamala will be doing Five Guys. Wait... That didn't come out right...

*****

Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback Patrick Mahomes says that Taylor Swift bakes with his 3-year-old daughter.

- And he said when they get flour all over themselves you know what Taylor tells his daughter to do?

Get a towel. (You thought I was going to say “Shake it off” Didn’t you? One of her biggest hits)

*****

Delta Airlines is giving its cabin interiors a fresh look with new seat fabrics, mood lighting throughout the plane, and memory-foam cushioning in some cabins.

- Opening the door on a whole new way of traveling. I just don’t want the doors to open "while" you're traveling.

*****

“Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur” has been cancelled.

Which begs the question … what is “Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur?!”

Apparently, the plot revolves around a young super-genius who accidentally brings a ten-ton T-Rex “Devil Dinosaur” into present-day New York City via a time vortex.

- Great. Now New York is a Sanctuary City for DINOSAURS, too??

*****

RIP... Rob Kress... Red-headed Meteorologist and part of the Channel 7 News Team that included icons like Bill Bonds, Diana Lewis, Doris Biscoe & Jerry Hodak back in the 1970's and 80's has died. His family said he died peacefully at his home in Grosse Pointe on September 28th. He was 77.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Kamala Harris’s interview with Bret Baier Wednesday night - her first with Fox News - is being described as “adversarial” and “testy”. Here’s how it went down: According to Baier, Kamala showed up 17 minutes after the agreed 5pm start time. That meant they only had 20 minutes instead of the agreed to 30 in order to get the interview done and turned around in order to broadcast at 6pm. At the end, he said 4 of Harris’s staffers were waving their arms for him to “wrap it up” quickly. Either Kamala didn’t want to answer anymore tough questions Or those 4 guys had to go to the bathroom.

*****

The owner of Lay’s, Doritos, Tostitos, and Ruffles say they’ll start putting more chips in some bags to bring back customers tired of higher prices with skimpier bags - what experts call - “Shrinkflation”.

-Not to be confused with “Shrinkage” which happens!!

*****

Former President Jimmy Carter fulfilled his rumored wish of living long enough to cast a vote for Vice President Kamala Harris… when he voted early at the age of 100 in Georgia this week.

- And, of course if he dies before the election… he’s going to vote for her again.

*****

According to a new survey, 68% of U.S. Adults say they support Banning Cell Phone use by High School Students in the classroom.

Without the distraction of phones, it’s easier to stay focused on learning and having sex with the teacher!

*****

Taylor Swift announced that she will release a book documenting her Eras Concert Tour next month.

- She’s making it a Picture Book so her boyfriend Travis Kelce and his football player friends can read along, too!

*****

Rapper 50 Cent announced that he'll make $15 MILLION playing 6 shows at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas starting December 27th.

-In related news… Singer William Hung was spotted in Vegas putting 50 Cents into a Slot Machine at the Casino at Planet Hollywood. (With Christmas just months away… Don’t forget his album, “Hung for the Holidays” available on Amazon.com.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

It’s National Dictionary Day! So crack open your copy of Websters and read for a Spell!

*****

Kamala Harris will sit down for her first ever interview with Fox News tonight. It will be hosted by Bret Baier, pre-recorded this afternoon - but will be aired in its entirety with no edits and no commercials. All eyes are on the sit-down since CBS and ABC have been accused of deceptively editing their interviews with Harris to make her appear more favorable. But Baier is no Trump fan either, so…

- You’ve heard of a Fox in the Hen House… What will happen with the Hen in the Fox House?? Stay tuned…

*****

Nancy Pelosi says she still hasn’t spoken to Joe Biden since she and other top Democrats forced him to drop out of the 2024 race for President back in July.

-If I were Nancy, I’d have my fingers crossed that Joe didn’t pick my name in this years Democrat Secret Santa Gift Swap.

*****

A new cake shop at Disney World is taking heat for its crazy high prices. The menu posted outside the bakery shows a SINGLE SLICE OF CAKE priced at $22.

-Well that’s just Goofy.

*****

A new study reveals that quitting smoking at any age can significantly extend your life expectancy.

-Unless of course, you’re about to be executed by a firing squad and they offer you a last cigarette. If you say, “No thanks. I’ve decided to quit”, I don’t think it’s going to extend your life.

*****

Officers were dispatched to an Ohio neighborhood over reports of a a "runaway pumpkin." Officers arrived and video shows a large inflatable pumpkin blowing across the road nearly knocking two officers down. Luckily, backup officers arrived and the pumpkin was returned to its relieved owner.

-If you think the owner was relieved… You should have seen the look on the pumpkin’s face.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Another October Surprise… Kamala Harris is being accused of Plagiarism in her 2009 book “Smart on Crime”. An Austrian Professor found 27 instances of plagiarism in the book - which have been corroborated by journalists and the NY Post - including passages taken directly from - get this - Wikipedia. No word yet from the Harris Campaign…

Not even a copied and pasted one.

*****

Firefighters and police in New Hampshire were called out to the home of a resident who found a Moose trapped in their swimming pool.

- The Moose, identified as a Mr. Bullwinkle J. Moose, Said “Thanks. But I wasn’t trapped… I was Sunbathing. Hey Rocky… Watch as I pull a Rabbit out of my Hat!”

*****

On Friday, a woman from China pleaded guilty to attempting to smuggle 29 Eastern Box Turtles, a protected species, across a Vermont lake into Canada in an inflatable Kayak. The woman was arrested and now faces 10 years in Prison.

- If she had smuggled them into America, she would have gotten a Medal and the illegal Turtles all would have gotten a free phone, a prepaid debit card and Free lodging in a Five Star Hotel !!!

*****

CNN’s Anderson Cooper was filmed getting smacked with debris while covering Hurricane Milton in Bradenton, Florida.

Which is a change… Usually he’s filmed getting smashed on Vodka while covering New Year’s Eve in Times Square, New York.

*****

Lottery Officials announced that beginning in April, Mega Millions tickets will more than double in cost… going from $2 to $5 per ticket.

- Which can only mean one thing! Now you can blow through your life savings… TWICE AS FAST!!!

*****

An Indian man set a new Guiness World Record for the World Smallest Fully-Functioning Washing Machine. Serbin Saji designed the machine - which weighs less than an ounce and measures just 1.28” x 1.32” by1.52 inches. But it’s not a toy… the tiny washer runs a full cycle — wash, rinse & spin.

-Next, he’s going to make a tiny little dryer, so every time you do laundry, you can loose one-of-each-pair-of your-tiny-little-socks.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Huge blow for the Lions… Looks like Aidan Hutchinson is out for the season after a horrible injury during yesterday’s game against the Cowboy’s left him with a broken tibia. Hutchinson underwent immediate surgery at a local hospital in Dallas. A replay of the play showed that the area near his ankle was the point of impact with his teammate’s leg and it appeared that Hutchinson almost immediately said “I broke it” as he was down on the ground in pain. Best wishes for a successful recovery!

On a bright note…

Congrats to the Lions who obliterated the Cowboys in Dallas yesterday 47-9… marking one of the top five worst losses suffered by the Cowboys in team history and the worst defeat by the Cowboys at home this Century. To add insult to injury for Dallas… it was Cowboy’s team owner Jerry Jones 82nd Birthday.

How well did the Lions play? Tom Brady said, “That’s a team I’d love to play for”.

*****

Happy Columbus Day! Or as it’s known by some - including Kamala Harris - “Indigenous People’s Day”.

In a speech this morning Kamala said "Since 1934, every October the United States has recognized the voyage of the European explorers who first landed on the shores of the Americas. Those explorers ushered in a wave of devastation for tribal nations – perpetrating violence, stealing land, and spreading disease.”

-Can’t you just feel the JOY??

*****

Country singer Brantley Gilbert in the middle of his concert when his manager rushed on stage to say that Brantley’s very pregnant wife had gone into labor in the tour bus. Brantley explained the situation to the crowd, ran and helped deliver the own baby, then went back on stage and finished the show!

- This is such a great story!!!! Fingers crossed the baby’s his! (I’m just kidding… but he is a Country singer… something usually cheats on somebody in those songs, right??)

*****

Boeing sent out a memo to everyone in the Company announcing that it’s laying off 17,000 employees.

NOTE TO BOEING: Don’t fire any of the guys who check to make sure the doors are screwed on tightly when the planes are in the air. Thanks.

*****

A new study finds that the end of the world won’t come from a swarm of deadly asteroid strikes.

-Rats. The way things are going lately, the whole “getting hit by by an Asteroid” was starting to sound like a pretty good option.

*****

New research suggests that pet owners should introduce cats and dogs gradually to prevent fighting.

- They say if you introduce them too quickly, they’ll end up fighting like… like… well I can’t thing of a good analogy right now, but you know what I mean.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

PRAYERS FOR EVERYONE IN FLORIDA… as Monster Hurricane Milton barrels towards Florida. As of this morning, two tornados have already touched down on the East side of the state… no injuries reported. The storm is expected to make landfall sometime after midnight tonight with catastrophic winds, rain & most significantly = a storm surge of up to 15 feet. As of this writing… Sarasota, South of Tampa seems to be in the bullseye.

*****

Passengers on a Qantas flight from Australia to Japan were shocked after an “adult movie” movie was played on every screen due to a technical issue.

- I thought they weren’t allowed to serve nuts on planes anymore because of allergy issues.

- Let’s just say the tray tables weren’t the only things in their full and upright position.

*****

CBS News & their flagship show “60 Minutes” are taking major heat after if was discovered that they heavily edited Kamala Harris’s answers to make her look better. They allegedly even edited in the answer to a DIFFERENT QUESTION in order to make Kamala’s answer look like it made sense as opposed to the long, rambling answer she gave in the actual interview.

-To paraphrase the late Andy Rooney… “Did you ever wonder… what would make the most famous News Network in history completely throw away its reputation?”

NOTE: The Trump campaign is now demanding that @CBSNews release the full unedited interview.

*****

Kamala has been on a Media Blitz this week… appearing on Howard Stern, Late Night with Stephen Colbert and The View. But she shocked everyone - including her own campaign staff yesterday - when Sonny Hostin asked her if there’s anything she would have done differently than Joe Biden over the last 4 years and Kamala answered, “Not a thing that comes to mind”.

- Not at the Border? Or Afghanistan?

*****

California has become the first State in the country to ban certain Red, Blue, Yellow and Green Colored Food Dyes from the meals served in School cafeterias.

- Which blends perfectly with Reading, Writing and Arithmetic… which have also been banned from being taught in California Schools since 2020.

*****

New England Patriots veteran safety Jabrill Peppers was arrested on charges including drug possession and “strangulation”.

- "Soccer players are rarely arrested for Strangulation. I’m no Criminologist… but I’m bettin’ it has something to do with the fact that they're not allowed to use their hands.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Florida is bracing for Hurricane Milton… which is now expected to make landfall early Thursday morning as a Category 4 storm - most likely in the Tampa Bay Area. Mandatory Evacuations have been ordered up and down the West Coast of Florida - with a massive storm surge anticipated. FL Gov. Ron DeSantis has mobilized all State resources ahead of the storm & President Biden - who cancelled a planned trip overseas - says FEMA will have $$ to assist, despite Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas saying FEMA is out of Money. Stay tuned... 🙏🙏🙏

*****

Amazon Prime Day 2024 starts today and runs through Wednesday at midnight!

That's right... It's your chance to SAVE BIG on stuff you absolutely DO NOT NEED!!!!

Don't miss it!!!

*****

Speaking of shopping...

Costco’s website shows that 1-ounce gold bars were available for purchase for $2,689.99 before taxes, but are now sold out.

But on a bright note… I did the math and if you’re looking to invest in Hot Dogs, that $2600 will get you One- Thousand Seven-Hundred and Ninety-three of those Giant All Beef Hot Dogs at the Costco Food Court!

*****

According to a new poll, Memphis, Tennessee now ranks as the “Most Unsafe City in America”.

So next time you go “Walking in Memphis” you might want to take some pepper spray and a pair of brass knuckles.

*****

A new study suggests that blood pressure readings may not be accurate unless a person’s arm is positioned correctly.

- For example… if you take your blood pressure while your forearm is extended up and your middle finger is pointing straight up in the air… chances are your BP reading will be "Extremely High”.

*****

A man running for Congress in Virginia is in trouble for allegedly "borrowing" a friend’s family for a campaign video. He’s not married… so he decided to use his friends wife and kids in his campaign materials to come off more "family friendly".

- Why didn't Joe Biden think of this? He could have just said Hunter wasn't really his!

*****

A 7-year-old Chinese boy who had been complaining about a mysterious bad smell for two years had a metal screw stuck in his left nostril.

- Well that blows.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

NEVER FORGET - 10/7/2023

One year ago today… Hamas terrorists invaded Israel resulting in the mass murder of nearly 1200 people - including over 30 Americans. More than 250 people were also kidnapped that day. 101 hostages remain in captivity as of this writing. The events of that day led to the current War in the Middle East.

*****

As North Carolina and other states reel from the unprecedented devastation of Hurricane Helene… another monster storm - Hurricane Milton - is barreling toward the Gulf Coast of Florida. Now another Category 4 Storm… Milton… is expected to make landfall Wednesday night into Thursday morning. Evacuation warnings are in effect up and down the West Coast of the state with heavy rain, wind and a 8-10 foot storm surge expected. Stay tuned…

*****

According to a new study, 60% of the average American's diet comes from ultra-processed foods like chips, soda and ice cream.

- The other 40% eat “Soda & Ice Cream Flavored Chips”. Yum.

*****

A Florida woman broke off her engagement with groom-to-be - to marry her maid of honor.

- Is this an actual news story or the plot of an upcoming movie on the Lifetime Channel?

*****

Over the weekend, Vanderbilt fans celebrated their victory over Alabama by ripping out the goalpost and dumping it in the Cumberland River.

I miss the old fashioned days when kids would just set the couches on fire at Cedar Village up at MSU.

*****

In Brooklyn, New York, police found a gang of squatters who had taken over an abandoned $4 MILLION House.

- Well they didn’t expect one squatter to keep up a $4MILLION home all by themselves did they?

*****

Amazon’s Streaming TV service has scrapped plans for a re-do of the “Who's the Boss?”.

Instead… they’re going to aim a camera at the White House and let everyone guess!

*****

Dolly Parton donated $1 MILLION for Hurricane Relief.

-She says if necessary, she’s also willing to step in and offer her chest up as a flotation device.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

The UN is holding an emergency meeting this morning after Iran's unprecedented attack against Israel yesterday... Israel vowed Iran "will pay" for firing a record 180 Missiles - the largest single attack since World War II according to military experts - and says retaliation will come “swiftly”. Stay tuned...

*****

So... Did you watch it? Last night's Vice Presidential Debate between Tim Walz and J.D. Vance? What did you think? I thought Walz did better than expected. Vance was cool and seemed very confident. Walz got better as time went on - with help from the moderators who were - once again - firmly on team Harris. Thoughts??

*****

Meanwhile... Shocking allegations out of London's Daily Mail this morning... Vice President Kamala Harris's husband, First Gentlemen Doug Emhoff allegedly assaulted an ex-girlfriend in May of 2012. According to three witnesses, Emhoff allegedly slapped the woman in the face "so hard it spun her around" when he became angry that she was flirting with another man while they waiting in a Valet Line at a Film Festival Event in Cannes, France.

No comment yet from the Harris campaign…

*****

The White House celebrated former President Jimmy Carter’s milestone centennial birthday yesterday by placing a giant “100” sign on the WH North Lawn.

- But there was a tense moment when Joe Biden walked across the lawn saw the sign and started yelling... 100? I'm 100?? Boy… that was a longer nap than a I thought.

*****

An 81-year-old model fell short in her bid to become the oldest Miss Universe contestant after competing in the South Korean pageant against much younger rivals. Choi Soon-hwa lost to a 22 year old... but did walk away with the "Best Dresser" Award.

- You know what they say... Always the Grandmother of the Bridesmaid. Never the Grandmother of the Bride!

*****

An unidentified buyer at a Charity Auction in Texas paid $4000 for a guitar once played by Taylor Swift... then promptly smashed the guitar to bits. Why you ask? He said he was, “Trying to be funny”.

- Pretty expensive joke. $4000.

*****

66-year-old Madonna posted photos with her new 28-year-old boyfriend, Jamaican soccer player Akeem Morris.

- Madonna says their relationship works great because A) Akeem’s young. and B) Unlike the Soccer rules, Madonna lets him use his hands during their games.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Happy 100th Birthday to Jimmy Carter!

*****

Vice Presidential Candidates Tim Walz and J.D. Vance will face off in the first and only scheduled VP Debate tonight… The event - hosted by CBS starts at 9pm and runs for 90 minutes.

- Pundits expect the situation in Springfield, Ohio to come up a lot which could make this the first CAT FIGHT in history between Two Guys.

*****

At midnight last night… 45,000 Dockworkers went on strike for the first time since 1977… shutting down ports all along the East and Gulf Coasts. Experts say the strike could cost the US economy BILLIONS per day and make it hard to get everything from Cars to Fruit to Furniture.

-Well this year just keeps getting better doesn’t it?

*****

The Governor of California, Gavin Newsom has made it illegal to serve Froot Loops in school cafeterias.

-So let me get this straight: They’ve got a Fruit Loop sitting in the Governor’s Mansion… but you’re not allowed to serve them in the Cafeteria?

*****

A new survey finds that a good portion of people spend their Sundays terrified of the week ahead… with the average American admitting they experience the “Sunday Scaries” 36 times a year.

- When did we become such a nations of wimps? I only get scared on Sundays maybe 20-25 times a year - TOPS!

*****

A confused sea lion wandered up onto a California highway and ended up getting a police escort to a rehabilitation facility.

- Where - amazingly - he ran into Charlie Sheen, fell in love and the two moved into a fabulous $20 MILLION Malibu Condo together!

*****

RIP… Pete Rose, who won two World Series titles with his hometown Cincinnati Reds and broke the all-time hits record died Monday. He was 83. Known as Charlie Hustle for his aggressive and showy style — Rose’s reputation took a huge hit when he was caught betting on baseball - including his own team. Because of that… he was never allowed into the Baseball Hall of Fame - despite a record that more than earned him a place there. 4,256 hits in all. Amazing.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Thoughts and Prayers to everyone affected by the devastation of Hurricane Helene. As of this writing… the death toll has risen to 107 in the affected states with hundreds still missing or unaccounted for. Whole towns in Florida through Georgia, the Carolinas even Kentucky and Tennessee have been wiped off the map - and washed out roads and bridges are making it nearly impossible for rescuers and emergency crews to get through. Cell service is almost non existent and if not for Elon Musk’s “Starlink” - there would be virtually no communication. Victims need food, water and medication. I encourage you to reach out to a Charity you trust and give what you can! 🙏🇺🇸

*****

A new study found that drinking water DOESN’T Help when it comes to getting over a Hangover.

So I guess you’re supposed to stick with the old “Hair of the Dog that Bit Ya”. Or as they call it in Springfield, Ohio, “The Hair of the Cat You Ate”. (Just kidding!)

*****

Pamela Anderson debuted a hot pink hairstyle over the weekend.

- But nobody noticed until she yelled… “Looked up! Look up!” 😂

*****

An India-based hotel operator is set to purchase Motel 6 - America's most popular motel chain in a $525 MILLION all-cash deal.

- So America’s Motel 6 is gonna be based in INDIA?? Holy Cow!

*****

The Tigers lost 9-5 to the White Sox last night… but because they won the day before - they’re in the Play-offs! Their first game will be against the Houston Astros - Tomorrow at 2:30pm! Go Tigs!

*****

RIP… Kris Kristofferson, the Grammy-winning singer-songwriter known for his leading role in 1976’s “A Star Is Born,” died Saturday at his home in Maui. He was 88.

RIP… Basketball Hall of Famer and eight-time NBA All-Star Dikembe Mutombo has died at the age of 58 following a battle with brain cancer.

RIP… John Asthon, best known for his role as Detective Sergeant John Taggart in the"Beverly Hills Cop" films, has died. He was 76.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

BREAKING…. NYC Mayor Eric Adams has been indicted on Bribery, Fraud and Campaign Finance Charges involving Foreign Influence (from Turkey) … His home was raided and his cell phone has been seized. Adams - who is a Democrat - says he is being targeted by the Biden DOJ because he spoke out against the flood of migrants in the city … Details as they become available…

*****

Not much to laugh about in the “Diddy” case… but there is this: When asked why the investigators found 1000 bottles of Baby Oil near one the the “Sex Rooms” in his Los Angeles mansion, his attorney said, “Well there’s a Costco down the street from Diddy’s house… You know American’s like to buy in bulk”.

- That’s true. I bought a couple cases of Paper Towels, a Dozen Salmon Burgers and a two-pack of Rolaid’s and I was like… let’s party!

*****

A new report confirms that Freddie Prinze Jr. will return to the horror world of “I Know What You Did Last Summer” in the upcoming follow up film.

But at this point… everybody is just waiting around for the previews to find out what “Diddy Did Last Summer and Exactly WHO HE DID IT WITH”.

*****

A new study finds that nearly 1 in 3 Americans may have an undiagnosed iron deficiency. This problem can lead to fatigue, brain fog, difficulty concentrating and memory issues.

- Not only that… but it can lead to memory issues, too!

*****

Crazy video captured Eight bulls escaping from a rodeo event at a Massachusetts Mall Sunday afternoon … People ran for their lives as the bulls crashed through a chainlink fence, thru the parking lot and onto a main road. As of this writing… one of the bulls remains on the loose.

No word on where the Bulls and their Bull**** were headed… but I’m betting it was somewhere in the vicinity of Washington, D.C.

*****

The Post Office wants stamp prices to rise five times between now and 2027… but won’t say how high prices will eventually go. The price of a first class stamp currently stands at 73 cents… Believe it or not. It was just .10 cents in 1972 and .34 cents in 2002.

- Well you know what they say about Stamp Prices… If you can’t beat em… lick em.

*****

A recent survey claims that the age at which life, money, and the future start to feel “real” for most Americans isn’t until age 27.

- And the age you decided you liked it better when it wasn’t “real” and you want to go back to being a kid again? 27 and 1/2.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

This morning, the Senate released it’s scathing report on the Assassination Attempts on Donald Trump and the failures of the Secret Service to protect him… “A Perfect Storm of Stunning Failure”/Yesterday, Trump’s would be Golf-course assassin, Ryan Wesley Routh was charged with his attempted assassination/The former President has been briefed by the National Intelligence Agency about at least 5 ONGOING threats to his life from Iran.

- We are living in very dangerous and frightening times.

*****

Kamala Harris is set to sit down with MSNBC host Stephanie Ruhle tonight, for her first solo interview with a major news network since becoming the Democrat nominee. But critics note the sit-down will be taped, edited and that Ruhle is a big fan of the Harris Campaign.

-I don’t want to spoil anything… but I have heard rumors that, “Kamala is from a middle class family and grew up in a neighborhood where people really care about their lawns”.

*****

Disgraced former Trump attorney Michael Cohen - who testified against him and for Stormy Daniels in Trump’s Hush Money trial - says he’ll have no choice but to “Change his name and flee the country” if Donald Trump is elected.

- I think “Stormy Cohen” has a nice ring to it. What do ya think? 😂

*****

A looming strike by 45,000 dock workers could mean some popular fruits will be harder to find on grocery store shelves this fall.

- I don’t know about you guys, but as long as things are good at the Dark Chocolate Raisinette Factory… I’m good. 😎

Wait a sec… Are the dock workers the same guys who actually pick the Caramel Apples off the trees and put them in the shipping boxes or are those two separate groups of people? Either way… Hats off!!!

*****

California is the latest and largest state to require its Schools to restrict or ban cellphone use in the classroom.

Teachers say it’s had no impact so far… but that’s probably since most of the kids had their phones stolen on their way to school.

*****

According to a new survey, the most popular adult Halloween costume this year is a Witch.

- The hard part is deciding whether to go as “Young Nancy Pelosi” or “Old Nancy Pelosi”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

This just in… NFL Hall of Famer Brett Favre says he was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease at the age of 54. The Packers legend made the announcement while speaking at a Congressional hearing on welfare misspending and reform. Stay tuned…

*****

Bruce Springsteen turned 75 yesterday…

At his age, Bruce is doing less “Dancing in the Dark” and more “Getting up in the Middle of the Night Every Half Hour to Go to the Bathroom".

*****

A confused-looking President (?) Biden forgot which world leader he was supposed to introduce at a press conference over the weekend. After an uncomfortable silence he yelled into the microphone, “WHO’S NEXT??” then seemed not to recognize the Prime Minister of India.

- ”Sharp as a tack”. Enough said.

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Jennifer Lopez's beauty brand, JLo Beauty, made a small blunder by posting a pic of Jen wearing a necklace with the name “BEN” on it. Jen - of course - is in the middle of getting a divorce from her 4th husband “Ben” Affleck.

- At this point, I’m sure JLo’s just happy they didn’t post one of the pics of her wearing a necklace that says “Diddy”. (Yup… JLo and Diddy dated from 1999 to 2001)

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A study published in “Personality and Individual Differences” found that men are more willing to be lured into danger for women with a high-pitched voice.

- Which is why when it comes to Emergencies, Caitlyn Jenner is pretty much on her own.

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A recent survey has revealed Miami, Florida, to be the “rudest” city in the U.S. based on responses from participants in 46 of America’s largest cities.

- Well, duh. Half of New York City has moved to Miami in the last four years.

Philadelphia was named the second rudest city in the Country.

So much for that whole “City of Brotherly Love” thing…

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

This just in… The Biden/Harris DOJ released the first page of a letter written by would-be Trump assassin Ryan Wesley Routh in which he admitted that he failed in trying to take the life of the former president. Routh also offered $150,000 for anyone who could “Finish the job”

Question: Why would the DOJ release this letter to the public? Did they think it was just cheaper than taking out a Want Ad???

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Routh - a virulent Anti-Trumper had apparently written the letter several months in advance and left it with a friend with instructions to open in the event “that something happened to him”. Investigators said he had Googled routes to Mexico - so apparently had planned to make it out alive.

- Well look at that! He had something in common with Trump after all!

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A Scandanavian Airlines flight from Norway to Spain had to make an emergency landing after a live mouse scampered out of a woman’s pre-packaged in-flight meal.

-On a bright note… They didn’t charge her extra for having an Emotional Support Animal.

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Kamala Harris raised eyebrows during her sit down with Oprah Thursday night when she said that if anybody broke in to her house, they’d get shot.

- Although the way she said it… I wasn’t sure if maybe she was saying she’d invite the burglar in to DO shots?? I’ll have to watch it again. (Btw… the special was streamed from Detroit)

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Amazon shocked employees by telling them they’ll be expected to report to the office five days a week starting in January.

- Nobody’s more ticked off that some woman named “Alexa” who says she’s gotten really used to “Phoning it in”.

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Tupperware, known the world over for its plastic food storage containers, has filed for bankruptcy after years of falling popularity and financial troubles.

- But you know what they say… It ain’t over til the fat lady burps the final bowl.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Kamala Harris will be in Michigan tonight for a two-hour live stream campaign event with none other than Oprah Winfrey.

- Kamala says she really hopes, “Oprah uses her voice to help support my campaign”. TRANSLATION: “I’m hoping she gives everybody a FREE CAR in exchange for their vote.”

*****

A zoo in China was forced to admit that the rare breed of Pandas they had on display at their Zoo - “Panda Dogs” were actually just two Chow-Chow dogs painted black and white - after one of the fake “Bears” started panting and barking as visitors looked on.

- Wow. Usually if you want to see a “Cheap knock off from China” you have to go shopping at your nearby Dollar Store.

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This just in… Cedar Point is getting a NEW ROLLER COASTER IN 2025! Siren’s Curse, is set to open next year and is billed as North America’s “tallest, longest and fastest tilt ride”. The park is remaining tight lipped… but we do know this: Height: 160 feet. Speed: 58 mph. Duration: two minutes.

- Chances of me throwing out my back: 99%

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REO Speedwagon announced that - due to an ongoing dispute between band members - they will permanently retire from Touring in January of 2025.

- REO tried to handle their irreconcilable differences… but bottom line? “They Can’t Fight That Feeling Anymore”. (Loved that song… REO is one of the few “Rock Bands” whose music I actually enjoyed!)

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Hunters removed nearly 200 invasive Burmese pythons from the Florida Everglades during 2024’s “Florida Python Challenge” this summer.

Now that’s what I call “Draining the Swamp”.

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According to a new survey, 1 in 5 people say drinking a fresh cup of coffee is better than making love - while the other 4 say sex is better.

So apparently “Folgers in your Cup” ISN’T actually “The BEST part of waking up”.

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According to Legal experts, more and more people are leaving a big chunk of their estate to their PETS in their Will…. in addition to - or instead of - leaving it to the their children.

- Did you hear that daughters? Oh who am I kidding? Sometimes I get the feeling they don’t read this blog! 😂

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Diddy or Didn’t He?

Sean “Diddy” Combs spent the night in a NYC jail after a judge denied bail following his arrest on racketeering and sex trafficking charges. Combs is accused of holding bizarre hotel “Freak Offs” that included physical and sexual abuse. So called “Insiders” say Diddy is just the tip of the iceberg and that this story may involve a lot of other “well known” names. If convicted on the current charges, Diddy could face a minimum of 15 years and a maximum of life in prison.

Stay tuned…

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Lauren Sánchez spoke to “Extra” about her upcoming wedding to Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos, saying she is “most excited to marry the man of my dreams.”

- Gee… I wonder if it’s his bald head or his $204 BILLION Net Worth that makes up the “Dream” part?

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A day after a failed assassination attempt on Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton said Monday that the former president posed a "danger to our country and the world."

- Good to see Hillary’s “toning down the rhetoric”.

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Elon Musk is predicting that we’ll have crewed SpaceX flights to Mars by the year 2028.

- I don’t even care what the weather’s like on Mars… as long as they're not having a Presidential Election there, I’m going!

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According to a new study of 350.000 Chinese adults, drinking 3 Cups of Coffee a day - could lower your risk of heart disease, diabetes and stroke. But researchers warn that having a 4th cup could actually INCREASE your risk of heart problems.

-Not only that… but if you have that 4th cup… you’ll be up all night WORRYING about your heart.

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A Vero Beach, Florida man was arrested after he broke into a home, took off all his clothes, and cooked a pot of spaghetti.

- Cops said everything was going fine until he started serving up his “World Famous Meatballs”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Well here we are again. Unbelievable. Yesterday there was a second Assassination Attempt on the life of former President Donald Trump… 58 year old Ryan Wesley Routh (a pro-Ukraine activist) managed to shove an AK-47 through the fence of Trump’s golf course in West Palm Beach, Florida which was spotted by a Secret Service Agent. Luckily no one was hurt. Routh makes his first court appearance today…

This is the SECOND attempt on Trump’s life in two months… and now there are EVEN MORE questions about the levels of Security given to the former President…

ONE BIG QUESTION: Trump’s golf game WAS NOT on any public schedule. How did the would-be-assassin know he would be playing golf that day, at that time on that course??

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A new ABC poll shows that voters aren’t any more likely to back Kamala Harris - even if they think she won last week’s debate.

- But it turns out viewers are a lot more likely to think that ABC WANTED Kamala Harris to WIN last week’s ABC debate.

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Prince Harry turned the Big 4-0 yesterday… and said the “Best gifts” he’s ever gotten are his two kids, 5 year old Archie and Lilibet who is 3.

Translation: Meghan wrecked his 40th Birthday baking a Vegan Cake and buying him a Solar Powered Polo Pony.

FYI… If you are a Meghan fan, you can catch her on the TV show “Suits” on Netflix. She plays a legal assistant and I gotta say… she’s really good!

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Despite ongoing tensions in the family, King Charles and Prince William posted a pic of Prince Harry on his birthday - but were quickly criticized for “cropping Meghans head” out of the pic. The Palace has denied the accusation.

I believe the palace on this one… but what is it with them and women’s heads? You know… the whole “Anne Boleyn” thing??

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Ryan Seacrest officially took over hosting duties of “Wheel of Fortune” last Monday night, acknowledged that he has 'very big shoes to fill' - but he failed to mention the show’s longtime host Pat Sajak by name. Fans on Social Media were not happy.

- In fact you might say they were "M _ d As He_ _”.

(Btw… Jay Leno failed to mention Johnny Carson’s name on his first night taking over the Tonight show, too. I know this because was in the audience for Leno’s first show!)

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And one more thing… (As Colombo used to say!)…

It’s National Wrinkled Raincoat Day!

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RIP… Tito Jackson, the brother of Michael Jackson and a founding member of the Jackson 5, has died. He was 70.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick