Tony Bennett died this morning… just two weeks shy of his 97th Birthday.

If I had to pick two singers who made up the “Soundtrack” of my life it would be Tony and Frank Sinatra. I met and interviewed Tony several times over the years… once at the Roostertail many years ago, another time at one of my many radio stations, and another at his Hotel in town. I got there a few minutes early for our pre-arranged interview and Tony answered the door wearing only a t-shirt and boxer shorts. He ended up doing the whole interview dressed that way!!

From his first hit, “Because of You” in the 1950’s to his recent “Duet” albums that he did with Lady Gaga and other artists , Tony Bennett was…and always will be… one of the greatest American standard/pop singers of all time - on par with Frank Sinatra who once said, “For my money, Tony Bennett is the best singer in the business."

On a personal note… When I was in elementary school… one of my teachers, Miss Tripidii, was actually COUSINS with Tony Bennett!!!! I’ll never forget her handing out black and white wallet sized photos of him to everyone in the class!

If only I’d kept mine…

One more thing - I was going to post one of of his more popular songs like “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”… but I decided to put up a lesser known hit of Tony’s - but a great one - “If I Ruled the World”. It was written in 1963 but it has a message that we all need to hear today…

If only…

- Dick

A British Man has been crowned “World Toe Wrestling Champion” after finally beating a 17-time winner.

- He celebrated the victory by going to the market, having some roast beef, and eventually going wee, wee, wee, wee all the way home.

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According to a new study, eating breakfast before 8:00 a.m. may prevent Type 2 diabetes.

- Luckily, IHOP opens at 7am... So I can get in my "Rooty Tootie Fresh & Fruity Pancake" PREVENATIVE MEDICINE just in time!!!

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According to a new report, Harry and Meghan asked if they could hitch a ride back to the States on Air Force One with the Bidedns after Queen Elizabeth's funeral but were immediately turned down. Apparently the White House thought it might ruffle relations with King Charles.

- Harry and Meghan ended up having to fly commercial which cost more than $10,000 - and that's before you factor in the cost of checking all Harry's Emotional Baggage

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A new survey finds that two in five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition... And 85 percent don’t think you need to get married to have a fulfilling and committed relationship.

- Where was this kind of thinking when I was paying for my six lovely daughters six lovely weddings?? (Actually it was SEVEN lovely weddings... but who's counting?!?)

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According to a new study, Parents with multiple kids are more likely to neglect their own Physical Fitness.

- Aha! So THAT explains my belly!

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Rapper 50 Cent warned that Los Angeles is “finished” after the city reinstated a controversial no-bail policy.

- And you know when 50 Cent puts in his 2 Cents, you end up about 48 Cents short of a dollar.

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A snail racing event in England has been awarded a Guinness World Record as the “Longest Running Snail-Racing World Championship in History”.

- If you’re interested in attending, there’s still time! It’s been a year and a half and the contestants haven’t even made it to the starting blocks yet.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

It’s National Hot Dog Day!!!

- So fire up the grill and get your Buns ready!!! It’s time to relish summer!!!

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Speaking of “Toasted Buns”…

A 22 year old Tik Tok Influencer says the shape wear she was wearing last New Year’s Eve saved her life after she was shot four times. Angela Wiley says the “Skims” bodysuit by Kim Kardashian was “so tight” it held her organs in place and kept her from “bleeding out”.

- This is great news Guys!!! Turns out Diamonds AREN’T a Girl’s Best Friend! What they really want is a nice, bullet-proof girdle!! Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time. Jackie looked it up and it said Girdles went out of style in 1970 - when they were replaced by “Pantyhose”. Which Jackie added led to the dreaded… “CONTROL TOP” !!!

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According to a new report, over 100-million Americans believe that Aliens visit us regularly on Earth.

- I don’t know about you… but they tend to show up at my house every Thanksgiving right around dinner time.

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After a Southwest flight from Colorado to Salt Lake City was delayed, Taylor Swift fans on their way home from attending her concert - burst into song on the plane.

- And Southwest immediately charged everyone on the plane an extra 25 bucks for “On board entertainment”.

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A Ukrainian helicopter crew told The Sunday Times that women in the country Flash them as they fly overhead to boost their morale.

- The Pilots tipped the wings of their jets to the girls in thanks… with one adding, “I never realized Ukraine had such mountainous terrain!”

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Rapper Wiz Khalifa threw out the first pitch at the Pittsburgh Pirates game… while high on Psychedelic Mushrooms.

- What a Fun… gi !!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

"Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One" took in just $56.2 MILLION this weekend - a box office disappointment because it cost more than $250 MILLION to make.

- Sounds like there’s not gonna be a “Part Two”.

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The big winner again this weekend... "The Sound of Freedom" - the remarkable movie about Child Sex Trafficking in the United States and Around the World - and hat YOU can do about it. I highly recommend it!

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Speaking of movies…

Hollywood has come to a virtual standstill as 160,000 Actors and Actresses have gone on strike. The Screen Actors Guild wants guarantees from studios and film makers that AI and computer generated faces and voices will not be used to replace them.

- Do you think we could compromise and just have Artificial Intelligence replace Alec Baldwin and Joy Behar??

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The star-studded cast of “Oppenheimer” - which opens this weekend got up and WALKED OUT of the film's London premiere at the moment the strike was called in Hollywood.

- The audience supported the protest… spontaneously erupting in massive applause. The director of “Oppenheimer” said he hadn't seen that big an explosion since… well… you get the idea.

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According to a new study by Consumer Affairs, the Best Drivers in the Country are in Green Bay, Wisconsin and the Worst are in Memphis, Tennessee. How does Detroit Rate? We came in 7th... 7th WORST that is, right behind Cleveland, Ohio.

- Hear that Ohio? We're right behind you. Move over. This is the fast lane!!!

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The Republican Prez Candidates - all except for Trump - faced questions from Tucker Carlson in Iowa over the weekend... with many saying former VP Mike Pence killed his own career when he responded to Tucker's question about Pence's support for more tanks for Ukraine while American cities fall apart. Pence replied, "That's not my concern".

- Oops.

- Well it's not like he shot him in the face like Dick Cheney once did or Spelled “Potato” wrong like Dan Quayle…

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The New York Police Department says it used DNA obtained off of pizza crust to link the Long Island Serial Killer suspect to cold cases.

- Meanwhile they're using DNA off a half eaten Chimichanga to link Chris Christie to some XXL sweatpants left at a Mexican Restaurant.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

THIS JUST IN… The Secret Service says they’re CLOSING their investigation into the Cocaine found in the
White House WITHOUT IDENTIFYING A SUSPECT. They say they found no fingerprints or DNA and were unable to identify anyone on video footage.

- Wow. It’s like Amelia Earhart and Jimmy Hoffa… I guess some mysteries are just too big to be solved!!

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President Biden took some heat for skipping out on dinner at the G7 summit… the third time he’s bowed out of an important evening engagement with International leaders which critics say make the US look “weak”.

- I say if the other guys want to meet with the Prez, they can show up for the “Early Bird Cottage Cheese & Fruit Plate” at the Lithuanian Big Boy when HE’S ready to eat!!!

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In a speech yesterday, VP Kamala Harris said, “This issue of transportation is fundamentally about just making sure that people have the ability to get where they need to go.” (TRUE!)

- One. Heartbeat. Away. 😳

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A Long Island man who went viral after video surfaced of him slugging a one-legged man and dancing naked on a Las Vegas poker table claims he’s a mild mannered insurance salesman who lost control after someone spiked his drink at a bachelor party.

- Remember the good old days - before the Internet - when everything that Happened in Vegas, actually STAYED in Vegas??

- On a bright note, he got a job as a dancer in the Chorus Line at the Bellagio! Turns out he’s got great legs!

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An “Unidentified Beaver” that bit an unidentified swimmer in Lake Lanier in the state of Georgia over the weekend has just tested positive for rabies.

- A Beaver with rabies? Dam(n)!

- While the Beaver has not been “identified”… Authorities do not believe it to be “Beaver Cleaver”… or his brother, Wally.

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A man was amazed to find that he accidentally photographed a UFO as he took a selfie in Mexico.

- He was amazed because most of the Aliens have already left Mexico and crossed into the US.

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Monday, the ladies of “The View” weighed in on an article in the NYTimes that called President Biden out for not acknowledging his 7th Grandchild - the illegitimate 4 year old daughter, Navy Joan that Hunter had with his ex-Stripper girlfriend. The ladies said it’s a “Private matter” that's nobody's business.

- And then they spent 20 minutes debating whether Melania sleeps in the same bedroom as Donald.

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Thanks again for all the Birthday wishes on yesterdays blog!

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

PS… Good luck to my friend Kevin Hennings down in Florida who is launching his new podcast/Facebook live space at Noon! It’s called “Beating Cancer Today” and you can find it on Facebook under Kevin’s page!! (It will be up to watch after the live event) He’s a retired Marine and Cancer Survivor with an incredible story to tell!

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President Biden met King Charles in the U.K. for the first time yesterday… and things got a little awkward when the Prez stopped to talk to the Palace guards and King Charles had to physically move him along.

- Turns out President Biden was trying to find out where the Queen was.

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Mike Lindell is auctioning off hundreds of pieces of manufacturing equipment and manufacturing space after several shopping networks and major retailers took his MyPillow products off store shelves. Mike says he's, "Disheartened... but I've already made a plan to come back bigger and better!"

- Hey Mike... "I Knew you would!"

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MSNBC is being slammed for a piece they posted yesterday that linked working out to far-right extremism. The article claimed “White Supremists” are using Exercise as a way to promote “Violence and Hypermasculinity”.

- Well that explains their new found love of Chris Christie.

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A female Scottish entertainer has gone viral after video footage of her singing to a pigeon in a park was shared on social media.

- The audience gave her a standing ovation and the pigeon pooped on her head.

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New research says that lifting weights as many times as you can is enough to build both strength and muscle - regardless of how much the weights actually weigh! In other words, it’s the repetition - NOT the amount you lift.

- So I guess that sweat I’ve been working up lifting my 2 lb. weights means I’m actually gettin’ the job done after all!

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Pardon me for interrupting… but it’s Jackie here! Just wanted to jump in and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the Greatest Dad in the World - Mine!!!!!! He didn’t want me to mention it… but he’s the Boss… and I’m the one who knows the “tech stuff”… so there!!!!!! We’re having a little family shindig tonight to celebrate, so hopefully we’ll have some pics tomorrow!!!!

Have a wonderful Birthday Dad!!!! We love you so much!!!!!!!!

Love, Your Girls

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Social Media had a field day when President Biden showed up shirtless in a pair of swim trunks on a beach in Delaware on Saturday.

- I for one was glad to see that even though he looks trim in a suit, he has the same rolls around his mid section as the rest of us guys... including yours truly! It’s amazing what a suit can hide!!

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A California woman gave birth to quadruplets on the 4th of July.

- FOUR Babies??? Sounds like the Fireworks were about 9 months earlier.

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WH Press Spokesperson Karine Jean Pierre is taking heat for insisting that the Bidens left the White House THURSDAY before the infamous Cocaine was discovered - meaning it couldn’t belong to a family member - despite official records showing the family was there until FRIDAY at 6:30pm.

- They better be careful… If Karine’s nose gets any longer, Joe’s gonna trip over it.

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According to a new article in left leaning news website Axios, President Biden has such a quick-trigger temper behind closed doors that some aides try to avoid meeting alone with him. The Prez’s favorite outbursts are said to include, “How the BLEEP don’t you know this?!”, “Get the BLEEP out of here!!” and “Don’t you BLANKING Bulls*** me!!”

- And that’s just when they gave him plain Vanilla ice cream and told him it was actually his favorite: Chocolate Chip.

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Rikkie Valerie Kolle, 22, a Transgender woman (Ie: born a Man) has been crowned Miss Netherlands — setting up a historic chance to become Miss Universe. Wearing a red gown with a thigh high slit (she could have used a razor and some shaving cream), Rikkie beat out all the biological female contestants to become the first Trans Miss Netherlands in history.

- But some of her competitors complained that she should have been disqualified for having extra juggling balls during the Talent portion of the competition!!!

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A book about electricity was returned to a Massachusetts library 119 years after it was first taken out.

- You should have seen the overdue Charge.

That reminds of a little known historical fact about Ben Franklin - who of course “Discovered” the connection between lightning and electricity. While he was out in his backyard, flying his kite during a lightning storm, his wife leaned out of their bedroom window and yelled to him, “Hey Ben… Why don’t you stop fooling around with your kite, come back in the house and try to turn ME on for a change?!!?”

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

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Last week, a microscopic Louis Vuitton-inspired handbag “Smaller than a grain of salt” sold for a whopping $63,730. The one-of-a-kind design is neon green and is so tiny it can actually fit though the eye of a needle.

- Well good luck finding a pair of shoes to match!!

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Despite being one of the most closely guarded and monitored buildings in the world, White House officials say “We may never know” who brought the baggie of Cocaine into the White House where it was discovered by the Secret Service Sunday night.

- So we have video of the Hindenburg, the Atomic Bomb explosion , JFK’s assassination, etc… but we’re supposed to believe they don’t know where somebody dropped a bag of Coke in this “100% transparent” full-of-cameras White House??

- First they said it was IN the Library, then NEAR the Library, then in the WEST Wing, then in the EAST Wing…

- This reminds me of the last time I was on a White House tour when two women in line in front of me turned and said, “Are you Dick Purtan?”. I admitted that I was. I didn’t leave anything behind that day… but If I had… it wouldn’t have been a bag of Cocaine. It probably would have been a bag of Raisinettes I keep in my back pocket in case I want a snack.

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A New Jersey judge has been slapped with a formal complaint after allegedly posting videos of himself on TikTok lipsynching to "inappropriate" rap songs about violence and sex both in his courtroom and while partially naked in bed. The questionable lines included, “All my life, I’ve been waiting for somebody to whoop my a**”.

- Well, Judge… Looks like the wait is over!!!

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Louisianna Senator John Kennedy says the Washington D.C. establishment is “working harder than an UGLY STRIPPER” to cover up for Hunter Biden.

- Well, then. At least Hunter’s working with someone he already knows…

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Sharks have been spotted swimming in shallow waters at several Florida beaches, sending frantic swimmers fleeing to safety.

- In a related story, Beach goers rushed to help a Humpback Whale that washed up on the Jersey Shore this weekend… but it turns out it was just Chris Christie who got a cramp from swimming too soon after downing 3 Corn Dogs and a half dozen Funnel Cakes.

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A Seal was returned to the ocean after wandering through a New Zealand city and visiting the parking lot of a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant.

- So even Seals have a “Bucket List”.

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New worldwide data found that women in the USA have the fourth largest breasts in the world. They say it’s accurate because they used the Medical Gold Standard: A Double Blind Study.

- Actually, in this case it was a “Double D” Blind Study.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

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The White House and Secret Service are scrambling to figure out how a baggie filled with “white powder” - that tested positive for Cocaine - was found near the library of the White House Sunday night.

- Talk about a whodunit!

- It’s like a real life game of “Clue”… except instead of “Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the Candlestick”, it might have been “Hunter in the Library with the Crack Pipe”.

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Speaking of the First Son… New photos have emerged that Hunter took on August 2nd, 2018 of his car’s dashboard that show him driving 172 MPH, smoking crack while driving to Las Vegas to meet up with some Hookers.

- But as the administration was quick to point out, the important thing is… Hunter was driving an ELECTRIC CAR!!

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Power-eater Joey Chestnut gobbled his way to another win at Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest yesterday downing 62 franks and buns in 10 minutes to take his 8th straight “Mustard Belt” and 16th win since 2005.

- I had a couple hot dogs over the weekend. Question: Is there an easy way to get mustard out of the belly part of a Red, White & Blue shirt?? Especially the White part??

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Over the weekend, a massive brawl broke out at a Spirit Airlines ticket counter in Orlando.

- These days, flying Spirit is a lot scarier that riding the “Tower of Terror” and “Demon Drop” put together.

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Former NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio and his Lesbian wife of 30 years have decided to separate in order to “date other people” - but will not divorce and continue to live in the same house.

- Makes sense they're not getting divorced… they still have much in common… They both like girls!

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Actors and Actresses in Hollywood are preparing to join Writers in what would amount to a massive "Double Strike" that would bring nearly all US Movie and TV productions to a halt.

- So prepare yourself: The only things left are gonna be dozens of “Judge” shows and the "The Real Housewives of… FILL IN THE BLANK".

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Speaking of movies… Saw The “Sound of Freedom” yesterday which is about the US and Worldwide problem of Child Sex Trafficking. I recommend you see it!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

On this day 247 years ago, a brave group of men put their names to a document declaring their Independence from Britain, then the most powerful nation on Earth. Thomas Jefferson’s words, “We hold these truth’s to be self-evident” and all that followed led to the creation of the greatest, most “Free” country in human history. But the men who put their “John Hancock” on that historic document paid a heavy price. I came across this early today and wanted to share it with you. As they say… Freedom isn’t free!

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“Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons in the revolutionary army, another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the revolutionary war.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they? Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners, men of means, well educated. But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers or both, looted the properties of Ellery, Clymer, Hall, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. The owner quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife’s bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart. Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.

Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution. These were not wild eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more. Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged: ‘For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.’”

Michael W Smith

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God Bless America!!!

See you back here tomorrow!

-Dick & Jackie

It's “National Waffle Iron Day”...

Which, of course, comes on the heels of "National Starch-Your-Pancakes Day".

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BREAKING: The Supreme Court has struck down Affirmative Action policies at Colleges and Universities making it illegal for them to use race as a single determining factor in admissions.

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Yesterday, the WH was forced to admit that President Biden has started wearing a CPAP machine at night to help with “Sleep Issues” after he was seen with visible marks on his face from wearing the mask.

- Well the CPAP may be helping Joe sleep better… but finding that out didn’t do much for my sleep last night.

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In other medical news…

Aspartame - the artificial sweetener used in everything from Diet Coke to "Extra" Chewing Gum is set to be declared "Possibly Carcinogenic to Humans" - despite being on the market since the 1980's.

- Well... if it only took them 40 years to figure that out, I guess we should be cool with them approving Ozempic, Wegovy & Rybelsus Diabetes drugs for Weight Loss in less than five years, right?

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Madonna was rushed to a New York City hospital's intensive care unit and spent several days in the ICU after being found unresponsive in her NYC apartment last Saturday. Doctors say she's on the mend after suffering from a "Life threatening" bacterial infection.

- Docs said it was “Scary” because it was the first time they’d seen Madonna with an infection “a tube of anti-biotic ointment” wouldn’t take care of.

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More than 80 million people from the Midwest to the East Coast are under air quality alerts as the smoke from Canadian wildfires sweeps across the US. The air quality here in Detroit and Chicago is being called the WORST IN THE WORLD!!!

- Hey Canada... next time you want to send us something... Send Tim Horton's Donuts!

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According to new research, an unwashed pillowcase could harbor 3 million bacteria after just one week, which is about 17,000 times more than the average toilet seat.

- Hey… How come Mike Lindell hasn't come up with a "MyToiletSeat"?? Who wouldn’t want “The most comfortable toilet seat you've ever owned”???

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The Philadelphia Department of Public Health is asking city residents for help naming its new public restrooms.

- How about… “Doodie Calls” ? Or not.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Happy Birthday to Elon Musk who is 52 today… It’s not too late Elon! You’ve still got time to make something of yourself!

Also celebrating a Birthday today… Comedy legend Mel Brooks turns the big 9-7. So many great movies… “Blazing Saddles”, “High Anxiety”, “The Producers”, “History of the World - Part I” my personal favorite, “Young Frankenstein”… and so many more!

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A new Pew Research survey released today found 57% of 1,007 Canadian respondents have a favorable view of the U.S., down from 63% in 2022.

- Meanwhile, another survey conducted yesterday found that 72% of Michiganders have a really Dim view of Canada… largely because they CAN’T SEE IT THROUGH THE ALL THE SMOKE FROM THE CANADIAN WILD FIRES.

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Well hats off - or should we say “Masks off” to Dr. Anthony Fauci who is set to join Georgetown University in July as a “Distinguished Professor… Georgetowns’s highest professional honor”. Fauci said, “I could do more experiments in the lab… but given what I’ve been through, I think what I have to offer is experience and inspiration to the younger generation of students.”

- I think I speak for a lot of Americans when I say… Please Doc… NO MORE “experiments” in your lab!! YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH.

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Talking to reporters on the grounds of the White House this morning, President Biden said that Russian President Putin is “Clearly losing the war in IRAQ”.

- Which is great new for Vlad… because now he can focus all his energy on his attacks in UKRAINE!

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Actress Gal Gadot - who played “Wonder Woman” is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

- Which comes as a great surprise to many in Hollywood who believe that nowadays, the “Wonder Woman” star should rightfully go to “Batman”.

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A Minnesota man is behind bars after he walked into a restaurant last Friday and “Began throwing Skittles candies at patrons and employees in an unprovoked attack”.

- Question: What would one have to do for it to be considered a “Provoked” Skittles attack??

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

It’s “National Bingo Day”! That reminds me of something… I knew a farmer once. He had a dog. But for the life of me, I can’t remember the dogs name…

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Congratulations to Frankie Valli who said “I Do” to his 60 year old girlfriend Jackie Jacobs in Vegas yesterday! The two have been dating since 2015 and this is Frankie’s 4th trip down the aisle.

- Of course, at 89… this morning after the Wedding Night… he needed a little help to “Walk Like a Man”.

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Pop Singer “Pink” stopped singing in the middle of her London concert when one of her fans threw a bag on stage that contained… wait for it… THE WOMAN’S MOTHERS ASHES. She told a shocked “Pink” that her Mom didn’t get out much before she died and so she liked to “take her places”.

- I would have gone with a “Grateful Dead” concert… but that’s just me.

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This just in… A Department of Justice Watchdog announced that “A combination of negligence and misconduct” allowed Jeffrey Epstein to off himself in a New York City prison cell four years ago. The report blames the lack of a cellmate, broken cameras and “too many linens’ among the issues that allowed for his “Suicide”.

- Oh yeah… And the person who sneaked into his cell and killed him.

- Or is it snuck??

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A top Exec at Spotify says before Harry & Meghan’s $20 MILION deal was axed earlier this month, Prince Harry wanted to do Podcasts with “Donald Trump, Mark Zuckerberg and Vladimir Putin” about their CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS and how that affected them as adults. (TRUE)

- If only Vlad had done that Podcast I’m sure he wouldn’t have invaded Ukraine!!

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A video has gone viral of an incredibly fit, washboard-abbed Democratic presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. doing push-ups as he “Prepares to Debate” Joe Biden.

- Joe’s like, “Push ups, Smush ups! I wanna know if the guy can Fall UP the stairs!?!”

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On this day in 1778 the Liberty Bell was returned to Philadelphia after the British left for England following their defeat in the Revolutionary War.

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Sooooo the whole Russian thing this weekend. What was that all about?? Beats me…

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A newly released What’s App message shows Hunter Biden pressuring a Chinese “Business Associate” so complete an agreed upon transaction or “face the consequences” while his father (VP at the time) is sitting in the room. Several days later… the Bidens received $5 MILLION from the Chinese.

- Gosh. What a coincidence!

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About a dozen naked men danced, rode their bikes and flashed their genitals to the crowd - including kids - at the Pride Parade in Seattle over the weekend.

I saw the video… and I don’t care where you stand on this issue… those guys didn’t have that much to be “Proud” of.

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Chris Christie was booed while addressing a gathering of top conservatives after he accused former President Trump of failing the Republican Party.

- It was the first time Christie’s gotten booed for something other than taking the last slab of ribs at the “Golden Coral” All You Can Eat Buffet.

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According to a new report, there are plans for more “Mission: Impossible” movies already in the works.

- But Tom Cruise is 60 now. At this point his idea of “Mission: Impossible” is getting his Cholesterol numbers in the “Good” range.

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A proposed bill from New York City council members would require emergency vehicles operating in the Big Apple to use quieter sirens.

- That way it will be easier to hear the screams of people being assaulted on the streets.

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On this date in 1993 “Late Night with David Letterman” aired for the last time on NBC. It also marked the last time David Letterman shaved.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

President Biden surprised his staff and angered the Chinese Government during a fundraising speech this week when he referred to Chinese President Xi Jinping as a “dictator.”

- Biden actually MEANT to say, “God Save the Dictator, man!”

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Wednesday, the US Agriculture Department approved the sale of Chicken grown in labs. It’s different from Plant-based meat because it’s actually made from animal cells that are grown in giant metal tanks.

- Great. Now another question we can’t answer: “Why did the Lab-Grown Chicken Cross the Road?”

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Alec Baldwin’s wife Hilaria, who - shares 7 kids with him - says that despite being 26 years Alec’s junior, “Sometimes I’m his Mommy, too”.

- Well based on his public behavior through the years… She might wanna think about taking away his Toys, Juice Box & Pokemon Cards for a while.

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Hilaria - famous for both her large family and her fake Spanish accent - says she “Loves giving birth” and likened the experience to “Going down a water slide that’s really scary! You get to the bottom and you’re like… I want to do that again!”

- I realize that I’m not a woman and I’ve never given birth…but isn’t it actually the BABY that’s the one “Going down the water slide”???

- Either way, remind me NOT to go to Cedar Point with Hilaria any time soon.

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A survey of 2,000 U.S. adults found that 54% of people are psyched for summer… which began yesterday… feeling “very” or “extremely” excited about hitting the beach or pool.

- The other 46% have already tried on their bathing suits in front of a mirror.

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A local TV Meteorologist in Iowa has resigned, citing “PTSD” brought on by the stress from threatening emails he says he received from viewers who were unhappy with his reports on “Climate Change”.

- I miss Sonny Eliot! He was Strong! He was Funny! He was “STRUNNY!!”

*****

Researchers documenting animal life on a stretch of Texas’ Gulf Coast shared video documenting an unusual discovery: a metal safe washed up on the beach.

- The safe was immediately given official papers, a free cell phone and a bus ticket to NYC.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

Thanks to all of you who responded to yesterday’s post about EMMY AWARD WINNER BIG AL MUSKOVITO!!!! And special thanks to Purtan’s Person Joe Noune for reminding me that apparently - going forward - every time we mention Al’s name, we’ll have to preface it with “Emmy Award Winner”!

And I thought Al had a big head before!?!?!?

*****

BREAKING NEWS… After a FIVE YEAR Investigation... Hunter Biden has agreed to plead guilty to two tax misdemeanors and a single gun charge... meaning no jail time.

- Well... gosh... okay, then. That was fun.

- To prove to Republicans this isn't just a slap on the wrist, the Department of Justice is said to also be considering putting Hunter in a "Time Out".

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A contestant on “The Price is Right” got so excited about winning a prize, he dislocated his shoulder and host Drew Carey had to bring the man's wife up to spin the Big Wheel for him in the "Showcase Showdown".

- This is the most dramatic thing to happen on "The Price is Right" since a woman’s boobs popped out of her tube top while she was "Coming on Down" the aisle.

- Ironically… She ended up winning a Double Oven.

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A United Airlines flight attempting to park at the gate clipped the tail of another parked plane at Boston’s Logan Airport — shaking both planes and passengers.

- Airport cops were going to give the Pilot a ticket until they saw the "Careful… Student Driver!" bumper sticker on the plane’s tail.

******

But in more important news…

According to a new fan poll, Michael Keaton is the Best Batman of all-time.

- But votes for the Best “Joker” of all-time went to the guy who said, "We have plans to build a railroad from the Pacific all the way across the Indian Ocean".

*****

Happy Birthday to my Granddaughter Julia today!!

Have a great day… and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

AND THE EMMY GOES TO…

Congratulations to Big Al who won an EMMY Saturday night for Best Documentary: “A Tribute to Dick Purtan” at the 45th Annual Michigan Emmy Awards! Al deserves this honor and so much more!! And I’ll admit I had to brush away a tear when he ended his acceptance speech by saying, “God Save the Queen, Man!”

*****

Rivaling Big Al in the fashion department this weekend was Pennsylavania Senator John Fetterman who greeted President Biden at an event while wearing baggy shorts and a hoodie.

- At this point I guess we should just be grateful Fetterman didn’t take his hoodie OFF and shake his boobs like the Transgender Activist did in the White House Rose Garden, right after shaking President Biden’s hand LAST weekend.

- So far the WH doesn’t seem to have a problem with Fetterman’s casual dress around the Prez… then again, it took Joe THREE DAYS to go from Praising the Pride Event to Banning the Guy/Girl who flashed His/Her Boobs from EVER being at the White House again!

*****

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle have been “Cancelled” by Music & Podcasting company Spotify after producing only 13 hours of their “Archetypes” Podcasts in 2 1/2 years - despite signing a $20 MILLION contract with the company.

- 13 HOURS in TWO YEARS??? I’m not sure they’re “Archetypes” so much as “Pain In the A**-e-types”

*****

In a new survey, Gen Z is calling out Baby Boomers for their “annoying” workplace habits.

- Ya know, stuff like… actually SHOWING UP.

Gen Z workers (those up to age 26) say Boomers also “waste paper” and “use outdated language”.

- For example, Baby Boomers tend to say things like, “Please”, “Thank You”, and “There are only 2 genders”.

*****

Researchers in Australia analyzed the calls of 700 Frogs and discovered that all of them have different accents.

- And all 700 of ‘em sound more realistic than that fake Spanish-thing Alec Baldwin’s wife “Hilaria” keeps using.

*****

A Nigerian chef is officially a Guinness World Record holder after spending a consecutive 93 hours and 11 minutes cooking.

- They gave her an official certificate but what she really needs is a Microwave.

*****

Kudos to Fred Nahhat, Bill Allesee, Bill Kubota, Rodney Brown, & Justin Brown for their Emmy acheivements as well… Way to go guys!!!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

1 Comment

It’s Flag Day & my daughter Jennifer’s Birthday!

Also… Happy Birthday to Former Prez Donald Trump who is 77 today… Haven’t heard much from him… Wonder what he’s been up to?

It’s also Boy George’s 62nd Birthday. Year’s ago, two of my daughters were at one of his concerts and in the middle of the show he announced that he had heard about a phony “Boy George Fan Club” that their father (Me) had started on the radio. At this point “The Boy” pointed to his butt and said to the crowd, “Well you can tell Dick Purtan to KISS MY A * * !!”

A few days later, I’m at restaurant and a big burly guy yells, “Hey Purtan, I wanna show you something”. He reaches in his wallet and pulls out a “Boy George Fan Club Membership Card”. So Boy George… How’s that for Karma? (Chameleon).

*****

Saturday, the White House held a “Pride Event” in the Rose Garden during which President Biden made a speech praising the celebration. Transgender Model and Activist Rose Montoya was there and she took off her top, shook her fake breasts and danced just moments after shaking hands with President Biden. THREE DAYS after the Prez praised the event, Montoya was banned from the White House.

- …But she’s got a standing invitation to stop by Bill Clinton’s place in Chappequa.

*****

John Hopkins University is being slammed by critics for changing its definition of “Lesbian” - which used to be defined as a “Woman attracted to other women” to instead refer to the group as “non-man attracted to non-men” in order to include non-binary people.

- Huh?

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

1 Comment

One of two 60 foot giant rubber ducks on display in Hong Kong’s Victoria Harbor deflated on Saturday after excessive heat caused seams in the plastic to give out.

- Sing with me… “Rubber Ducky you’re the one. You make bath time… so much fun! Rubber Ducky I’m awfully fond of you!!!”

- Kermit the Frog is said to be inconsolable. No wait… It’s Ernie (of Bert & Ernie) that’s upset. Kermit sang, “It’s not easy being Green”. Sorry.

*****

On Monday, Pat Sajak announced that the upcoming season of “Wheel of Fortune” - the 41st - will be his last, saying, “It’s been a wonderful ride!”

- Pat says he’ll spend retirement doing things “AROUND THE HOUSE”.

*****

On Friday, the FDA approved the first of its kind over the counter treatment for Erectile Dysfunction, called “Eroxon”. The topical gel is said to work in just 10 minutes and will be available without a prescription in 2024.

- Docs say this is welcome news as, ironically with everything going on in the world today, cases of ED have been on the Rise.

*****

Sir Rod Stewart's English country estate in the heart of Beverly Hills, California is up for sale to the tune of $70 million.

- Rod is 78 and is a little nervous about driving at night. Maybe he wants to move closer to his recording studio. You know… somewhere he can get to on a “Downtown Train”.

*****

A Tennessee woman is in police custody after she allegedly paid a hitman $10,000 to kill the wife of a man she met on a dating site. But it turns out the so-called Hitman she met on the “Online Killers Market” was actually a cop who turned her in.

- This is why I always hire my hitmen the old fashioned way - through the Better Business Bureau.

*****

According to a new survey, almost half of Americans have argued with their significant other over the temperature of their living space… with 17% admitting they’ve gone so far as to lock their partner out of the thermostat settings.

- I would NEVER do that! Not because I don’t WANT to… Because I don’t know HOW to.

*****

Happy Birthday to Detroits own Tim Allen who is 69 today!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

Donald Trump said that, because they “Expose” the motivations of his political opponents, “In a sick way” he enjoys the legal charges and investigations brought against him.

- Well if that’s true… He’s been having one helluva good time ever since he came down that escalator and announced he was running for President in 2016!

*****

Pop superstar Lizzo braved the outdoor stage of the 2023 Governors Ball Friday despite New York City’s “unhealthy” air quality from the Canadian Wild Fires.

- Wow. That’s so unlike Lizzo to risk doing something unhealthy!

*****

In a now viral video, a YouTube Philanthropist (whatever that is) invited Tom Brady on his luxury yacht, sent his drone out over the water and challenged Brady to hit the drone with a pass. Tom joked that he “should come out of retirement” if he was successful - which, of course, he was. On his first try.

- We’ve already got this Biden-Trump re-do thing happening… We can’t re-live anything else.

*****

According to a new survey, 40% of adults still sleep with a childhood stuffed animal… even when sharing a bed with their partner.

- So? Is there something wrong with that??

*****

The White House is now confirming that China has paid Cuba BILLIONS and is currently operating a Spy Base on the Island - which is located just 90 miles from the U.S.

- Well there goes the neighborhood.

*****

A new report states that Australia will raise the minimum wage by almost 6% this summer as families grapple with soaring living costs.

- It’s gotten so bad, just to make ends meet, some people are forcing their pet Kangaroos to take jobs at IHOP.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

*****

-Dick