Taylor Swift and KC Chief player Travis Kelce were spotted getting handsy for the second night in a row while out on a romantic dinner date. The pair were all smiles as they left a swanky NYC restaurant hand-in-hand before ducking into an SUV waiting outside.

- These two are so in love… this is gonna be Taylor’s best Break Up Album EVER!!!

*****

On Monday, Judge Tanya Chutkan issued a gag order on former President Trump, limiting what he can say about his alleged attempt to challenge the results of the 2020 election. Trump immediately tweeted that he'll appeal the ruling calling the whole thing a "Witch Hunt".

- Speaking of Witches... Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg have selected their Halloween costumes and it’s going to be SCARY!!!! They’re going as each other!!!

*****

Scientists at the University of Michigan say new research shows that Ultra Processed Foods or “UPF’s” - like chips, hot dogs, pop and sugary cereal are just as addictive as nicotine, cocaine and heroin. They say 14% of people are actually “Junk Food Addicts”.

- I’m not saying I have a problem… but I did break out in a cold sweat the other day when I ran out of “Yasso” Frozen Chocolate Covered Vanilla Yogurt Bars. Boy are they good! (and available at Kroger!)

- … And in the spirit of full disclosure… I’m also a certified Raisinette-aholic, too! (What am I a Raisinette Influencer all of a sudden?? To be honest… I don’t even know what an “Influencer” is!)

*****

The CEO of Levi's has come up with a new way to fight Climate Change: Wear your pants in the shower! Charles "Chip" Bergh says wearing your jeans while you shower and washing them like you would your legs helps eliminate the "toxic microfibers from denim that build up in washing machines and eventually make their way to aquatic ecosystems".

- Call me crazy… but doesn’t the water from the shower end up in the SAME PLACE as the water from the WASHING MACHINE??

*****

Oprah Winfrey is throwing cold water on Mitt Romney's claim that she asked him to join her in a run for the Presidency in 2020. She says she encouraged MITT to run... but never planned to run herself.

- But how fun would it have been to have Oprah as President?? We all would have gotten a NEW CAR!!!!

*****

An Italian motorcyclist was recently left in excruciating pain after a motorcycle crash dislodged his testicle and sent it up into his body.

- Ironically, Police blamed the crash on a "loose ball bearing".

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

As of this morning… no additional big news out of the Israeli/Hamas War.

RIP… Suzanne Summers… the bubbly actress best known for her role as “Chrissy” on “Three’s Company” and for the “The Thigh Master” commercials. She lost 23 years long battle with Breast cancer on Sunday, just one day before her 77th birthday.

RIP… Piper Laurie… the actress best known movies, “The Hustler” and “Carrie” died Saturday at the age of 91. No cause of death was given.

*****

And now for some Good News…

The Detroit Lions are tied for the BEST RECORD in the NFL after Sunday’s 20-6 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Lions are now 5-1 for the first time since 2011… with a four game winning streak. That puts Detroit at the top of the heap with the 2023 Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs, the Miami Dolphins, the San Francisco 49ers and the Philadelphia Eagles. The 49ers and Eagles were undefeated going into yesterday’s games… but both ended up losing. So now all five teams are tied at 5 -1.

Could the Lions end up going to the Super Bowl???? Maybe!!!!!! Should we savor this moment of being tied for 1st place???? Definitely!!!!!

*****

A North Carolina angler set a new Saltwater Fishing World Record when he brought in a 3 pound “Puddingwife” earlier this month. For those of you who don’t know what a “Puddingwife” is… I looked it up. It’s a brightly colored reef fish that’s edible -but most people consider it a “trash fish” due it’s “blue flesh and excessive mucus”.

- Sounds yummy! And with the right Tartar Sauce… you don’t even notice the Mucus!

*****

According to a national survey, the average American chows down on enough pizza each year to stuff a full-sized suitcase.

- I did my part yesterday… I had two pieces of pizza for dinner and a side of pasta with Marinara.

*****

Last week a Canadian man ate 50 of the world's hottest chili peppers - The Carolina Reaper - in a record-breaking 6 minutes and 49.2 seconds -- and then went on to eat 85 more.

- This is either really dumb… or the fastest Colonoscopy Prep I’ve ever heard of.

*****

Scientists at the University of Michigan say new research shows that Ultra Processed Foods or “UPF’s” - like chips, hot dogs, pop and sugary cereal are just as addictive as nicotine, cocaine and heroin. They say 14% of people are actually “Junk Food Addicts”.

- I’m not saying I have a problem… but I did break out in a cold sweat the other day when I ran out of “Yazzo” Frozen Chocolate Yogurt Bars. Boy are they good! (and available at Kroger!)

- … Not to mention… I’m also a certified Raisinette-aholic, too!

*****

Have a good day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Some bright news on a gloomy Thursday…

27 members of Oak Pointe Church in Novi… who had been on a trip to visit the Holy Sites of Israel when Hamas launched their deadly terrorist attacks on Saturday, have made it home safely!

Pastor Jon Morales, his wife Anna and a group of 25 others were traveling through the desert when they got word of the attacks. They made their way to a shelter in Jerusalem, where they stayed in hiding until arrangements could be made for their safe passage out of the country.

Eventually they were taken by bus to Amman, Jordan - where the group was split in two - with half flying to Dubai, and half to Qutar. From there… they were flown to Chicago where the groups were reunited before flying to Detroit where they landed safely last night!

*****

The Latest…

• Gaza in a complete blackout.

• Isreal & US confirm photos of atrocities against children

• New numbers from the White House: Hamas has killed at least 27 Americans.

• 14 Americans are unaccounted for/missing in Israel.

• Starting tomorrow, US Gov. will offer Charter flights out of Israel to places around Europe for U.S. citizens and their families. Also looking at ways out by land and sea.

• White House says they don’t know anything about the condition or location of hostages - nor does there appear to be a plan to go get them or to deploy US troops to the area.

As for the $6 BILLION that the US handed back to Iran last month as part of a Prisoner Swap that is being held in a bank in Qatar, there have been calls to RE-FREEZE those funds so they can’t be accessed by Iran (who backs/trains/finances Hamas). But the White House says that’s not happening. They say the money “will only be used for humanitarian aid - food, medicine, etc… for the Iranian people”.

Here’s the problem with that argument. Knowing they have an extra $6 BILLION in the bank … means Iran can spend their cash on Terror.

And so it goes…

See you back here Monday when hopefully we’ll be back to our usual topics!

-Dick & Jackie

Day 5…

As we continue to watch the horrific images coming out of Israel as they prepare for a full scale invasion of Gaza, US Officials have confirmed that 22 Americans have lost their lives and 17 are unaccounted for - and presumed taken hostage - during Hamas’s terrorist attacks.

US hostage negociators are reportedly in Israel to help get our people back… and Navy Seal Team 6 is said to be standing by to aid in any possible rescue/evacuation operations of American and Israeli hostages. The power and water has been cut in Gaza, rockets are flying in both directions, and - it was just announced that 9 UN staff members have been killed in a missile attack.

Amidst all this…. Questions still remain how the Terrorists were able to just walk (and parachute!) into one of the most secure nations on earth and unleash such barbarism??

It makes you wonder, If they could do it there… ??

Before the horrific attacks on Israel… one of the biggest issues here - that was really starting to get some attention - was the out of control situation at the US Southern Border. Day after day we saw pictures and videos of trucks and trains and lines and lines of people flooding into this Country.

I am 100% for legal immigration. LEGAL immigration. Our nation has a long and storied history of proud people coming here from around the world - seeking a better life. For example, my Dad came over from Europe on the HMS Carpathia when he was just 8 months old. That’s the same ship that went on to pick up the survivors of the Titanic. And of course everyone who came in had to register at Ellis Island in NY.

But that’s not the case with everyone who comes here anymore. I’m afraid what we are experiencing now is different. Hundreds of thousands of migrants from - according the to data I’ve seen - 183 different countries - flooding across our border with absolutely no vetting. No background checks. No anything.

And the numbers are staggering. The Homeland Security Department reported that just last month, Border Patrol Agents apprehended more than 210,000 migrants who crossed the souther border ILLEGALLY - that is, they “sneaked in” between official ports of entry. And, by the Homeland’s own admission, even if they are apprehended, most are given a court date years in the future and released into the US.

How about this: 151 people on the Terrorist Watch List have been arrested trying to cross our Southern Border so far this year … compared to just 15 in 2021.

Makes you wonder how many got in that they DIDN’T catch.

I guess my point is this:

We closed the border for Covid. For 19 Months. “To Save Lives”.

I think the least we can do now - and should have done already - is “Err on the side of caution”.

See you back here Thursday

-Dick

Citing an “Acute and immediate need”… the Biden Administration will waive 26 Federal laws to allow several miles of Border Wall to be built in South Texas. You might remember, President Biden called Trump’s wall “Racist” and vowed that “Not one foot of wall would be built” during a Biden Presidency.

- Well to quote one of Joe’s favorite expressions, Who’s the “lying’ dog face pony soldier” now??

*****

THIS JUST IN… Joe and Jill Biden's two-year-old German Shepherd, Commander, HAS BEEN REMOVED from the White House - after biting a 12th White House Staff Member this week.

- The reason they didn’t get rid of Commander when Hunter was living at the White House was that Hunter was always Hung Over and needed easy access to the “Hair of the Dog that Bit Him”.

*****

According to a WH spokesperson, Commander is not presently on the White House campus while “Next steps are evaluated”.

- “Next Steps”?? If I was Commander… I wouldn’t be accepting any invitations to go Paddleboarding at the Obamas place in Martha’s Vineyard anytime soon.

*****

According to a new survey, members of Gen Z (11 to 26 year olds) have a bad reputation for having poor communication skills at work.

- It’s true. I stopped at a lemonade stand over the summer… and instead of thanking me for the dollar I paid, the two little kids handed me an iPAD asking if I’d like to tip 15%, 20% or a “Custom Amount”.

*****

U.S. Congressman Henry Cuellar of Texas was Carjacked at gunpoint outside his Washington, D.C. apartment the other night by three armed gunmen.

- Cuellar said it was terrifying… but he finally understood what the American people feel like ever since the government started trying to take away their Gas Powered Cars.

*****

Thought looting was just a problem on land? Think again! Residents living on houseboats and yachts in the San Francisco Bay say they have to resort to physically fighting off seafaring bandits who are sneaking up on rowboats and ransackinging their ships.

- Wasn’t it Otis Reading who sang, “Sittin’ on the Dock of the bay… Watching the Pirates-with-my-big-screen-TV-float-away…” ??? Or something like that.

*****

Scientists report that remote workers can have a 54% lower Carbon Footprint than on-site employees.

- Am I the only one who doesn’t really understand this whole “Carbon Footrprint” thing? I’m still more worried about the effects of guys who wear black socks with shorts and sandals.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

It’s October 4th - and that can only mean one thing! It’s Actor Broderick Crawford Day! As a kid I loved watching his show, “Highway Patrol”… and how he’d sign off his Police radio transmissions with a brusque “10-4”! Thanks to all of you who called me over thru the years to remind me!!

It’s also the day that FEMA and the FCC will be conducting a Nationwide Test of the Emergency Alert System… This afternoon at approximentally 2:20pm, all TV’s Radios & Cell Phones will display a message that starts with “THIS IS A TEST of the Wireless Emergency Alert System. No Action is Needed”. There will also be the usual “tone” used during a test, so don’t panic. (The way things are going in the World… we’ll have plenty of time for that later!)

Speaking of panic…

Another crazy day in Washington, D.C. as a small group of Republicans backed by all the Democrats in Congress voted to oust Repub Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy. It’s the first time in history a Speaker has been forced from his role.

- Hey… If there looking for a “Speaker” that will do whatever you ask it to do… these day we go with "Alexa”!!

*****

Seriously… It turns out the Speaker doesn’t actually have to be a Member of Congress so people are throwing around all kinds of names as McCarthy’s replacement including… wait for it… DONALD TRUMP.

- Trump is said to be thinking it over while he’s in Court fighting some of the 91 Indictments against him.

*****

The NFL is being accused of relying too much on the Taylor Swift/KC Chief player Travis Kelce romance to boost ratings… with even Him admitting that cutting to shots of Her in the box cheering him on 17 TIMES during the game was “too much”.

- Maybe… but it’s still better than when we were all treated to those shots of Dennis Rodman canoodling Madonna.

*****

Scientists say that small amounts of venom from a Brazilian Wandering Spider could help treat Erectile Dysfunction.

- I don’t care how well it works, something tells me it’s gonna Frighten Miss Muffet Away.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

Former Prez Trump is back in Court in today for day two of his Civil Fraud trial… Yesterday, courtroom staff were seen carrying six big bags of McDonald’s (Trump’s fav) into the courthouse during the lunch break.

- Trump was going to buy Pizza for everyone at the Courthouse… but it turns out Chris Christie had already already snapped up all the pies in NYC for his own pre-lunch snack.

*****

Hunter Biden was in court in Delaware this morning pleading NOT GUILTY to charges that he lied about being addicted to drugs when he bought a gun back in 2018. That comes after a plea deal fell apart this summer on tax and gun charges. If convicted on all charges… Hunter could face a maximum of 25 years in prison and fines up to $750,000.

- And I’d say the chances of Hunter going to the slammer for 25 years are about the same as the chances that Jack Smith drops all 91 counts against Donald Trump, invites him over for Thanksgiving, and buys him a “World’s Greatest President” Mug for Christmas.

*****

From the “I Didn’t See That One Coming Department”…

70 year old Vladimir Putin - who has been in office since 1999 - is set to announce that he WILL SEEK another six year term as President of Russia.

- It’s part of his “Make Communism Great Again” program.

*****

A new report says that more & more “Ant Enthusiasts” in Edmonton, Alberta are keeping the insects as pets.

- It’s not as easy as you think. I had an Ant Farm as a kid. And let me tell you… It was no picnic.

*****

Vanna White is missing from this week’s episodes of “Wheel of Fortune” because she tested positive for Covid.

- But Pat Sajak says Vann’a turned the corner and will be back to turning letters next week.

*****

In case you missed it, the Philadelphia Phillies denied an Emotional Support Alligator from entering their ballpark.

- What a croc.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Congress managed to avoid a Government shutdown over the weekend, but not without a lot of drama… Democrat Rep. Jamaal Bowman was caught on camera pulling a FIRE ALARM right before a major vote. Republicans say he was attempting to obstruct an official proceeding… but Bowman and the Dems say it was “Mistake” and he was just “Trying to open the door”.

- So……. If somebody had just pulled the FIRE ALARM on January 6th everything would have been cool?? Good to know.

*****

Former Prez Trump is in a NYC Courtroom this morning accused of deceiving banks, insurers and others by massively overvaluing his assets. Last week, the Judge overseeing the case, valued Trumps Mar a Lago at just $18 MILLION despite much smaller homes in the same neighborhood ON THE OCEAN selling for $200 MILLION.

- The Judge must be the same guy who appraised my house when I put it on the Market a couple years ago.

*****

Are You Ready Kids???

After a successful online letter-writing campaign, Kraft announced that it’s bringing back its “SpongeBob Squarepants” Mac n Cheese!

- Those of you who follow this blog know I’m a HUGE fan of SpongeBob, Patrick Starfish, Squidward & Gary the Snail. So this is is PERFECT for me!

- The only problem is… when I eat too much Mac ‘n Cheese I end up looking like SpongeBob ROUNDPants.

*****

According to a new survey, only half of hourly employees feel they will be able to retire comfortably… with 33% admitting they’re “Winging it” when it comes to their “Retirement Plan”.

- And of that 33%… 50% are “Winging it” Bone-In, and the other 50% prefer “Boneless Winging It”.

*****

A new study claims that global warming and rising temperatures may increase the prevalence of alcohol and drug use.

- Well, yeah... when AOC keeps telling us were gonna be dead in 8 years can you blame people if they need a drink?

- Even a Bud Light?

*****

A flying car made its debut at the Auto Show here in Detroit last month.

- Of course I debuted the original "Flying Car"... when I used to pass cars in the Tunnel when I was late to start my 6am show at CKLW in Windsor back in the early 80's. (TRUE STORY!!!)

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you badc here Tuesday!

-Dick

Fans of legends like Elvis, Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana are using AI (Artificial Intelligence) programs to “age” photos and see what their favorite deceased celebs would look like today if they hadn’t died in their prime.

- Is it just me or does Diana kind of have a look on her face that says, “Seriously, Harry? Meghan Markle??”

- I’m not buying Elvis with gray hair… I think he would have continued dying it black. Otherwise, his fans would have ended up with… “Suspicious Minds”.

- Wow… Even Marilyn Monroe might have sung, “Botox is a Girl’s Best Friend”.

*****

Most arm chair quarterbacks are saying that the big winner of last night’s GOP debate was the guy who didn’t show up… Donald Trump.

- This reminds me of my buddy in High School, Bob Bemisderfer who won EVERYTHING… whether he showed up or not. (Okay… that’s not really true. But I thought his ex-wife Alice Bemisderfer - who reads and comments on this blog most days at her home in Buffalo - would get a kick out of me saying that. Go Bills!!!)

*****

Chris Christie even called Trump “Donald Duck” for ducking out of the debates - a joke that most agree came off as forced and scripted.

- Look for Trump to come back with something like, “When I WIN… Christie will EAT HIS WORDS!!! Knowing him… With a side of Ranch”.

*****

President Biden’s dog Commander attacked yet another Secret Service agent this week - the eleventh time the First Dog has bitten a member of the White House Staff.

- Wow… Senator Menendez has been indicted… Hunter Biden’s been indicted… and former President Trump’s been indicted. Maybe it’s time to indict the Dog??

*****

Michelle Obama made a cool $741,000 for a ONE HOUR speech about “Diversity and Inclusion” at the “Bits & Pretzels” Festival in Germany on Monday.

- The Obamas say they’ll bank $740,000 of it… and spend the extra Grand on Obamacare.

- Wow. How can Germany afford that?? Even Eva Braun didn’t make that kind of money!

******

The great debate over Dem. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer’s decision to cave to John Fetterman’s desire to wear a hoodie-and-shorts to work has been decided by a unanimous vote in the US Senate… reinstating the Formal Dress Code.

- Good! Now we can get back to the work of figuring out how much more money to send to Ukraine!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Last night’s episode of 60 Minutes on CBS revealed that America has pumped $25 BILLION in non-military aid to Ukraine… including paying the salaries of all 57,000 First Responders in that country.

- Let me get this straight… Stores are closing or locking up all their merchandise because we don’t have enough money to pay for enough Cops in THIS Country… but we’re paying the salaries of ALL THE POLICE in UKRAINE??

- Am I missing something here??

*****

Squad leader AOC was roasted on Social Media after claiming that the reason she owns a Tesla and not a Union-Made Electric Car is because “The vaccines weren’t ready during the Pandemic”.

- This is the same person who told us 4 years ago that because of Global Warming, in 12 years (8 years from now) we’re all gonna be DEAD.

- I’m starting to think AOC is a bit of a “Glass is Half Empty” kind of girl.

*****

IN REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS…

A Canadian Dog has set a new Guinness World Records title by removing 21 socks from the feet of volunteers in one minute.

- In case you’re wondering what kind of Dog we’re talk about… He’ a Socker Spaniel. (Ba da boom)

*****

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his House Speaker have apologized after they led Parliament in a standing ovation over the weekend for a 98 year old supposed “Canadian-Ukranian War Hero” who fought the Russians during World War II… Turns out the man, Yaroslav Hunka, was a member of a NAZI unit during the War that committed documented War Crimes.

- They asked Trudeau how it’s goin’ and he replied, “Not goin’ too good, eh? But thanks for ahskin…”

*****

Democrats are calling a new Washington Post/ABC News Poll that found former President Trump has a 10 POINT LEAD over President Biden an “outlier” and not a true representation of a likely election outcome.

- Settle in folks… We’ve still got 14 MONTHS TO GO!

*****

An investigative report found that not one student at 13 Baltimore High Schools was proficient in Math.

- Not one student out of 13 schools?? That’s almost 90 percent !!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Do you remember? The 21st Night of September? It’s National “Earth, Wind, & Fire Day!” Love that song! It was Jackie’s favorite when she was 15 years old and spent 63 days in Children’s Hospital. I used to play it for her during my show. Jackie still loves that song to this day! And so do I !!!

*****

President Biden looked confused again Wednesday as he walked into a giant flag at the UN — then appeared to anger Brazil’s president by walking off stage without shaking his hand.

- Can you guess the official language of Brazil? (Answer at the end of the blog!)

*****

During her speaking tour of College campuses across the Country Wednesday, VP Kamala Harris said that young people are questioning whether to get married, buy a house or have kids because of... "Climate Anxiety" and the impact it could have on the environment.

- I love that today's people are worried about how having kids is going to impact “The Planet”. Wait til they find out how much having a kid is going to impact their SLEEP!

*****

Elton John has put his 13,500 sq. ft. Atlanta apartment on the market for a cool $5 MILLION.

- Well at that price, “I think it’s gonna be a long, long time ‘til the Rocketman sells his Apartment”.

- Still… it would be pretty cool. I mean think about it… “You can tell EVERYBODY… this is your Condo”.

- Elton says he’s leaving Atlanta because…“Georgia ain’ the kinda place to raise a kid… In fact it’s Hot as hell…”

*****

Hundreds of people who identify as DOGS (??) gathered in Berlin, Germany the other day… Why?? To Run, Jump, and play “Go France”.

-I’m sorry… that’s “Go Fetch”. The “France” part came in later, when the they headed over to Paris and made all of the French Bulldogs “Roll Over”.

*****

Republican Presidential Candidate Will Hurd has presented a detailed plan for regulating Artificial Intelligence.

- Step 1: Fire the cast of "The View".

*****

A new study finds engaging in moderate to vigorous exercise between 7:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. is the optimal time for weight loss.

- Well, since I already missed today’s “Weight Loss Window”… I’m gonna run up to Dairy Queen for a Peanut Buster Parfait and give it another shot tomorrow.

*****

A sports car owner in Colorado somehow managed to escape unscathed after a massive pick-up truck tipped over and landed on the roof of his Corvette.

- On a bright note… He’s now got a convertible.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

ANSWER: It’s Portuguese.

Good news! They found the Jet! Debris from the $80 MILLION State-of-the-Art F-35 Fighter Jet that disappeared Sunday after its pilot ejected during a training mission over North Carolina has been found 80 miles from where it was last seen. EVEN BETTER NEWS… The pilots luggage has been located on Baggage Carousel #3 at O’Hare Airport in Chicago!!

*****

It’s National “Talk Like a Pirate Day”! The day we set aside to say things like… “Shiver me Timbers!”… “Hang the Jib, You Scallywag”… and “Lyin’ Dog Face Pony Soldier”… No Wait… That one’s from “National Talk Like a PRESIDENT Day”.

*****

While slamming the new “Relaxed” Senate Dress Code that Chuck Schumer put in place to accommodate PA Senator John Fetterman’s love of Gym Shorts and Hoodies, 70 year old Maine Senator Susan Collins joked that she plans on wearing a Bikini… “because now she can”.

- I have no problem with her wearing a Bikini… But I DO NOT want to see Chris Christie in a Speedo.

- There are just somethings you just can’t Unsee.

*****

A judge in Australia threw out a lawsuit by a man who was seeking $643 MILLION US in damages for the “breakdown of his marriage” he says was caused when the staff there encourage him to witness his wife having a C-Section. He says seeing her organs caused him to develop a “psychotic illness” that ruined their marriage. The judge disagreed.

- This reminds me of some friends of my daughter JoAnne. They went to the OB-GYN for the new Mom’s 6 week check up after their first baby was born. The doctor did the exam, said everything looked good and “cleared” them to “resume their normal activities” if you will. Well the husband - who had been in the room for the birth - looked panicked and said… “Doc… I need more time!”

*****

A survey of Americans who exercise found that more and more people are turning to Canabis as part of their post-workout “Recovery”.

- People used to down a Gatorade. Now they fire up a joint.

*****

During his interview on NBC's "Meet the Press" Sunday, Former President Trump said he, “Likes the concept” of a female running mate.

- Which is great news for He/She Bud Light Spokesmodel Dylan Mulvanney!!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

The Federal Government is asking for the Publics help in locating an $80 MILLION State-of-the-Art F-35 Fighter Jet that went MISSING over South Carolina yesterday. The pilot ejected safely... but the plane - which was on autopilot - may still be flying or could have crashed. If you have any information... the Gov says to call 1-843-963-3600.

- Seriously?? So now we’ve gone from putting up flyers for your missing Dog or Cat… to doing the same thing for a missing $80 MILLION AMERICAN FIGHTER JET?? Wow.

*****

THIS JUST IN... Hunter Biden is suing the IRS... claiming Whistleblowers "Illegally released his tax records" and "Embarrassed him".

- But he was okay with the PICTURES of him and the HOOKERS on his LAPTOP?!?!

*****

Colorado Republican Rep. Lauren Boebert says that she is “truly sorry” after being caught on a night vision camera vaping, dancing, and "getting frisky" with her date at a live performance of Beetlejuice last week.

- It's pretty amazing that they could get all that on camera in a darkened theater... and not one single frame of the guy who left the bag of Cocaine at the White House.

*****

Over the weekend, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer quietly changed the Senate Dress Code to allow Senators to wear what they want on the floor instead of traditional business attire. It's being called the "Fetterman Rule" after PA Senator John Fetterman who likes to wear gym shorts and hoodies to work.

- Question: How are we going to tell the difference between the Hoodied mobs robbing us blind in San Francisco & Chicago…. and the Senators with Hoodies robbing us blind in D.C.??

- I guess the new policy is… “If you can’t beat ‘em… Dress like ‘em!”

*****

According to a new survey, the percentage of American Parents who believe it’s “Very Important” for their kids to have Good Manners has fallen from 76% to just 52%.

- ONLY 52% OF PARENTS think good manners are important??

- Is is any wonder? If our Senators can wear SHORTS to work… why should our kids worry about saying “Please” or “Thank you”???

*****

On this day in 1793, President George Washington laid the cornerstone of the Capitol Building in Washington D.C.

- He wore Breeches, a Powdered Wig, and a Hoodie with a "We Made America Great” logo on it.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

- Dick

Mexican scientists presented what they claimed were 1,000-year-old "non-human alien corpses" in glass display cases before the Mexican Congress during its first hearing on UFO’s Wednesday.

- Personally, I’d say the so-called “Aliens” look more like Lawn Decorations from “Halloween USA”.

*****

According to a new study… Tumeric may be just as effective at combating heartburn and indigestion as Omeprazole a.k.a Prilosec.

- Is it just me or does “Omeprazole a.k.a Prilosec” sound more like the name of a new Rapper?

*****

Mark Zuckerberg’s new social media platform “Threads” - (his answer to X formerly Twitter) - is already in trouble for limiting free speech… admitting they’ve been intentionally blocking searches about Covid and Vaccines in an effort to “Stop Disinformation”.

- If they want to “Stop Disinformation” maybe they should block searches for “Advice from Dr. Fauci”.

*****

According to newly released documents, during a “Doping Scandal” back in 2014/15, Yankees legend Alex Rodriguez told investigators he “used Viagra and Cialis for fun”.

- Well… yeah… Isn’t that the point?

- It’s not like… “I’m in the mood to clean the gutters, honey! Guess I’ll pop a Viagra”.

*****

Months after ordering layoffs of dozens of reporters and other employees , USA Today is hiring two journalists to cover two people exclusively: Taylor Swift and Beyoncé.

- So we’ve gone from Woodward and Bernstein covering WATERGATE to a team reporting on who Taylor is dating and what Beyonce is wearing.

- Incredible! And boring. (At least to me!)

*****

A woman in China was arrested for having 16 jobs at the same time… without ever working. Police say they don’t know how she managed to pull off the scam for so long.

- But I do… “Ancient Chinese Secret”.

*****

A woman running for local office in Virginia is facing calls to drop out after videos surfaced of her and her husband performing Sex Acts for money online… but she says she’s staying in the race.

- Well I guess we know her position on that. Along with several other things…

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

The Democrat Mayor of Burbank, California who goes by the name “Mayor Spanky”… invited a Drag Queen to Spank him at a Campaign event over the weekend… where there were kids in attendance. He/She, of course obliged.

- We’ve come a long way from Shakin’ Hands and Kissin’ Babies…

*****

Yesterday, Speaker Kevin McCarthy announced that the House of Representatives will launch a formal Impeachment Inquiry into President Biden… despite the White House and Democrats saying there’s “No Evidence”.

- I guess they mean “No Evidence” other than the $17 MILLION that came from China, Ukraine, Romania etc… that went to members of the Biden family… even the Grandkids!

*****

Hostess, the maker of Twinkies is being purchased by Smuckers in a $5.6 billion deal.

- Hostess said they felt comfortable trusting their famous Twinkie recipe with the Jelly Giant because, “With a name like Smuckers… It Has To Be Good”.

*****

A new survey revealed that many homeowners are delaying Do-It-Yourself remodeling projects because of the rising costs of building materials.

- That… and because in my case, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how to Do-It-Myself.

*****

A large sinkhole opened up on a San Francisco street this week following a ruptured water main break.

- Here’s an idea… From what we read and hear about the crazy stuff going on in San Francisco these days… maybe they should just bury the whole city in the Sink Hole and start over.

*****

Researchers working with the American Heart Association say Doctors have been taking Blood Pressure all wrong! That’s right… the results of a nearly 30-year study found that doctors may miss certain health complications like heart attack and stroke if they don’t take their patients blood pressure while they’re lying down - as well as the usual sitting down.

- Wait… I need some clarification here. Is the DOCTOR supposed to lay down?? Or the patient??

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

22 years ago today… at 8:46am on a beautiful, sunny morning in New York City… the World changed forever.

2,977 people lost their lives in a series of brutal, horrific terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centers in New York, the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and on a plane bravely forced down by passengers in Shanksville, Pennsylvania… “Let’s Roll”… likely saving thousands more lives. Countless more fell ill and died from the toxic effects of the attacks as the years went on.

We all remember where we were that day… That Moment… When we first heard.

I was on the air and shared what was happening with many of you.

It was Surreal. Unimaginable. An almost out-of-body experience.

How could this happen in America?? TO America??

But as the dust swirled and our hopes for survivors faded… something amazing happened. People started coming together. Because 9/11 didn’t happen to “Republicans” or “Democrats” or “Liberals” or “Conservatives”… it Happened to AMERICANS. Even Congress… members from both sides… gathered on the steps of the Capitol to Sing “God Bless America”.

In that moment… and the difficult days and weeks and months to come… we REMEMBERED.

Remembered that first and foremost… before all of our differences, be it the color of our skin, our sexual orientation, our religion, our economic status or which political party we support … we are AMERICANS. First. Foremost. Forever.

So on this day… as We Remember those who gave so much, we owe it to THEM to Remember who WE ALL ARE… AMERICANS.

We’ll see you back here Tuesday.

-Dick & Jackie

Researchers in Germany believe that Artificial Intelligence may soon supervise human workers.

- Didn’t we already have “Artificial Intelligence” running Germany during WW II?? I think it was some guy named Hitler??

*****

The latest dating trend has Men asking for "Refunds" for the money they spent on a First Date - when the woman turns down a Second Date - and they don’t see a “return on investment.”

- We had a much less complicated way of dealing with this in the old days... We called it "Going Dutch".

*****

After the success of "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey", another Nursery Rhyme is getting the Scary Silver Screen treatment. Yes... "Three Blind Mice" is being made into a full-length Horror Movie.

- Boy, I didn't see that coming. And - I'm just guessing here - Neither did the Mice.

*****

85-year-old actor Anthony Hopkins received rapturous applause when he sat down and began playing piano in a hotel lobby.

- Things got a little tense though when he bought everybody in the audience a "Nice glass of Chianti and some Fava beans".

*****

The study also found that 90% of those who have a college degree and feel bored at work - never thought they’d feel this way when they were in school.

- Well, duh! You can’t show up for work drunk. Unless, of course you’re a Commercial Airline Pilot.

*****

According to new survey, nearly half of Americans find their job “unexciting” and are often bored at work.

- It didn’t sound that bad until I found out they only surveyed “Motivational Speakers”.

*****

Chinese authorities arrested two construction workers accused of using an excavator to dig a hole through the Great Wall in central Shanxi province.

- In America we have Pot Holes. In China they have Pot Sticker Holes.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

- Dick

Remember that Shop teacher in Canada, Kayla Lemieux who claims to be Transgender and showed up to class everyday wearing a blonde wig and giant Z-Cup prosthetic breasts??? Well... He/She showed up for the first day of classes at a new High School - dressed as... a MAN! Yup. A black polo shirt, blue plaid shorts and a good amount of facial hair.

- Then again... in these crazy days having a beard doesn't mean he’s NOT identifying as a Woman. Or… He could be a Man who identifies as a Woman who just didn’t feel like shaving that day.

- Rumor has it that he dropped the act because when he was “Fuller in the chest area”… people kept mistaking him for Chris Christie.

*****

There was a familiar face missing at the table yesterday when the ladies of "The View" returned from their month-long summer vacation... Whoopi Goldberg was off - and will remain so for a while - as she's tested positive for Covid.

- I didn’t know Whoopi was on Vacation for a month… or that she didn’t come back… since I take a Vacation from “The View” Everyday.

*****

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is expected to head to Russia and meet with President Putin to discuss, in part, selling weapons to aid the Kremlin’s war in Ukraine.

- Boy I’d love to be a fly on the wall when those two guys sit down to talk… And then see if Chubby Kim is able to get up and out of the chair when they’re done talkin’.

*****

A survey of 2,000 working Americans finds that when thinking about saving money for retirement, a “Five-Year Plan” simply isn’t going to cut it.

- That's because the way things are going these days, people aren't sure they’re going to be around five years from now.

*****

According to a recent survey Rhode Island, West Virginia & Arizona have the most Confrontational Drivers... with more than 80% of drivers saying they've been "yelled at, insulted, cursed at, or threatened by another driver".

- I think they misspelled “Arizona”… It’s actually spelled: “M-I-C-H-I-G-A-N”.

*****

A Delta flight from Atlanta to Barcelona, Spain had to make an emergency landing when a passenger experienced severe "Intestinal issues" and ran to the lavatory. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it. The pilot declared it a “Biohazard” and headed back to Atlanta.

- Ironically, Passengers were heading to Spain for the Running of the Bulls... and instead, they ended up with, Well…you know.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

I hope you had a great Labor Day Weekend! I saw “Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning” yesterday… To me, it was a “Two Bathroom Break” movie… mainly because the “Impossible Mission” was following the plot. But I did enjoy the Popcorn!

*****

National Cheese Pizza Day! The day Pizza makers encourage Americans to refrain from ordering toppings and embrace the simplicity of plain old Cheese Pizza.

- Whataya say?? Shall we all Hold the Pepperoni today?

*****

Double-vaccinated and twice boosted Jill Biden has tested POSITIVE for COVID but is only experincng “mild symptoms” and will remain at the couples home in Delaware. On a bright note… the President tested negative.

- Of course that was just in the Polls. He doesn’t have Covid either.

*****

The most recent Wall Street Journal Poll showed that if the election were held today, Biden and Trump would be TIED at 46% each.

- Proving once again, it’s a “Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”.

*****

According to a new biography, Elon Musk grew to hate Twitter’s blue bird logo and vowed to replace it with his own “X” Logo, telling his team, “All these damn birds have to go.”

- So Elon basically gave the Bird the Bird.

*****

School is back in session!! New research reveals that the average parent will spend about $489-dollars on school supplies this year.

- But most parents say the trade-off of having the kids out of the house is worth much, much more.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Happy Labor Day! On behalf of Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, and Dopey… I hope you’re able to spend the day like I am… celebrating … “Lazy”!!!

Have a great Holiday and I’ll see you back here tomorrow!

-Dick